


An Unexpected Hobbit(Reader Insert)

by HobbitHetaliaTail, what_fandom_am_i_supposed_to_be_in



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: An Unexpected Journey, Anyways, At least he and bilbo can be together, Because tagging is fun, Damn, Dwarves, F/M, Fili and Kili die, GUYS, Gandalf - Freeform, HP References, Hobbit, I Have No Idea How To Tag This Thing, I TAGGED HER, ITS RIGHT THERE, If You Squint - Freeform, Just relax, LOTR, Lets get serious, My co-writer insisted, My co-writer made most of this, OK GREAT, OK., Reader Insert, ReaderxKilixFili, SHE HAS AN ACCOUNT NOW, SO, SO GREAT, Screw the system, Sirius - Freeform, So yeah, Some Live - Freeform, Sorry guys, This is ridiculous, Thorin Lives, Well - Freeform, Why Did I Write This?, Why am I tagging this?, an unexpected hobbit, and don't hate, and read this thing, bagginshield, because that is very mean, but its a reader insert, but y tho, delete the tags, enjoy our Halloween-Candy-induced-sugar-high monstrosity, even though im shit at it, fili - Freeform, first fic, five minutes later, for plot reasons, for some reason, gender equality, good luck man, great, have a good time, have fun, here you go, hope u liek et, i already have those in the characters thing, i cant really see it either, i did that enough when i went trick-or-treating, i guess ill just post the next chapter every thursday?, i mean him and the reader, i shouldn't be allowed to tag, i wrote like a fourth of this, i'll probably update this stuff, idk why, ill change the tags if the story idea changes, im not a memer, im not sorry, im sorry, it would be Bagginshield, its ThorinxReader, its not that bad actually, jfc i need to stop, kili - Freeform, like really hard, my dudes, my little dwarvies, nah, no?, not embarrass myself any further, ok, ok?, only Thorin gets to live, or woman, riddikulous, see it?, she wants me to add more tags, should i delete those tags, since she cant, some die, sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, strap yourself in, taggin as I go - Freeform, thank you, the cinnamon rolls dont deserve to die, uh, uhmmmm, wait, what, yeah - Freeform, yeah ok, you know what - Freeform, you need it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-01-28 18:48:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 52,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12613064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HobbitHetaliaTail/pseuds/HobbitHetaliaTail, https://archiveofourown.org/users/what_fandom_am_i_supposed_to_be_in/pseuds/what_fandom_am_i_supposed_to_be_in
Summary: After our dear old Bilbo Baggins threw his contract out the window, (Name) decided to take a peek, even though searching through other hobbit's property was generally frowned upon. But (Name) had a feeling the paper had something to do with those strange visitors last night. Honestly, who was that loud?





	1. My Neighbor is never this loud

**Author's Note:**

  * For [My hobbit & dwarf sons](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=My+hobbit+%26+dwarf+sons).



> OK GUYZ. My co-writer can't make her account rn, since people keep spamming AO3. So I can't tag her as a co-writer, which sucks. I'll give you guys the link to her Wattpad account at the bottom.  
> Some words also got messed up by someone as a 'prank'  
> If you spot any, just tell me, and I'll fix it.  
> Anyway  
> First Fic! Hope you enjoy. Don't hate plez.

_“Blunt the knives, bend the forks! Smash the bottles and burn the corks! Chip the glasses and crack the plates!”_  
 _“That’s what Bilbo Baggins hates!”_  
(Name) (L/N) glared at the wall from which the loud and boisterous singing was resonating from. In her experience, the Bagginses were extremely polite, normal, and definitely un-rambunctious, and (Name) had liked - no, loved it. She loved how cozy her hobbit-hole was, she loved how her parents were almost always on errands, and she loved how she could curl up with a large book and read undisturbed for hours.  
_“Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl! Pound them up with a thumping pole! When you’ve finished, if any are whole, send them down the hall to roll!”_  
 _“That’s what Bilbo Baggins hates!”_  
The singing stopped abruptly, and (Name) let out a sigh. What could be even going on next door? Did she even want to know? The (h/c) haired girl couldn’t help the tug forcing her to peer out a nearby circular window. Squinting through the darkness, she spotted a figure waiting at Mr. Baggins’ front door. He seemed to have long, dark brown hair, and was just a bit too tall to be a hobbit. A thick cloak hung from his back, and (Name) would’ve almost believed he was a shadow if she didn’t know better. Mr. Baggins’ door swung open, and the man stepped inside. The freshly painted door closed right after him. (Name) had to pry her eyes away from the light coming from the windows, and tried to focus on her book. Only after a couple minutes did the teen realize she was reading the same sentence again and again. Her (e/c) tinted gaze fell on the windows again. The light flickered as multiple people passed it. The two hobbit holes were so close together that (Name) could catch a glimpse of long, loosely tied orange hair.  
_Orange hair?_ (Name) couldn’t help wondering who Mr. Baggins’ visitors were. She closed her book reluctantly, slipping the soft, violet ribbon inside the delicate pages, and set it off to the side. The girl slipped out of her cozy, olive colored chair and crept closer to the glass, reverting to a childish habit of worrying she’ll be noticed.  
_“SHAZARA!”_ someone hollered from inside Bag-End, making (Name) jump back with a squeak. The thundering voice continued to speak, although it wasn’t loud enough for the wide-eyed teen to make out the words. She ached to sneak out the door and try to eavesdrop on whomever was speaking, but her parents’ voices were clear in her head. _You don’t leave the hole when we’re out, ok, (Name)? You never interfere in others’ business. And never ever go on an adventure. Ever._  
With a roll of her (e/c) eyes, (Name) picked up her hardcover book and started for her bedroom. “Whatever is going on in Bag-End is Mr. Baggins’ business,” she stated out loud as she pushed the (f/c) door open. Although that might’ve been true, (Name) didn’t feel completely confident in her declaration as she probably should’ve been. The tug of curiosity in her gut didn’t cease for the rest of the night.  
~  
It was early when (Name) woke up - maybe 8 or 9 in the morning. After she brushed her teeth and made to leave her room, she noticed a note on the inside of the door.

 

_(Name)-_   
_We’re going to be running errands for the whole day! Stay at home! And remember - don’t bother anyone!_   
_Love Mom & Dad XO_

(Name) sighed exasperatedly as she ripped the note from the wood of her door. “Stay at home,” she mocked the note in a high pitch. “Don’t bother anyone. Blah blah blah.” The girl made her way to the kitchen, where she quickly poured some water for herself. (H/c) hair still uncombed, she opened the front door and skipped down the steps to the mailbox. The sun was already shining brightly, the sky a crisp blue thing, with green hills rolling as far as the eye could see. Still half-asleep, (Name) stuck a hand into her mailbox and reached for the daily papers. As she pulled them out, motion from Bag-End caught her eye.  
A hand sticking out a window had just flung a very long piece of paper as far as possible. The fingers withdrew, and out popped Mr. Baggins’ head. Noticing (Name), he said, “Oh, good morning.”  
“G-good morning,” (Name) replied as she tried to untangle her hair with her fingers. “Could I ask - what was the thing you just threw-”  
“Nope,” Mr. Baggins nearly yelled. “I have nothing to do with it!” And with that, he drew back and shut the window.  
Making sure no one was watching, (Name) crept up to the parchment and snatched it up. At the top it said, “Contract - Burglar.” Confused, she stared at the black ink, until the sound of a front door opening sent her running back inside. She shut the door and continued to read.  
“Terms,” she murmured aloud. “Cash on delivery, up to but not exceeding one-fourteenth of total profit, if any. Present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence thereof including but not limited to lacerations, evisceration...incineration….What?!” (Name) knew she should probably follow Mr. Baggins’ lead and hurl the paper out the window, but a sick fascination kept her eyes on it. “This adventure to recapture Erebor will be taken by dwarves Thorin Oakenshield, Fili, Kili, Oin, Gloin, Balin, Dwalin, Ori, Nori, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, and the undersigned burglar…”  
An adventure. Wasn’t that what every hobbit in Hobbiton was taught to avoid? Then why had the...dwarves...gone to Mr. Baggins for a burglar? That means they need a burglar. I’m quiet, and sneaky, and strong-  
(Name) mentally slapped herself. What am I thinking? She grabbed a hairbrush and began going through the endless tangles in her (h/l) hair. Her eyes went over the text again. _This adventure to recapture Erebor…._  
_Stay at home, (Name)...._  
 _Don’t go on adventures, (Name)...._  
 _You need to be less impulsive, (Name)...._  
 _Use your head for once, (Name)...._  
(Name) was _so_ sick of being told what to do.  
For once, she wanted to escape it all.  
Grabbing a pen out of an inkwell, the girl scribbled her name on the line at the bottom. Her eyes shone with excitement. “I guess I’ll try being these dwarves’ burglar!” she exclaimed out loud.

~  
Fully dressed, necessities packed and contract in her hand, (Name) dashed out her door and out of her front lawn. Her boots barely touched the dirt path as she broke into a sprint. _The dwarves would’ve taken the main road out of Hobbiton, and that’s where I need to go!_  
“(Name), what are you doing?” a lady called after her. (Name) was already too far to reply. More and more hobbits stopped and stared at the seemingly insane girl with the large pack slung over her shoulder. She laughed crazily. “I’m going on an adventure!” she hollered. “Tell my parents for me!”  
The path started to even out as hills turned into forest. The whickers of ponies and the chatter of men was not too far ahead. As she slowed down, the excitement sloshing around in (Name)’s gut all of a sudden turned to anxiety. _I’m going on an adventure with complete strangers who are probably double my age, or more! What was I thinking?!_  
(Name) was aware, however, that there was no turning back. _Everyone will talk if I suddenly come running back and lock myself in my hole. I need to keep going!_  
With a newly found burst of courage, (Name) started running again. “Hey! HEY! Wait for me!” she yelled. A couple ‘whoa’s could be heard, and suddenly the group of dwarves came into sight. The young girl’s eyes widened.  
All the dwarves had long beards and long hair, and all their eyes were fixed on her. On the first pony - no, that was an actual horse! - was a man with a white beard in gray robes and a large hat. “Gandalf,” (Name) tried to say, but the name stuck in her throat.  
“Who are you?” a demanding and deep voice commanded. (Name) whirled around to face a dwarf who must’ve been the one she saw at Mr. Baggins’ door last night. His beard and hair were a deep brown, and his eyes were blu - _no, scary!_  
“Wha- I-” (Name) stuttered. She cleared her throat and started again. “I am (Name) (L/N), and I am here to be your burglar!” The girl held out the signed portion of the contract.  
“Where did you get that?” the wizard, Gandalf, immediately questioned (Name). His blue gaze was just as piercing as the black-haired dwarf, maybe even more, since his words were the ones that compelled her to sign the contract. “I, uh, Mr. Baggins threw it out, and I found it! I want to be part of your adventure!”  
The only bald dwarf snorted. “You, our burglar? You’re just a wee girl!”  
“I’m brave, unlike Mr. Baggins! He gave up, and I want to take his place! That makes me a better candidate!” (Name) was fully aware she was breaking every rule in the book of politeness, but who cared out of this lot?  
The girl could feel every pair of eyes on her. She tried not to let her anxiety show, but she was sure that sweat stains had already formed underneath her arms.  
“We should take the girl,” a voice interrupted the silence. All eyes turned to a very old-looking dwarf with a poofy white beard. His wise eyes seemed to scan (Name) up and down. “Thirteen is an extremely unlucky number, Thorin. We won’t fare well if Gandalf leaves. Even though she’s just a girl, she may be stronger that she looks.”  
“Ah, really, Balin!” one of the other dwarves snorted. (Name)’s face turned red.  
Thorin seemed to consider his words for a moment as he looked down his nose. “Fighting experience?” he asked gruffly.  
“I...uh…” (Name) started as she desperately thought of something. “I play croquet?”  
Thorin sighed.  
“Go home, (Name),” Gandalf grumbled. “And if Mr. Baggins changes his mind, send him after us.”  
“I am telling you this,” Balin insisted, “we cannot go with only 13! When the girl tires of the pony rides, just send her back home.”  
“I am not a girl, I am 17-”  
“Give her a pony,” Thorin grudgingly muttered. (Name)’s eyes lit up at the same time that her stomach dropped. “Really? I can go with you? I mean, a pony isn’t really necessary, I can walk, but I’m grateful, really-”  
The dwarves had already started riding again, and the _clip clop_ of horseshoes filled the quiet. (Name) felt two hands grab her by each arm and lift her into the air. With a small shriek, she was dropped onto the back of a pony, who started walking.  
“Welcome to Thorin’s company, (Name),” Balin smiled at (Name) as he passed by. The girl managed a tiny little grin of her own, preoccupied with hanging onto her pony. She grabbed fistfuls of its brown mane and clung on, slowly letting out a breath. As the ride suddenly seemed to get smoother, her body synced with the animal, (Name) grinned a real grin.  
_Welcome to Thorin’’s company, (Name)._  
~  
After about an hour or so of riding, (Name)’s backside was sore, and her stomach was churning from the rocking motion of the pony. Her eyes were tired of the view of constant trees, bushes, dirt path, and pony rumps.  
“Oi, Oin!” a dwarf with a braided and umber colored beard suddenly called out. “You almost let me forget! Pay up, go on!” (Name) watched as Oin, a dwarf with a gray beard that had two braids that stuck upwards defying gravity, tossed a small pouch over his shoulder.  
Identical pouches started flying through the air, and some of the recipients laughed aloud, like they were teasing the others.  
“What’s that about?” (Name) questioned the wizard now next to her. Gandalf lifted an eyebrow. “Oh, they took wagers on whether Mr. Baggins would show up or not. Most of them bet that he wouldn’t.”  
“What did you bet?” the girl asked, curious. Gandalf shot her a look as he fished out a sack of money and threw it to the same dwarf that Oin had.  
“Ah.” (Name) looked ahead.  
~  
In the following hours, (Name) would’ve been plagued by boredom if it weren’t for the beautiful landscapes. The dwarves passed by the greenest hills that she had ever seen, and her (e/c) colored eyes grew to try to take in all the details. Wild horses grazed in the meadows, completely unbothered by the troop of loud dwarves (and a wizard, and a hobbit). More forests were ahead, and their leaves and flowers showered gently down on the passing company. (Name) smiled as a white blossom tucked itself perfectly into her (h/c) hair.  
Finally, as the sun shrank into the horizon, the group settled on a patch of higher ground to camp. Most of the dwarves plopped down and instantly fell asleep, including Thorin. (Name) leaned against a shelf of rock, unable to go to sleep. She watched as Gloin snores loudly, sucking in tiny insects and then blowing them back out. When the sight finally got too disgusting, she looked away.  
All of a sudden, the shrillest and wildest scream (Name) had ever heard pierced the silence, causing her to clap her hands over her ears in fear. “Wha-what is-” she started to yell, interrupted by more similar screams. Eyes wide with fear, the girl looked to the dwarves for an answer.  
“Orcs,” a dwarf with shorter black hair answered calmly, although there seemed to be a flash of something in his eyes. At the mention of the word, Thorin immediately startled awake.  
“O-Orcs?” (Name) repeated, confused and terrified at the same time.  
“Throat-cutters,” another dwarf with blond locks and similar looks to the first continued. _Fili and Kili,_ the teen recalled from stray conversation she had overheard. _Wait, concentrate on the throat cutting part!_ “There'll be dozens of them out there. The lowlands will be crawling with them.”  
“Will they h...hurt us?” (Name) faltered.  
“Aye,” Kili grinned. “They strike in the wee small hours, when everyone’s asleep. Quick and quiet! No screams, just a whole lot of blood.” The girl’s face turned a ghostly white, and the siblings chuckled. “Ready to go home now, gi-” Fili started to say, but was interrupted by the rumbling voice of Thorin.  
“You think that's funny? You think a night raid by orcs is a joke?” he boomed, causing (Name) to shrink back.  
“We didn't mean anything by it,” Kili shrugged, a little less surely.  
“No, you didn't,” the leader of the group snapped. “You know nothing of the world.” And with that, he got up, walked right past (Name), and stood at the edge of the valley, looking out at the horizon.  
“Don't mind him, laddie,” the white bearded dwarf, Balin, sadly smiled at Kili. “He has more reason than most to hate orcs.” And with that, the old creature launched into a story, which (Name) listened intently to. He spoke of a bloody battle between dwarves and orcs, both trying to reclaim the lost city of Erebor, of both the kings being lost, of the courage of a young Thorin as he cut off Azog’s, the Pale Orc, arm. (Name)’s (e/c) tinted eyes widened with every word until they barely looked like they wouldn’t fit on her face.  
“And I thought to myself then,” Balin concluded, “there was one who I could follow. There was one who I could call king.” The very dwarf turned from the edge of the valley. (Name) turned as well to find all the dwarves awake and staring at Thorin in awe. She looked back just in time to see Thorin crack a small smile - the first time she had seen him do so. The girl smiled as well, but as soon as Thorin’s blue eyes met her (e/c) ones, the smile disappeared on his face. _Oh well, I tried…_  
 _~_  
Droplets of water fell from the gray clouds that made up the sky, soaking (Name)’s clothes and plastering her (h/c) colored locks to her forehead. At first the drizzle had been pleasant, but it soon turned into a large storm, completed with distant thunder roaring in the background.  
“Here, Mister Gandalf,” a dwarf that seemed to have the shortest beard out of all of them called out. “Can't you do something ‘bout this deluge?”  
“It is raining, Mister Dwarf,” the tall wizard replied briskly, no doubt his mood also soured by the heavy storm, “and it will continue to rain until the rain ceases. If you wish to change the weather of the world, I suggest you find yourself another wizard.”  
“Are there others?” (Name) interrupted him, curious.  
“Others…?” Gandalf glanced the girl’s way in a manner that made her shrink in her saddle.  
“Others like you - other wizards,” (Name) clarified, not fond of the look that she was being given.  
“Yes, there are.” Gandalf answered in an offhand manner. “There are five of us. The greatest of our order is Saruman the White. Then there are two Blue wizards, who've names I've forgotten.”  
“And who is the fifth?” (Name) pushed.  
“Well, that would be Radagast the Brown.”  
“Is he a great wizard? Or is he more like….” The (e/c) eyed teen halted in her tracks, one word away from insulting the great wizard who already didn't like her very much. “I think he’s a very great wizard, in his own way. He’s a gentle soul who prefers the company of animals to others. He keeps a watchful eye over the vast forest lands to the East, and a good thing too, for always Evil will look to find a foothold in this world.”  
“Recently, he has been investigating some strange occurrences in his patch of the woods. Last time we talked, he told me that evil and dark magic could’ve been involved…”  
As Gandalf talked, (Name) tried to picture the wizard in her head. She came up with a scruffy looking man sporting a dirty brown cloak running through the forest-  
“And he rides this sleigh, pulled by his six favorite rabbits…” (Name) barely held in her snort. _How do six rabbits pull a grown man more than a hundred pounds?_  
The group continued on, sticking to the barely worn dirt path as Gandalf described his wizard friend. They didn’t notice the soft scuttling noises to their left and right as small animals fled something ahead of them.  
~  
The ponies ahead of (Name) halted at an old and abandoned farmhouse, cobwebs and dust covering every open surface. “We’ll camp here for the night,” Thorin declared, dismounting his pony. The sun had sunk well below the horizon already. “Fili, Kili, look after the ponies. Make sure you stay with them.”  
Most of the dwarves had left their ponies when Gandalf finally dismounted. “A farmer and his wife once stayed here,” he stated.  
“Oin, Gloin, get a fire going,” Thorin ordered the duo, ignoring the wizard.  
“I think it would be wiser to move on,” Gandalf continued, adjusting his hat so that the point stuck straight up in the air. “We could make for the Hidden Valley.”  
“I have told you, I will not go near that place,” Thorin rumbled, his back still to Gandalf and (Name) as he dragged a bundle from his pony.  
“Why not? The elves could help us. We could get food, rest, advice.”  
“I do not need their advice.”  
(Name) looked left and right to find that she was the only one paying attention to the argument, everyone else setting up camp.  
“We have a map that we cannot read. Lord Elrond will help us.”  
“Help? A dragon attacks Erebor, what help came from the Elves? Orcs plunder Moria, desecrate our sacred halls, the Elves looked on and did nothing. You ask me to seek out the very people who betrayed my grandfather and betrayed my father.”  
“You are neither of them! I did not give you that map and key to hold on to the past.”  
“I did not know that they were yours to keep!” Thorin snapped. At that, Gandalf turned in (Name)’s direction and stormed away.  
“Uh, Mr. Gandalf,” the girl started, “is everything okay-?”  
“Everything,” the wizard briskly scowled behind his long white beard, “is perfect. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must seek the company of the only one here who’s got any sense!”  
(Name) lifted an (h/c) colored eyebrow. “And who would that be?”  
“Myself! Now, go make yourself useful!” And with that, he marched off into the woods.  
Noticing the presence of someone behind her, (Name) turned around to find Balin. “Is he,” she started, worried, “is he coming back?”  
“Miss, don’t worry, he will,” Balin replied, his smile noticeably shaky and uncertain.  
~  
(Name) swallowed a spoonful of tasteless and chunky soup. Her bowl was half empty, quickly gobbled up in the five minutes after Bombur, the only dwarf who could cook, had made it. Even though it wasn’t the most appetizing, the girl quickly slurped the rest down, having been without her usual snacks. Noticing that there were only 13 others eating, she commented, “Gandalf’s been gone a long time.”  
“He’s a wizard! He can do what he pleases,” a dwarf with a - no, his name was Bofur - replied, placing his bowl on the growing stack. Grabbing two others that were filled with fresh soup, he stacked them in (Name)’s arm. “‘Ere, go be useful, and take this to the lads.”  
(Name) shot him a look, unappreciative of being called unuseful twice already. She made eye contact with Balin, the only one out of all of Thorin’s company who seemed nice. He nodded understandingly.  
The girl made her way to the darkness of the forest surrounding the old barn, searching for the sibling dwarves. Finally, she found them, staring out at the group of ponies they were guarding. “Uh, Fili? Kili?” she started hesitantly. “I brought soup?” There was no answer, just a look between the two. “What’s wrong?” (Name) continued.  
“We’re supposed to be guarding the ponies, aye?” Fili started.  
“Well, we’ve run into a sliiiight problem,” Kili continued.  
“We had sixteen before.”  
“But now there are only fourteen. Daisy and Bungo are missing.”  
(Name) choked on her snort smoothly. “B-Bungo?”  
Kili took on a defensive look. “Don’t tease the lad! He’s the best pony out of all of them!”  
“Well, shouldn’t you tell Thorin or something?”  
“Uhh,” Fili coughed. “No, let’s not worry him.”  
(Name) noticed a playful spark enter Kili’s eyes.  
“(Name), how ‘bout, to prove yourself worthy of the spot of burglar, you help us look into it?” he questioned, putting an arm around the girl’s shoulders. (Name)’s expression instantly morphed into one of confidence. “Yeah, yeah, I can do that,” she stated, looking around for any clues or signs of danger. The first thing she noticed was the path of uprooted trees.  
“Uprooted trees,” she said, pointing.  
“Ah, Fili, I think we’ve got a genius on our hands,” Kili joked.  
“I had the same idea, Kili,” Fili played along. (Name) scowled, determined on proving herself. “Something big took the ponies and blundered along in that direction,” she continued, louder. “Something big, big and dangerous-”  
“I see a light!” Fili yelled, interrupting the girl. He dashed in the direction of the uprooted trees, quickly followed by his brother. After staring after them a moment, (Name) quickly followed, trying not to spill the soup she still held in both hands. Her footsteps barely made a sound as she crept up to the log where Fili and Kili were hiding.  
(Name) squinted, trying to make out the shapes in the darkness. Only once the light flickered and spurted sparks did she notice it was a fire. Harsh and barking laughter filled the air.  
“Wha- what is it?” she asked quietly, (e/c) colored eyes wide.  
“Trolls,” Fili responded calmly. He then proceeded to jump over the log, followed by his brother. (Name) ran after them, but something clicked in her mind. She quickly returned and set down the two now-cold bowls of stew, then took off again.  
Ducking behind a tree adjacent to Fili and Kili, (Name) looked out at the source of light, only to whip right back again, eyes squeezed closed. _Those creatures are the ugliest things I’ve ever seen! And the biggest!_ Forcing her eyes open, she whisper-yelled, “I think they’re going to eat the ponies, we’ve got to do something!”  
“Yes, I think you _should_ do something,” Kili grinned playfully. “Mountain trolls are big and stupid and slow, and you’re tiny and fast.” (Name)’s expression immediately turned into one of terror.  
“Oh, no, no no no,” she said, eyes wide. “No no no nononono.”  
“They’ll never see you.”  
“No no no no no no no...”  
“We’ll be right behind you!”  
“No no no no no no no…”  
“If you run into trouble,” Fili instructed, “hoot twice like a barn owl and once like a brown owl.” With that, the siblings pushed (Name) out in the direction of the trolls. She stumbled, but quickly regained her footing. “Wha- guys?!” she whispered. “What was it - once like a brown owl, twice, no, once like a barn owl…” The girl’s (e/c) tinted orbs scanned the forest behind her, but the dwarves were nowhere in sight.  
“Mutton yesterday, mutton today, and blimey if it don’t look like mutton again tomorrow!” (Name) was startled out of her wits by the loud and rumbling complaints. She whirled around to see one of the mountain trolls lift a huge arm and scratch his potato-like head.  
“Quit yer griping!” another of the creatures retorted. “These ain’t sheep, these is West Nags!”  
“Oh, I don’t like ‘orse,” the third troll commented. “I never ‘ave. Not enough fat on them.”  
“Well, it’s better than the leathery old farmer. All skin and bone, he was. I’m still picking bits of him out of me teeth.” (Name) winced.  
The troll stirring the pot that was propped up over the fire sneezed, spewing spit and mucus into it. He wiped his nose with an ugly and fat arm.  
“Oh, that’s lovely, a floater.”  
“Might improve the flavor.”  
“Ah, there’s more where that came from!” He started to sneeze again, but the troll sitting next to him grabbed him roughly by the nose. (Name), taking the opportunity, dashed behind them to where the ponies were tied.  
“Oh no you don’t!” The bigger ogre threw the cooking troll down. Ignoring his cries of pain, (Name) peered at the knots binding the animals. They seemed clumsily tied at first, but she was unsuccessful when she tugged at them. The girl looked desperately at the scary creatures around the fire.  
“I’m starvin’! Are we ‘aving ‘orse tonight or what?”  
“You eat what I give you, and you be grateful ‘bout it!”  
The skinny troll (compared to the others - he was still fat) reached for his handkerchief, and that’s when (Name) noticed the pocket knife tucked into his belt. Unable to untie the knots by hand, she crept away from the ponies and made for the knife. The trolls continued arguing loudly as (Name) made her way around the fattest troll, keeping a wide berth.  
“Good, ‘innit?” the cooking troll asked as the other two tasted the stew. (Name) held down her gag reflex as she reached the pocket knife. Grabbing the handle with both hands, she started to tug, only for the troll to stand up and scratch his bottom. Disgusted, the girl reeled back a couple steps until he sat down again. Shaking her head to rid herself of the sight, she ran forwards again.  
“Ah...Ahc... _Ahh…_ ” The troll started making the tell-tale noise of a sneeze coming on, and (Name) didn’t realize what was happening until his giant arm reached for a handkerchief. Even when she did, it was too late. The creature’s meaty fist wrapped around the girl’s tiny body and lifted her into the air. With a shriek of terror, (Name) quickly wriggled out of the troll’s sausage fingers and wrapped her arms around his thumb.  
“Arghh! Blimey, Bert! Bert!” the troll yelled. “Look what I got! It’s got arms an’ legs an’ everything!” All the other trolls waddled over to take a glimpse of the strange creature. (Name) just clutched the cooking troll’s thumb like her life depended on it, which it did. The fall from this height would probably break something seriously.  
“Can we eat it? What are you?” the fat troll asked (Name), peering at her.  
“I - uh -” was all the girl managed to squeak.  
“What’d it say?” he asked the troll next to him, who shrugged.  
“We can try boiling it,” he commented. The hobbit shook her head furiously.  
“No, no, no boiling, nope!” she cried.  
“I don’t like ‘ow it’s clinging to my finger, blimey! It’s tight!” The hand (Name) was holding onto shook furiously, and she dug her nails into the crusty finger. “It’s not coming off!” Despite the girl’s efforts, when her head crashed into the troll’s pointer finger, she lost her grip and was sent flying to the ground.  
She hit the grass hard, sending a lightning bolt of pain down her spine. A sound like an intake of breath came from the bush next to her, although she had no time to consider it. One of the troll’s - was he Bert? - hands slammed down on her, keeping her in place.  
“W-wait! Wait wait wait!” she yelled desperately, barely noticing her continued repetition of words. “You can’t just _boil_ me! It’s a huge mistake!”  
“And why ‘ould that be?” the cooking troll asked.  
“Because- because hobbits taste _terrible_ if they’re boiled!”  
The trolls traded looks.  
“And plus,” (Name) continued, keeping up her façade, “I’m not even a fully grown hobbit! Imagine all those bo- those bones when you’re trying to have a proper meal! Nope, I wouldn’t waste your time on me.”  
“What ‘ould you know ‘bout cooking ‘obbits?”  
“I am one, am I not?” (Name) chuckled nervously. A sound like a snort came from the same bush behind her, and the girl shot it a look. _Is someone behind it?_  
“We never tasted hobbit before,” Bert stated. “We should probably try, no?” (Name)’s face turned a shade grayer. “W-well, if you really must,” she started hesitantly. “Y-you should know this first..”  
“What?” the cooking troll questioned.  
“It’s a secret method...of c-cooking hobbits…” The gears in (Name)’s mind were whirling at full speed.  
“Just tell us already!”  
“You need to... _salt and pepper them first!”_  
“What’s salt?”  
That wasn’t the reaction she was expecting.  
“It’s….it’s a condiment! To make things….saltier!”  
“Saltier?”  
“More delicious!”  
“Where do we find it?”  
“It...uh..can be found...on trees! I saw some in that direction!” Freeing one of her hands from Bert’s loosening grip, (Name) pointed in the opposite direction she came from.  
“Well, what we waiting for? Let’s go!” The cooking troll took off first, causing the earth to shake with each step. The shortest troll also left, and then finally, Bert let go of (Name) to follow.  
As soon as the creatures disappeared into the forest ahead, the girl sprung up, only to double up in agony at the pain rocketing up her spine. Turning to the talking bush, she muttered, “You can come out now!”  
Kili crawled out, covered in leaves. A sheepish grin on his face, he stated, “You handled that better than we thought.”  
Fili followed. “Aye, we thought we’d have to rescue you!”  
Pride made (Name) forget about her injuries. “Oh, well, glad to see that I-”  
“There’s no _salt trees_ ‘ere!” an angry and rumbling voice hollered. “You little ‘obbit liar!”  
“Ah, darn,” Kili commented. “Almost.”  
“ _Yaaaaaah!_ ” Bert yelled, running to squish (Name) into hobbit jelly with his ginormous feet. He was intercepted by the other 11 dwarves dashing into the clearing, armed with all kinds of weapons and hacking at his tree-sized leg.  
Fili raised his sword and followed, yelling his own battle cries. Kili would’ve followed if (Name) hadn’t grabbed his arm. He turned back with a puzzled look on his face, but then the girl pointed towards the roped-off area behind the battle scene. The ponies she had been sent to free were still there, nickering and stomping their hooves.  
“Ah, right.” Kili deflated just a little bit, probably at the thought of not getting to battle the bloodthirsty trolls. Then he handed (Name) his sword and continued running to fight, disproving her original theory. (Name) sighed in exasperation. She muttered under her breath.  
“Heaven save me from the war-crazed minds of dwar- EAGGH!!” She would’ve continued her complaints if not for the giant foot that crashed down right next her, making her leap off to the side. Landing on her stomach, another jolt of pain shot through her. Kili’s sword landed about a foot away, but was quickly kicked away by one of the other dwarves.  
(Name) quickly scrambled to her feet and chased after the weapon, weaving through the crowd of dwarves and trolls. Her eyes caught the glint of the blade of a sword near a dwarf’s boot and instantly dove for the hilt. Her fingers latched onto the very edge of it, and she pulled it closer. “Ha ha!” she triumphantly cried, standing up and pointing the blade into the air, most definitely holding it wrong.  
Spotting an opening in the crowd, (Name) ran through it towards the ponies, legs pumping as quickly as possible. No one was guarding the whickering animals, troll or dwarf alike. As soon as she reached them, (Name) swung Kili’s sword, slicing right through the thick ropes keeping them bound to the tree. The ponies started galloping right back in the direction of the camp, and their loud neighs of freedom alerted the trolls.  
“Oi, you!” the cooking troll yelled, getting closer with every stomp. “That’s our dinner!” He reached out a hand, and (Name) scrambled backwards. She would’ve been snatched up if a booming voice hadn’t announced, “You will all be taken by the dawn!”  
Everyone turned to the source of the voice, to find Gandalf with his staff standing on top of a large rock shadowing the clearing. “Who’s that?” one of the trolls asked stupidly. “Can we eat ‘im?” _How did he get up there if he has a cane- or staff or whatever? Oh wait, he’s a wizard..._  
As an answer, Gandalf thumped the bottom of his staff against the rock. Somehow, a large crack spread through it, cutting it in half. The smaller half (that Gandalf wasn’t on) began to fall, sending rays of sunlight into the clearing. (Name) had to squint to keep her eyes on the wizard, but she was soon distracted by the loud and piercing shriek of a troll.  
“Blimey!! My toes!” And indeed, there appeared to be something strange happening to his toes. Instead of the muddy swamp color they were previously, a stone grey spread up his legs. The other two trolls started yelling in high-pitched and frantic voices as well, shattering what would’ve been peaceful silence in the hours of the dawn.  
“My fingers!!”  
“My nose!!”  
“I’m turning to rock!”  
The words were soon replaced by unreadable howls of agony, which seemed to go on forever. The dwarves seemed unaffected - they just watched with blank faces and wiped the troll blood off their weapons.  
Abruptly, all the sounds stopped. (Name), realizing she had clapped her hands over her ears, stood up straight. The fire which had been burning between the trolls had sizzled to ashes, and three stone statues that were at least five times her height towered over the company.  
Gandalf nimbly leapt off the large rock and glided down to the ground. _Don’t be so surprised, silly, he's a wizard._ “Where did you go, if I may ask?” Thorin inquired.  
“To look ahead,” Gandalf simply stated, brushing his staff off.  
“What brought you back?”  
“Looking behind. Nasty business. Still, at least they’re all in one piece.”  
“No thanks to the burglar,” (Name) couldn’t help overhearing Thorin mutter.  
“She had the sense to play for time,” the girl heard Balin interject. Her chest swelled with pride. “None of the rest of us could’ve thought of that. She had skills enough to not be eaten.”  
There was a silence, and (Name) decided that she was safe as a member of the company, at least for now. She started to wander off, glancing up at the huge statues, only to be called back by Thorin.  
“Everyone! Follow me!” The leader of the dwarves turned and entered a nearby cave that (Name) hadn’t noticed at first. The group quickly followed with no hesitation. (Name) squared her shoulders, pushed her (h/c) hair out of her eyes, and went to catch up.  
“Oh, what’s that stench?” a dwarf who (Name) was pretty sure was named Ori - wait, no, he was Nori. And indeed, a foul smell hit her nose, causing her to nearly choke and take a step back.  
“It’s a troll hoard,” Gandalf defined, starting to enter the cave. “Be careful what you touch.”  
(Name) was the last one to enter. The smell was even stronger, and she had to fight her gag reflex from kicking in. When she finally got used to the pungence, she noticed heaps of shiny yellow disks on the ground and wooden chests filled with shiny objects.  
“Seems like a shame to leave it lyin’ around,” Bofur - was it Bofur? - commented. “Anyone could just take it.”  
“Agreed,” Oin - Gloin - stated. “Nori, get me a shovel.”  
(Name) watched as the dwarves found a shovel and started to dig a hole in the rocky earth, but was distracted by a sliver of light from her left. Glancing in that direction, she spotted Thorin pick up two glimmering but cobweb encrusted swords. Their blades were a silver that gleamed through the dust, and they seemed to draw the girl towards them. Gandalf and Thorin started to talk in hushed voices, and at one point, the dwarf looked like he was about to drop them into the dirt.  
Gloin, Nori, and Bofur finished piling as much treasure as they could into a chest, then pushed it into the hole. It hit the ground with a _whump,_ and the dwarves started to shovel dirt back onto it. “We’re making a long-term deposit,” Gloin explained to Dwalin, who looked on disgustedly.  
“Let’s get out of this foul place,” Thorin ordered. “Come on, let’s go!”  
The company started to file out of the cave. (Name) spotted Gandalf’s boot brush against something shiny and metallic, but he seemed to ignore it and keep walking. She reached down and brushed the leaves off what was a sword. The metal gleamed more attractively than the other two weapons Thorin had found, and (Name)’s fingers wrapped around the hilt. She lifted, and the sword pulled out of the gunk it was stuck in. It was lighter than the girl had expected. It fit perfectly in her grip, too. _Wait till I show Mom and Dad that I’ve got a sword! And that I’ve faced off against trolls! They’ll be so proud!_  
“Something’s coming!” Thorin yelled, breaking (Name) out of her reverie.  
“Stay together, now!” Gandalf instructed. “Arm yourselves!” (Name) held up the glittering blade of what she claimed as her new sword and ran after the dwarves into the woods. She could hear the sound of many little footsteps and something quickly slithering across the bed of leaves making up the forest floor. _What kind of beast could this be?!_


	2. Sleeping Hobbit and the 13 extremely sleepy Dwarves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so wait  
> This might actually be an everyone lives fic  
> If it is, I'll change the tags  
> so   
> yeah  
> ok  
> read plz  
> (I'll just give the link to my co-creators account every chapter, btw)

When six rabbits swiftly came to a stop in front of the group, (Name) instantly knew who was responsible for the panic that had been caused. Radagast the Brown was just as she imagined, scruffy beard, strange hat and all. “Thieves!” he screamed. “Fire! Murder!”

“Radagast!” Gandalf held a hand out to his wizarding friend. “What on earth are you doing here?”

“I was looking for you, Gandalf,” the Brown wizard responded, looking quite shaken up. “Something’s wrong. Something’s terribly wrong.”

“Yes?” Gandalf concernedly asked. (Name) looked on in interest.

Radagast opened his mouth, then shut it. He opened it again to say, “Oh, just give me a minute. Oh, I had a thought, and now I’ve lost it. It was, it was right there, on the tip of my tongue.” He screwed up his face in concentration, but then a look of surprise came over him. “Well, it’s not a thought at all, it’s a silly old…”

Gandalf reached into the shorter wizard’s mouth and, with a look of disgust, pulled out a long, greenish brown bug.

“Stick insect!” Radagast finished. (Name) gagged at the declaration, and the other dwarves showed signs of unease as well. Noticing this, Gandalf pulled Radagast off to the side, and the two began to talk amongst themselves. 

Soon, watching them became boring. Most of the dwarves were talking to each other, but no one seemed fond of the idea of chatting with (Name). The wizards discussed whatever it was they were talking about in low, hushed voices, with grim looks on their faces. At one point, Gandalf offered Radagast his pipe, from which the Brown wizard took a long puff, his eyes crossing in relaxation. 

All of a sudden, a sharp howl impaled (Name)’s ears. Her (e/c) eyes shot up, glancing here and there, looking for the source. “Was that a wolf?” The girl’s words came out tangled up and in a rush. “Are there wolves nearby?:

“Wolves?” Bofur responded. “No, that was not a wolf.”

And with his words, a huge beast leapt out of a nearby crag, pouncing on Nori - or Ori - or Dori, whichever one he was. (Name) stifled a shriek as she leapt out of the way, pressing her back against a rough tree trunk. She attempted to draw her sword from her belt, but Thorin was faster. He instantly sliced into the fur of its neck, then plunged his new weapon into its chest. 

Another wolf-monster ran towards the group. Kili aimed his bow and swiftly shot an arrow at it, making it fall. However, it quickly got back to its feet, only to be knocked back down by a fatal strike from Dwalin.

“Warg scouts!” Thorin declared. “An Orc pack is not far behind!”

“Orc- Orc pack?” (Name) repeated.

“Who did you tell about your quest, apart from your kin?” Gandalf demanded.

“No one,” the black bearded dwarf shortly responded.

“Who did you tell?”

“No one, I swear. What in Durin’s name is going on?”

“You are being hunted,” Gandalf stated.

“We have to get out of here,” Dwalin called to Thorin. 

“We can’t!” Ori argued. “We have no ponies, they bolted!”

Radagast drew himself up straighter. “I’ll draw them off,” he claimed.

“These are Gundabad Wargs,” Gandalf pointed out, “they’ll outrun you!”

“These are Rhosgobel Rabbits,” Radagast grinned. “I’d like to see them try.”

And that is how Radagast, riding his rabbit sleigh, shot out of the forest yelling, “Come and get me!” He instantly attracted a group of Wargs’ attention. One barked, and then they started to chase the wizard. 

Once they disappeared on the horizon, Gandalf gestured for the group to move. “Come on!” he whispered. (Name) dashed out of their hiding spot behind a rock along with the others and sprinted across the rocky plains. In the distance, she spotted a Warg trip over its own feet in its chase. Keeping to rocks, the group made it a good 20 yards.

“Where are you taking us?” Thorin demanded Gandalf. 

“Come on!” was his only answer. Once again, the company ran to the next outcropping of rock. (Name)’s heart thumped against her ribs in an unstable pattern; her eyes were trying to scope out any nearby Wargs. Then a  _ thump _ sounded from the rock jutting out above her head, and she glanced upwards. An orc sitting upon a Warg was scanning the plains in front of him for the dwarves, unaware that they were under his feet. Thorin glanced at Kili, meeting his gaze, and he nodded. The short haired dwarf nocked an arrow and aimed it up at the Warg. He stepped out and swiftly let go of the bowstring.

With a wail of pain, the Warg fell along with the orc almost on top of (Name). She jumped to the side just before they hit the ground. The dwarves quickly descended on the monsters, killing them in a couple strikes. Gandalf hobbled off quickly towards yet another rock, then seemed to disappear. 

The howls of the Warg were loud - definitely loud enough to alert the other orcs to the group’s presence. Heads turned in the direction of the company.

“Run,  _ run!”  _ Thorin hollered, taking off in the direction that Gandalf did. The Wargs effortlessly caught up in just a couple strides, surrounding the dwarves. (Name) held up her sword, visibly shaking. “Kili! Shoot them!”

Kili followed Thorin’s directions and starting firing arrows at the wolf-beasts. “Where is Gandalf?!” he yelled.

“He has abandoned us!” Dwalin answered, hacking at another Warg. 

“Hold your ground!” Thorin ordered, just before he caught sight of a pale orc. The _ Pale Orc. _

Gandalf suddenly reappeared in the center of the chaos, almost knocking (Name) over. Shooting her a glance, he called, “This way, you fools! All of you, quickly now!” Still facing the orcs, one by one, the dwarves hopped into the little hole near the rock. Gandalf muttered numbers under his breath as he counted each dwarf, which (Name) somehow found funny. When it was her turn, the girl closed her eyes, ignoring her racing breaths, and jumped.

Smooth stone caught her, making her already bruised backside sting, and she slid down the narrow tunnel like a slide. It was pitch black and she couldn't see a thing. Holding her sword like a lifesaver, (Name) hurtled down the tunnel.

After what felt like eras of panic went by, (Name) popped out of the round hole, going flying for a moment and landing on a growing pile of dwarves. She realized that soon Thorin and Gandalf would come tumbling down, and to spare herself that embarrassment, the girl rolled off the pile. Standing up and brushing herself off, she was just in time to watch Gandalf slide out of the tunnel and somehow land on his feet, followed by Thorin.

“You're stepping on my beard,” Bifur groaned. (Name) wasn't paying attention to him, though - her attention had been stolen away by the beauty of the landscape. Below the tiny cliff that the company stood on there was a large valley. A waterfall fell from another cliff to her left, and the lake below it flowed into a river, leading into a majestic castle made of white and gold. All of it was shining brightly, as if the sun had given part of its light to this civilization itself. 

“The Valley of Imraldis,” Gandalf declared. “In the common tongue, it's known by another name.”

“Rivendell,” (Name) finished, her (e/c) colored orbs widened in awe.

“Here lies the last Homely House east of the sea,” Gandalf described.

“This was your plan all along,” Thorin rumbled, turning to the Gray wizard. “To seek refuge with our enemy.”

“You have no enemies in this valley, Thorin Oakenshield!” he retorted. “The only ill-will to be found here is of you yourself!”

“You think the elves will give our quest their blessing? They will try and stop us!”

“Of course they will. But we have questions that need to be answered. If we are to be successful, this will need to be handled with tact and respect and no small degree of charm. Which is why you will leave the talking to me.” Leaving Thorin with a mixed look of shock and anger on his face, Gandalf started to make his way down the sloping, narrow path leading to the beautiful city. Balin, who had gotten up from the bottom of the dwarf pile, shrugged at Thorin, then followed the wizard. (Name) also followed, leaving the dwarves to untangle themselves. 

Thorin and Gandalf were already halfway across when (Name) came to the edge of a stone bridge. It spanned across the lake, seemingly having no supports, but she instinctively trusted it, it somehow radiating the perfection that everything in Rivendell did. After setting one muddy boot on it, leaning forward to test her weight, the girl nearly skipped across. Her thoughts seemed lighter - her thinking unfogged. The city seemed to have a magical effect on her.

Soon, all of the dwarves had caught up. They were standing on a circular platform, a staircase in front of them. Down that staircase came a figure that (Name) figured must’ve been an elf. He had long, dark brown hair that floated down his shoulders and back, and a silver band wrapped around his forehead. His ears were pointed, like she had expected, but what she hadn’t was his height. He was as tall as Gandalf - but what was more noticeable that he towered over the dwarves (and hobbit). 

“Mithrandir,” the elf greeted. 

“Lindir!” Gandalf returned, extending his arm towards him. (Name) could see the distrust ripple through the dwarves. “Stay sharp,” she heard Thorin mutter to Balin. 

“ _ Lastannem i athrannedh i Vruinen _ ,” Lindir told Gandalf in what was probably Elvish.

“I must speak with Lord Elrond,” was the Gray wizard’s answer.

“My Lord Elrond is not here.”

“Not here? Where is he?”

Suddenly, a symphony of horns sounded, soft and delicate ones. (Name) whirled around with the rest of the company to watch a group of elves canter in on horses.

“ _ Ifridî bekâr!”  _ Thorin yelled. “Hold ranks!” 

A circle was formed by the dwarves, their weapons pointing outwards. (Name) squeezed in between Balin and Bifur, trying to pull out her sword. The horses quickly arrived at the main circle platform and circled the group. The girl stared upwards at the elves, her thoughts focused on:  _ They’re taaalll. _

Eventually, an elf with black hair separated himself from the line of creatures. “Elrond,” Gandalf greeted. The man bowed, his pointed hat retaining its place. He straightened. 

“ _ Mellonnen! Mo evínedh _ ?” Ganalf questioned. The lord sighed, and inclined his head. 

“ _ Farannem ‘lamhoth i udul o charad. Dagannem rim na Iant Vedui _ .” He dismounted his horse, and embraced the wizard in a hug. When they separated, the elf held him at arm’s length. 

“Strange for Orcs to come so near to our borders. Something, or someone has drawn them near.” He shook his head at the thought. 

“Ah.” Gandalf pulled out an orcish sword from his robes. He handed it to Lindir. He turned to the lord again. “That may have been us.” 

It seemed that Thorin was losing his patience. He stepped up to Elrond, and the elf regarded him with recognition. 

“Welcome Thorin, son of Thrain.” He greeted. The dwarf grunted. 

“I do not believe we have met.” The elvish lord raised an eyebrow. 

“You have your grandfather’s bearing. I knew Thror when he ruled under the Mountain.” This appeared to annoy Thorin. 

“Indeed; he made no mention of you.” Gandalf sighed, while (Name) groaned internally, rubbing her forehead to subdue her sudden migraine. Blast these dwarves and their stubborn pride. It did not seem to faze Elrond, though, as he ignored the insult and spoke to the elves around him, while still facing the dwarves. 

_ “Farannem ‘lamhoth i udul o charad. Dagannem rim na Iant Vedui.” _ A wave of unease passed through the dwarves, as the soldiers from before went off the deliver the order. Gloin stepped forward with a growl. 

“What is he saying? Is he offering us insult?” This troubled the company, the sound of muttering raising above the clatter of hooves. 

“No, Master Gloin, he’s offering you food.” Gandalf responded. He seemed to be imitating (Name), rubbing his temples to ebb a newly formed headache. The dwarves’ conversation increased in volume, as they discussed the idea that an elf was  _ being kind to them.  _ And  _ offering them food.  _ Gloin rose again from their small huddle with a cheery smile on his face. 

“Ah, well, in that case, lead on!”

(Name) was just about to roll her eyes at the dwarf’s stupidity when Elrond stated, “You have a girl with you.”

Her attention immediately swiveled to the elf, along with the rest of the company. His eyes were focused on her. “Gandalf, I thought you were bringing along Mr. Baggins as your burglar,” he commented.

“Ah, yes, there were some...complications.” Gandalf said this while glaring at the girl from the corner of his eyes. (Name) gulped. “And (Name) volunteered instead.” 

“If that's the case,” Elrond said, “then (Name), follow…” He then went on to say a name - or was it three names? -with a lot of “l”s and “s”s that went on for thirty seconds while gesturing at the pale hobbit. Three servants approached her, lifting her up by the arms and carrying her someplace unknown to the dwarves. 

“I-I-I-Wait!” she cried. “Waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait! S-Stop! W-what-whatwhatwhat a-ar-are y-y-you d-doing? No-doign, doing! Do-doi- Stop!” The stuttering girl kicked her feet in distress. 

Thorin just raised an eyebrow at the servants’ doings, while Gandalf puffed out a sigh. (Name) continued her nervous chattering until they disappeared around a corner, out of eye and earshot. 

A moment of silence ensued after the strange departure. 

“Look, can you just put me down now?” (Name) pleaded to the servants carrying her once they'd turned into a corridor. The elves didn’t respond, simply clutching her in the air by the arms, while the third ran off to do something. Something that hopefully had nothing to do with (Name). No. It most certainly has nothing to do with a respectable hobbit such as her.  _ Not that my neighbors would call me respectable anymore.  _

Finally, long after (Name)’s arms had started to ache, the elves put her down in front of a door. “Your room,” one said quietly, the first any of them had spoken. 

“Tha- Thank you,” the 17 year old managed to get out, “but I don’t see why that was necessary.”

Before she had finished, the servants had scurried away to carry someone else to their room, at least, that’s what (Name) sarcastically thought. She turned to the large door again, and with a breath, pushed it open. 

For whatever reason, (Name) had been expecting a bedroom just like her own, with (f/c) walls and an inviting bookshelf. No, this room wasn’t identical, but the bookshelf to her right was filled with titles that beckoned to her. The bed had a large blanket that looked fluffy and comfortable, and (Name) was near salivating at the comforts she had missed for the last couple days. She was about to take a running leap onto the mattress when she noticed her state in a mirror.

(Name) took a good look at herself for the first time in days. Her (h/c) tinted locks were usually neat and tied up, but now they were tangled and loose, sticking up from her head. The clothes she had chosen to wear back in her hobbit-hole - a long shirt, a cardigan over her arms, and simple black leggings - were dirtied with grass stains and mud, even ripped. Her gaze trailed down to her fingers, which were crusted with dirt. Even her face had smudges on her chin and forehead. Her (e/c) colored eyes were the only thing that hadn’t changed - they were still wide and innocent. With a groan, the girl recollected that her bundle of clothes had been lost when the ponies bolted back at the trolls’ campground. Desperately, she flung open a smaller door, looking for a closet. And there one was. A couple hangers held dresses that would be just a bit too big for the girl

(Name)’s eye twitched. The teen had never liked dresses, but what choice did she have? Grabbing one, she made her way to the bathroom (which she assumed was the other door), ready to soak in a hot bath until she was a wrinkly raisin, then tackle the bookshelf.

~

Thorin stood on a balcony, holding a map out, with 12 other dwarves and a wizard standing behind him. His companions watched concernedly, worried about the information Lord Elrond had just given them. His parting words were: “You are not the only guardian to stand watch over Middle Earth.” Of course they were worried.

Fili was the first to clear his mind of the haze that blocked his thoughts, and realize that only fourteen were present for the deciphering of the map. He looked around, trying to figure out who was missing. Balin was there, so was Dwalin, and Oin and Gloin, Dori, Nori, and Ori, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Kili, and Thorin and Gandalf- 

With a start of realization, Fili turned to his brother. “Hey, Kili,” he whispered. Apparently his brother hadn’t heard him over the sound of rushing water, so Fili nudged him. Kili still didn’t respond, staring at the bottom of the waterfall, hidden in mist. He wasn’t used to heights. None of the dwarves really were, since being too far away from the ground was a bit too disconcerting.  

Fili decided to take advantage of this, and pushed him rather roughly. Kili stumbled forward, but before he could yell, his brother grabbed his coat and pulled him back, laughing all the while. 

Kili fell onto his back, hitting the stone platform with a soft  _ oof _ . He curled up a little bit, the fact that he was, in fact,  _ not going to be killed by an oversized stream _ , not settling in quite yet. Fili let a smirk come to his face, one that was quickly wiped off when he noticed that all the other dwarves were staring at him. He started sweating a bit, since nearly pushing your brother off a cliff could change someone’s opinion of you quite easily. Then he noticed that Thorin’s back was still turned to them, so he let out a small breath. The rest of the dwarves turned away, albeit cautiously, and returned to their previous chatter. 

“What,” Kili muttered, getting to his feet, “in hellfire,” he brushed off the dust on his pants, “was THAT?!” 

“ _ That  _ was you not listening,” Fili retorted. “I had to get your attention somehow, brother.” he sniffed. 

“Well, what is the so important thing you wanted to  _ get my attention _ for?!” 

“Haven’t you noticed that someone is missing?” Fili gestured to the crowd around the siblings. Kili immediately started to count, not even bothering with names. “Nope,” he stated once he finished. 

Fili used his pointer finger and his thumb to flick Kili in the head. “No, stupid,” he started, “(Name).” The blond haired dwarf waited for a reaction.

“What, the elves have kidnapped her?” Kili questioned.

“Girlnapped?”

“Hobbitnapped?”

“Hobbitnapped?” Balin repeated, turning to face the siblings. “What on earth are you talking about?”

“(Name),” Kili answered. “We haven't seen her for the last couple hours.”

“And you think she's been ‘hobbitnapped’?”

“Basically.”

Balin had a slightly worried expression. “I’ll see if any of the others have seen (Name),” he stated.

The whisper traveled throughout the dwarves. Balin turned to Dwalin, who mentioned it to Oin, and soon every dwarf was discussing where they’d last seen the hobbit. Their chatter got louder, loud enough that Thorin turned.  He raised an eyebrow. 

“What,” he started, getting the attention of the entire company, “exactly is the matter? I don’t suppose you’ve spotted a hoard of treasure? Or and elvish battalion on it’s way to subdue us? Either way, It is most unwise to keep such things from me.”

“Ah, no, Thorin,” Balin responded. “It's (Name).”

“What about her?”

“Well, we haven't seen her for the last couple hours…”

“So are you suggesting that the elves have something to do with it?” Thorin was instantly lost to his thought. “Then we must question them immediately.”

Balin stifled a sarcastic sigh, fully aware that the only reason that Thorin would do anything was to blame the elves for one more thing.

Gandalf interrupted, startling a couple who weren't aware he was still there. “If we must, you shouldn't go,” he muttered. “I will go to the elves with Balin, and the rest of you can look for (Name).”

Raising an eyebrow at Gandalf at his cooperativeness, Balin nodded. The dwarves started streaming into the too-tall entrance into the castle of Rivendell.

~

           After soaking in a bath for what was probably much too long and putting on the dress she chose, (Name) took a good look at the bookshelf. Some of the titles she recognized from her own collection, and some were written in Elvish. Most, however, were in the common tongue, unknown to the girl. She picked out a large book, good for hours of reading, and hopped on the bed, cracking open the cover.

Five chapters flew by easily, and (Name) would’ve kept going if not for the soft knock on her door. Sitting up, she wasn’t sure whether to invite them in or go answer the door, so she did both. Setting down her book, she quickly paced to the door. “Come in,” she called, arriving at the door and pulling it open. 

      The third servant from before stood in front of (Name). “Dinner is ready,” she stated somewhat meekly, still seeming elegant and graceful while doing so. (Name) nodded, just a little glad that she’d be able to meet with the dwarves again. She opened the door fully and stepped out, the (f/c) fabric of her dress trailing slightly behind her. Shooting it a glance, the girl followed the servant. 

They entered a large hall with an equally large table, with grand and high ceilings and light coming from a mysterious source. It was also quiet and dead empty. “Are the dwarves going to be coming?” (Name) questioned, instantly answered by her own echo. 

“No,” was the answer, “they’ve already eaten.”

“Well, why am I not with them?” (Name) continued, a slight trickle of suspicion and fear rolling across her mind. 

“Why would you want to eat with them anyways?” The (h/c) haired teen turned, not expecting the question. 

“Well,” she started, “I mean, I was just wondering.” (Name) fidgeted with her unnecessarily-long-sleeves-that-were-most-certainly-not-made-with-hobbit-proportions-in-mind. 

“You should consider yourself lucky,” the servant commented. “They were outraged at our lack of meat.” (Name) snorted quietly, and hid a small smile behind her hand. Of course, it was stupid to think dwarves were capable of being polite for a change. 

“There was this one specific dwarf,” she went on, “that had a very large and orange beard. He broke one of our benches!” (Name) laughed outright at that. Her shoulders were shaking and she had to hold onto a chair for a few moments. The elf simply stared at her, wondering what possibly could have been so funny. 

After (Name) calmed down, she turned to face the she-elf. 

“Y-you-,” she chuckled a bit more, “you’re talking about B-Bombur.” The hobbit snorted. After a moment of silence, with the woman taking in (Name)’s reaction. The teen coughed awkwardly. 

“Alright, I guess it’s time to eat,” she murmured. She shuffled over to the seat - and after a bit of climbing the too-tall chair, and refusals to any help whatsoever - she sat down at the table. 

She looked everywhere, except the lady. To be honest, (Name) was a bit embarrassed about her outburst. Surely the elf was so befuddled she decided not to even bother with the girl. (Name) stared at her plate, considering whether she should say something or not. 

“I’ll leave you to it,” the servant said, most likely feeling just as awkward. She slid away into the shadows, probably to bring the food in. A sigh escaping her lips, (Name) stared at the blank and unmarred white surface of the table.

~

“We’re going to split up into three groups,” Thorin ordered after the sun had sunk well below the horizon. “Four in each. I will take Fili, Kili, and…Bombur.”

He looked at the group of dwarves, who had already broken off into the groups he had told them to. Bombur was the only one standing without a group. With a sigh, Thorin waved him over. 

“You,” he declared, pointing to Dwalin’s group, “will take the halls leading left. And you,” he pointed at Oin’s group, “will take the right. We will take the lower level hallways.”

Without a single sign that they had listened to him, the dwarves took off in the wrong directions. Thorin sighed again, then followed Fili and Kili and Bombur down a staircase. 

It was made with the height of elves considered - the dwarves’ heads only reached the silver railing. They didn’t need it, though, they just raced down the stairs. Boots thumping and staining the wooden floor, they reached the first door.

Thorin half expected to see a grimy and badly kept prison cell when they smashed a random door open, but inside was just a guest room with a neatly made bed. He sighed internally. Honestly, it was nearly impossible to search for one of the smallest creatures in Middle Earth when inside a huge elven fortress. They might never find (Name), at least not in one night. 

He stepped back, and scanned the expanse of the hallway, while Fili and Kili combed the room, seeing if the hobbit was in the bathroom or a closet. Thorin had no idea why (Name) would be in the closet at all, and couldn’t really understand why his nephews thought this. 

The would-be-king wandered down the hall, picking out doors he felt (Name) might be behind. He decided to trust his gut feeling on this one, figuring it couldn’t really hurt. When he turned back around, Kili, Fili, and Bombur had already broken through two more doors and scoured the rooms. Thorin ran some numbers in his head.

Three rooms in around 20 minutes, that could pose a problem. He looked down the hall again. There could be more than a hundred in just this hall. A hundred times 20 meant ... a couple hours searching.

Why was he even doing this again? Looking for (Name)? Couldn’t he have sent the dwarves to look for him? Oh right - to get up into Gandalf’s face and prove that the elves were an enemy. High elf or wood elf, Thorin was convinced they were all traitors to the dwarves.

A bang startled the dwarf out of his thoughts, and he whirled around, pulling Orcist out of his belt only to find Kili had kicked another door open. 

“We are supposed to be  _ quiet!”  _ Thorin hissed, resheathing his sword. Kili just gave him a thumbs up as he and the other two entered the room. Fili scrambled after him with a grin, and Bombur just sat down and dug into a chicken leg. Where did he get that? 

Thorin shook his head. He spun around on his heel, and picked the lock on one of the doors. Of course he could pick locks. Dwarves were masters of metal. If a dwarf wasn’t adept enough at the craft to even pick a simple keylock, they were seen as a shame. 

He opened the door after a few seconds of fiddling, and searched the room. Nothing. He closed the door quietly, and faced his nephews and Cook. The brothers were practically climbing over each other, trying to get to the next door. While Bombur just waddled behind them, his chicken leg gone, replaced with a… T-Bone steak? By Mahal, where was he keeping his food? 

Another  _ Bang _ made Thorin practically leap out of his skin. He whipped around and accidentally hit Kili on the head with his sheathed sword. 

Multiple bruises, curses and ice (another thing Bombur had hid on his person. Thorin was starting to find this a bit disturbing) later, they were ready to start searching again. Fili peered down the hall, an exhausted look on his face. 

“We’re gonna have to search through _all_ _of those doors_ …” He muttered under his breath. 

It seemed the rest of the group shared his sentiments, as a daunting air hovered over the hall. Thorin sighed. He stood up and grunted.

“We better get started then.” He started walking down the hall.

 

            ~Timeskip~

 

The dwarves stared at the what could have been the 50th, or the 1000th door. The company certainly didn’t seem to care anymore. Fili had an almost dead look in his eye, while his brother was practically drooling on his shoulder, half asleep. Bombur lay spread-eagle on the ground, and face-planted into the carpeted floor. Thorin was trying his damndest to stand up straight, and not close his eyes, but he failed miserably. His eyes were half-lidded, and he was leaning on his sword heavily, trying not to fall asleep. 

The group had finished the first hallway, and this was around the twentieth door in the second one. Fili stiffened for a moment, remembering he was supposed to be looking for the small hobbit girl. He clapped his hands, and all of the other dwarves started from their stupor with a groan. 

Kili’s eyes snapped open, and tried not to cry from how tired he was. Bombur lifted his head from the ground, but slammed it back down again. Thorin nearly fell down, the loud clap shocking his brain like a lightning bolt. He quickly grabbed his sword (if you could call his sluggish, sleepy movements swift), and weakly tried to swing it at whatever threat was upon them. 

Of course, it was only Fili, Kili and Bombur in the hall, but Thorin was nearing the point where he couldn’t tell what was real and what wasn’t. He cursed under his breath and groaned. 

“We’ll…uh…” Thorin paused, forgetting what he was going to say. He started to nod off, but Fili snapped his fingers next to his uncle’s ear. Thorin stifled a shriek, but quickly regained his composure. He massaged his eyes. 

“We’ll look in this last room… and… uhm… we’ll take a… a res- a break.” Kili sobbed with relief. Bomber slowly sat up, groaning all the while. Fili, with the most lucid mind at the time, headed over to the door. He had quickly switched tactics when breaking through the doors, as had his brother. They would quickly get tired if they broke down the doors, so they decided to pick the locks like their uncle. 

The door slowly creaked open, a crack of light lit up the dark hallway, filling the dwarves with a small bit of hope. Could it be? Were they done searching? Kili surged forward and pushed the door open frantically, hoping beyond hope that they were done and he could get some sleep. 

There, sat a teenage hobbit. The lamp was still lit, and a book sat in her lap, still open. A pair of reading glasses slowly slipping off her face (she found them in a drawer), she appeared to have dozed off while reading. 

“(Name)! (Name), thank Mahal!” Kili ran forward and belly-flopped on the bed. Hearing her name being called so loudly, and being jostled by the sudden visitor in her bed, she woke up with a yelp, her (e/c) eyes snapping open. She let out a little shriek, not unlike the one Thorin would have made, and jumped a foot in the air. 

Her book flew out of her hands, landing on the floor with a  _ thump.  _ It landed in an awkward position, bending the pages in a cringe-worthy manner, and making (Name) lose her place. 

“Ah….Kili?!” (Name) exclaimed, rubbing her eyes. The dwarf had started snoring, already asleep. Bombur waddled in and leaned against the bookshelf, yawning. Fili followed, wobbly on his legs but still standing. “(Name), we’ve been searching all night for you,” he stated sleepily. 

“Uh...thanks?” the girl hesitantly said. She took off the reading glasses and put them on the side table, then reached for the book on the floor. Kili suddenly snored loudly, startling her and making her fall off the bed. The dwarf rolled over, taking up the whole mattress. 

“I guess he’s sleeping here,” another voice rumbled. (Name) turned to see Thorin in the doorway. 

“Ah… Thorin! I didn’t think you would be that interested in looking for me…” (Name) stared at the sleeping dwarves for a moment. “Or them, for that matter.” With a tiny start of surprise, (Name) realized that they had been awake for almost 48 hours, due to the trolls from the day before.

“We had to search for hours. We were sure you were being kept prisoner,” was the response.

“In a prison,” added Fili.

“With no food,” mumbled Bombur. (Name) turned to Thorin, who stared at the girl for a moment, his eyes becoming a bit glassy. It seemed like he was about to fall asleep again. Fili clapped his hands, and Thorin jolted awake again. The blond dwarf sighed.

“Why don’t you rest in here for the night?” (Name) suggested. “You look like- nevermind, you  _ are  _ falling asleep on your feet.”

“Yes please!” Fili groaned, trying to push Kili off the tiny bed. “No fair, Kili usually gets the comfier sleeping spot...”

“You’re going to have to deal with it,” (Name) groaned, trying to figure out how to make the cold and hard ground more comfortable. “That's supposed to be my bed.”

Bombur just wobbled, then collapsed next to the wooden shelves, fast asleep. Thorin was obviously trying his best not to do the same thing. “First thing in the morning, we leave,” he tried to grumble, but was interrupted by a yawn he tried to stifle. 

“I’m leaving the candles lit,” the girl stated, noticing the melting wax but too tired to get up. No response but a snore from Kili. Thorin dropped his things on the floor, then lay down himself.

“Night,” (Name) murmured, the last thing she saw flickering and orange flames. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.wattpad.com/489856452-an-unexpected-hobbit-reader-insert-my-neighbor-is/page/10
> 
> *sigh*  
> Not the best week for me.


	3. Hey, This Cave Looks Alright!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I give thanks...  
> To thanksgiving break. Enjoy.

“Get up!”

“Nuuuuh…” (Name) mumbled.

“Get up!”

“ _ Nuuuuuh…”  _

“We have to leave  _ now _ !”

(Name) sat up with a start, pushing her (h/c) locks out of her eyes. In front of her were three fully awake and fully dressed dwarves, ready to leave. “Oh, I'm late,” was all that the girl could mumble.

“Yes, you are,” Thorin grumbled in what she recognized as a sarcastic tone as (Name) stood up. Then she realized her condition. “Wait a second, I don’t have any proper clothes!” She looked down to see the gold designs on her neckline and the waterfall of (f/c) fabric. 

The other dwarves seemed to finally notice this as well, but Thorin just said, ”Borrow Fili or Kili’s clothes.”

“What? They're probably too b-”

“Would you rather borrow Bombur’s?”

“ _ No.” _

“Exactly.”

Five minutes later, a quick changing time for a hobbit, (Name) was dressed in Kili’s tunic and pants, with a belt at her waist to keep her sword in. Even though the clothes were baggy and too big, the girl felt comfortable in something that wasn't a dress (and actually matched with her large boots).

“Finally!” Fili exclaimed. “Let's go!”

“What?! That was a short-”

The dwarves were already out the door.

As the group walked down the hall they (hopefully) came from, (Name) wondered aloud, “Where are the others?”

“They split up to look for you,” Fili responded. “We decided on a meeting place if any of us get lost - the main entrance where we first came in.” The girl nodded in understanding, tugging the ends of her tunic. A hand grabbed hers, and her head shot up. 

Blue eyes stared back at her (e/c) ones. Fili looked down at her, grinning. He gently pulled her towards where she supposed the main entrance was. She was a bit confused at first, and kept her position. Someone pushed her slightly, and she stumbled forward a bit. She looked back, seeing Kili also trying to guide her to the entrance. 

“Uhh…” (Name) mumbled, going along with whatever the siblings were doing and stepping towards the entrance. Thorin and Bombur were already outside, not noticing what was going on. 

(Name) stumbled forward into the sunlight that greatly outshone the dim lights of inside. Once her eyes adjusted, she spotted a large group of dwarves waiting in the center of the courtyard. Then she noticed that there was no wizard sized-shape looming over them. “Where's Gandalf...?” (Name) ventured, a little afraid to ask.

“He’s not coming,” Thorin stated plainly, although the girl took it as ‘ _ We’re leaving him behind.’  _  The company turned at the sound of their voices, yelling in both frustration and celebration at the sight of (Name). 

A bag flew by (Name)’s head, landing in Kili’s palm. Another flew in front of her face, followed by one more. All three landed in the hands of Fili, Bombur and Thorin. Thorin looked down at his bag with slight distaste. He glared at Balin, who threw it.

“I thought I said I wasn’t in on this bet?” Thorin grumbled. The white-haired dwarf laughed. 

“Fair’s fair as it’s a pair!” He tucked a few coins back in his pocket. “You were part of the group that found (Name), so you get money too.” 

(Name)’s eyebrow twitched a millimeter. “You placed more bets?” she questioned, fully knowing the answer. 

“Of course!” Balin cheerfully responded, oblivious to the sarcastic tone in her voice. Resisting the immature urge to roll her eyes, (Name) noticed the dwarves had started to stream out of the valley. Thorin followed, soon flanked by Fili and Kili. After a moment of hesitation (and a look from Thorin), (Name) ran to catch up.

~

_ Of course the blue skies and 6 foot wide paths couldn’t last. Of course we couldn’t have stayed in Rivendell. Of course.  _ The thoughts flew through (Name)’s well soaked mind as she clung to the rocky stone of a mountain. Rain pounded down on her head and shoulders, as well as the rocky and treacherous paths. On the girl’s left was a wall of stone, on her right was a drop so sheer she would be instantly shattered once she hit the ground. Thunder and lightning crackled in the air, making the slippery outcrop of rock she was on shake.

_ Happy thoughts, (Name)! Uh...I’m glad I borrowed Kili’s clothes so that I’m not completely wet…?  _ A bolt of brilliant light struck a nearby mountaintop.  _ Oh god, we’re dead. _

“Hold on!” she heard Thorin holler from in front of the line of dwarves. They weren’t making much progress - every step had to be made with extreme caution. As soon as the thought brushed her mind, the girl felt the stone under her feet give. With a small  _ eep _ , she leapt forwards, helped by Dwalin, who was in front of her. 

“We must find shelter!” the leader of the dwarves yelled.  _ No shit, _ (Name) mentally yelled back. 

“Watch out!” Dwalin cried, ducking against the rock. (Name) looked up through the precipitation, following his finger to where he was pointing. Then she saw it - a massive boulder hurtling through the air above the group. Her eyes were wide as she watched it smash against the top of the mountain they were travelling on. Only then did it register that large chunks of rock were falling in their direction, and she pressed herself to the wall like the other dwarves. Stone chunks ranging from pebbles to boulders as big as the original fell from the black and churning clouds.

“This is no thunderstorm,” Balin cried over the noises of the chaos. “This is a thunder battle! Look!” (Name)’s (e/c) tinted orbs were already focused on the strange sight in front of her. The mountain on the other side of the canyon seemed to be growing and shifting, different parts coming together to create a somewhat anthropomorphic figure. Its body parts were all made of rock, connected with some sort of magical force. From yet another mountain, it sluggishly but powerfully ripped a humongous chunk of rock. 

“Well, bless me!” Bofur gasped. “The legends are true! Giants - stone giants!” 

“Take cover, you’ll fall!” Thorin roared. 

“What’s happening?” Kili yelled, echoing (Name’s) thoughts.

The giant reared its arm back, then hurled the rock with all its might. (Name) followed its trajectory to yet another giant that had risen behind the company. As the boulder hit, she gasped and clung as much as she could to the slippery surface. In the middle of the dwarves there was much shouting, and she craned her neck to see what happened. A crack had formed in the mountainside, splitting the group into half. 

“Kili, grab my hand!” Fili yelled, trying to extend his arm to the other side. “Kili - Kili!” The dark haired dwarf tried to, but the distance between the two soon grew too large. (Name) was frozen in paralyzed terror, watching the battle between the stone giants. The first one lifted its arm to give the other a punch, and the rock shifted and rumbled underneath her, finally swinging to supposedly kick or dodge the attack. Dwalin extended his hand to the hobbit, and she clutched it for support. Looking back at the others, she spotted everyone grabbing hands to keep each other standing. Suddenly, another cliff was a couple yards away, then a couple feet. 

“ _ Jump!”  _ Thorin roared from the other group. (Name) watched as they all leapt to the outcropping of rock safely, the rain plastering her (h/c) hair in front of her eyes. Then the rise of yet another stone giant caught her attention. It threw a boulder at the giant she was currently ‘riding’. With a large crash of thunder, the giant fell in pieces, causing (Name) and the half of the dwarves with her to fall. Silently, she tumbled down onto another flat cliff, the pieces of the dead giant raining down on her head. Desperately, she and the dwarves scrambled for the cave-like structure that was in front of them, but a large rock crashed down near where she was standing, making her fall again.

“No,  _ no! Kili!”  _ Thorin exclaimed from somewhere above (Name), just as her fingers painfully caught the edge of a cliff. 

“We’re alright!” she heard Balin yell back. “We’re alive!” The sound of footsteps above her increased as the other group ran to them. “Where’s (Name)?” what sounded like Bofur questioned. “Where’s the hobbit?”

“Here!” (Name) cried, her voice strained with the effort of keeping a grip on the rock. 

“Get her!” Ori yelled, diving to grab the girl. His weight caused a couple of pebbles to shift, making her lose her grip and fall even further down. With a cry, (Name) grabbed hold of another outcropping, her nails and fingers screaming with pain. The other dwarves also tried to reach her to no avail.

Finally, Thorin swung down to another platform jutting out of the rock surface near (Name). He boosted her up with a powerful thrust, allowing her to grab Dwalin’s arm and find purchase on solid ground. After it was made sure that she wouldn’t fall again, Dwalin reached for Thorin and helped him back up too.

“I thought we’d lost our burglar!” Dwalin cracked a grin at the sodden and panting (Name). 

“She’s been lost ever since she left home,” Thorin snapped. “She should have never come. She has no place among us.” He turned, the words hitting home, almost more painful than the throbbing in (Name)’s arms. 

“The cave looks safe,” Oin reported as the teen got to her feet.

“Search to the back,” was the brisk answer. “Caves in mountains are seldom unoccupied.” Oin nodded and went back into the dark with a newly lit lantern, the rain having turned into a slight drizzle. 

The whole group entered the narrow entrance, (Name) in last, as usual. Gloin dropped a bundle of wood on the ground and rubbed his hands together. “Right then, let’s get a fire going,” he declared.

“No, not fires in this place,” Thorin ordered, making (Name) internally groan, shivering from the cold of her soaked clothes.. “Get some sleep, we start at first light.” 

“We were to make camp in the mountains until Gandalf joined us. That was the plan,” Balin argued.

There was a long pause, in which the two dwarves glared at each other. Finally, Thorin broke the silence. “Plans change.”

~

(Name) was most certainly the only creature awake in the solemn darkness of the night. Her mind raced, half afraid that the hard and cold ground would start rumbling and quaking and she would fall into the void. The other half chastised herself for thinking such childish thoughts.  _ The giants are gone and there’s nothing to worry about.  _

Well, she was just a child, wasn’t she? Compared to these centuries-old dwarves, she was but a toddler. She had experienced nothing, just sitting in her hobbit hole, learning to crochet, and being told to avoid what she thought thrilled her. Thorin was right - she didn’t belong. She should probably get out of the way now, before her clumsiness killed either herself or someone else.

Making up her mind, (Name) sat up, her thin blanket flopping off to the side. She reached for her sword, swiftly tucking it into her belt. Her (s/c) fingers wrapped the blanket up into a small bundle, and she got to her feet. 

With the silence and speed accredited to her species, the hobbit tip toed between the sleeping forms of the dwarves. Rumbles and snores filled the cavern, confirming that everyone was fast asleep, but (Name) checked everyone she passed just to make sure.  _ The last thing I want is for any of the dwarves to see me...giving up.  _

She reached the entrance of the cave in a short amount of time. Outside looked even darker than the blackness of the cavern, probably due to the still-fizzling embers of the dwarves’ lanterns. With a deep inhale, (Name) was about to place her foot on the stone when a whispered voice stopped her.

“Where do you think you’re going?” (Name)’s muscles froze. She had forgotten about Bofur, who was standing watch. 

“Back home,” she murmured back, not turning to look at the dwarf.

“No, you can’t turn back now!” Bofur protested. “You’re one of the Company now! You’re one of us.”

(Name) whipped around. “I’m not, though, aren’t I?” she shot back. “Thorin said so himself, that I have no place among you all. Before I get someone really hurt, or even killed, I need to leave! I don’t even know why I followed you - I should’ve known I wouldn’t have been accepted.”

“We do accept you,” Bofur urged. “Even though some of the others might not show it - even if Thorin doesn’t show it. You are our burglar. I can understand - you’re just homesick.”

“No, no I’m not!” (Name) said a bit louder. “I am not homesick, and you don’t understand! You dwarves, you’re used to being wanderers and you don’t belong anywhere, but my hobbit hole-”

Only then did she notice Bofur’s offended face. “I-I’m sorry,” she backpedaled, “I really didn’t…”

“No, it’s alright,” he said gently. “We don’t belong anywhere.” Bofur put a hand on (Name)’s shoulder and smiled sadly. “I wish you all the luck in the world.”

(Name) took one final glance around the cave in desperation. “Thank you-” she started to say, then paused with a start as her (e/c) eyes met sharp and fully awake blue. 

Before any of them could say anything else, a loud and mechanical rumble filled the air. The three’s eyes darted down to the surface they stood on to see black cracks break the smooth rock. Thorin stood up sharply. “Wake up,” he yelled, “wake up!

It was too late - before the dwarves could even yawn or snap at Thorin for disturbing his sleep, the ground collapsed underneath them. (Name) stumbled on the broken ground, then followed the company. Yet another hard chute caught her, sending her tumbling down the slippery tunnel. A firm grip on her sword, she winced at the heat caused by the friction. She heard yells from underneath her along with thumps, proving that the tunnel did lead somewhere and that it would be a painful landing. The girl spotted an orange light at the end of the tunnel, and before she could even think about it, the tunnel spat her out.

(Name) landed with an  _ oomph _ on a soft but lumpy pile. Groans came from underneath her, and only then did she realize that the other dwarves were underneath her, contained in a wooden cage. As she struggled to get up, the dwarf under her straightened, sending her rolling down the pile all the way to the back of the cage. Shouts came from the front, adding to the confusion of the moment. (Name) stayed standing on the single part of solid ground she could find, noticing that the pile of dwarves was slowly diminishing. She caught sights of strange creatures that somewhat resembled orcs, but seemed … different, in a way. The dwarves looked like they were fighting against them, but they were very outnumbered. Pressing herself against the framework of the cage, she watched the not-orcs strip the dwarves of their weapons and march them away across a bridge. Balin seemed to be reluctantly giving in, but Thorin thrashed and attempted to strangle the not-orc holding him. 

Somehow, the creatures missed the timid and hiding hobbit crouching in the corner of the cage. (Name) waited impatiently for them to go far enough away, then dashed out of her hiding spot after them. The line of dwarves grew smaller and smaller as they followed a path carved through the mountainside. Suddenly, the teen noticed that the seemingly solid earth was actually suspended by pillars of rock, disappearing into a black void. A wave of new fear hit her as she forced her eyes back up to the stalactites on the ceiling.

“Hey, you!” a squealy and high voice cried. (Name)’s eyes darted to the source to find yet another not-orc pointing a sword at her. It immediately started rushing at her, and she raised her own sword in response. The two metals clashed, but her blade was glowing a bright blue. Puzzled, she almost missed the not-orc’s next strike, blocking it weakly at the last minute. Desperately, she swung wildly, trying to knock it off the rickety bridge they both stood on. The strike missed, and instead sliced through one of the ropes holding the bridge together. The wood planks tilted precariously, and both the creatures toppled silently down into the darkness below. 

(Name)’s only light was the blue of her sword. Her stomach flopped around in her torso as she fell. Falling was all she knew for eras. Falling, falling, falling...Then all of a sudden, her body was jolted by an impact against a hard surface. Rings and echoes bounced around through her head, her limbs felt numb, and she kept falling. She slammed into another ledge, and the agony coursed through her half-conscious mind. Finally, the last fall. All she knew was a shock of pain in her left arm, and then darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.wattpad.com/489856452-an-unexpected-hobbit-reader-insert-my-neighbor-is  
> Yes. great.   
> Now eat your bread rolls before I do it for you.


	4. I play a life or death game of Tic-tac-toe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MERRY THANKSGIVING!~  
> AND TO ALL,  
> A GOOD TURKEY.  
> UNLESS YOU'RE VEGAN  
> OR VEGITARIAN  
> ENJOY YOUR TOFU.

In the black depths, hundreds of feet below ground, in the very roots of the mountains, there lay a little hobbit girl. The only thing illuminating the chasm was the low blue light of her sword. In contrast to the pitch black, it was blinding. It shone through the girl’s eyes and woke her. She slowly gained her bearings, checking herself for any immediate injuries. 

(Name) considered herself lucky. All that was visible were multiple bruises, and the arm she landed on had a twisted wrist that radiated pain. It was a miracle she was alive at all. She supposed she hit the side of the pit and rolled down, albeit not very smoothly, judging from her purple-spotted skin. 

The girl checked her surroundings, using the faint light of her sword to see what she could. She was facing a cave, apparently, and the area above her was open, where she fell through. She was so far down she couldn’t even glimpse the light of the goblin’s torches. 

The thought nauseated her a bit, thinking about how far she had fallen, and how close of a call it was. She murmured a quiet thanks to Valar under her breath, since it would have been almost too easy for a rock to hit her in the ribs or temple on the way down. 

(Name) spotted the goblin that attacked her, nearly dead, lying on a pile of mushrooms. She couldn’t see much of him, as a cluster of small boulders blocked her path and most of her view, only allowing a small hole with which to see through. She could climb up the mound, most likely, but decided to leave him be, as it was unlikely he would wake up any time soon. 

Her attention was brought to a small glint in the corner. She hid behind the rocks immediately, and watched through the holes. A small, deformed creature hobbled into her view. The glint she saw was the little light they had reflecting in his eyes. It stumbled around the goblin in a circle, sizing it up. It seemed satisfied with what it saw, and let out a coarse laugh that made (Name) want to vomit. 

“Yes. Yes. Yes! Yes! Gollum. Gollum.” The creature seemed to gag and cough at the same time, giving the girl the chills at the disgusting sound. The revolting thing (let’s call it Gollum) grabbed the goblin by the neck, and started to drag it off somewhere.

Suddenly, the goblin woke, thrashing in Gollum’s grip. It shrieked, creating an echo in the cavern, and it wriggled around to escape. With a snarl on its face, Gollum snatched up a nearby stone and, in one fluid movement, struck its head. The not-orc fell unmoving once again, then continued to be dragged away by the creature. Holding back the gag that instantly formed in her throat, (Name) started to follow, only to be stopped by a tiny gleam of golden light. Her eyes trailed it, stopping at a still-rolling metal band. 

It seemed to pull (Name) to it, and her fingers instantly picked it up. It had a glow, a shine and a light of its own that wasn't a reflection. Even though it was spotless, the girl’s thoughts kept coming back to  _ Ew, it must've fallen from his loincloth.  _ Tucking the strange ring into a pocket in her trousers, she continued to trail Gollum out of the small cavern.

Squeezing through a crevice that the short and tiny creature could easily fit through, 

(Name) entered a huge cave, littered with boulders, stalagmites and stalactites, and a lake of seemingly black water.

“Goblins for dinner again,” Gollum was faintly heard sighing from the center of the lake. “Ah, well, better than old boneses…” (Name) crept around yet another rock (she was really getting sick of rocks) and squinted to make out the shape in the middle of the blackness. A boulder, jutting out of the middle of the lake. Gollum, silhouetted against the dark, had a rock in his hand, and as (Name) watched, disgusted, he smashed it against the not-orc’s head over and over again. Even after it was long past dead, after the light of her sword flickered out along with the goblin’s life, the malevolent creature kept smashing its skull in. “Too many boneses, Precious! Nothing of flesh!” it said. Then, contradicting itself, it hissed, “Shut up! Get its skin off. Start with its head.”

“ _ The cold hard lands, they bites our hands, they gnaws our feet. The rocks and stones, they’re like old bones, all bare of meat. Cold as death, they have no breath, it’s good to eat! _ ” Gollum sang to himself, putting the rock aside. Suddenly, its head swiveled to face the girl.

(Name) gasped and ducked behind the rock. Even though a hobbit’s feet were quiet, the rest of her wasn’t. Her sword had tapped on the the rock lightly, making an annoying echo that alerted the demented creature to her presence. (Name) tentatively peeked her head out of the cover and focused on the little island, but her (e/c) colored gaze couldn’t find Gollum. A sudden wave of fear washed over her - it could be anywhere. She took a couple steps into the open, holding her sword out. Then she screamed loudly when she noticed the creature perched on the rock she had been hiding behind, about to leap on her.

Gollum leapt down to the ground. Despite its humanoid appearance, the way it crawled and how its nose twitched made it seem completely animal. 

“Bless and splash us, Precious!” he hissed to himself. “That’s a meaty mouthful.” The mention of being eaten made (Name)’s hands shake harder, sending a jolt of discomfort up her sprained wrist, but she held her blade out near Gollum’s neck. 

“Back!” she yelled. “Go away!” Gollum hissed and coughed as it retreated a couple steps. 

“Ahh, Gollum, Gollum,” it muttered.

“I’m warning you!” (Name) continued to shout. “Stay back!”

“It’s got an Elvish blade, but it’s not an Elfs,” Gollum thought out loud to itself. “No, not an elfs. What is it, Precious?”

“I-I'm a Hobbit,” (Name) declared, keeping the point of her sword level with Gollum. “My name is (Name) (L/N).”

“A hobbitses?” Gollum hissed. “We’ve had goblinses and elveses, but never hobbitses...is it soft? Is it juicy?”

“I will use this on you!” (Name) yelled, thrusting the blade forwards. Gollum scuttled back. “I'll find a path out of here, be on my way, and you don't have to get hurt!”

“Why, is it lostses?” Gollum peered at the girl. 

“Yes I am, and I want to get out of here as soon as possible.”

“Ooh!” Gollum exclaimed in a voice slightly different from before. “We knows, we knows safe path for Hobbitses! Safe paths in the dark- Shut up!” 

“I didn’t say anything…” (Name) stated, a little confused. 

“Wasn’t talking to you!” Gollum snarled, “But yes we was, Precious, we was!”

(Name) lifted her growingly heavy sword. “Look!” she yelled. “I don’t know what game you’re trying to pla-”

“Games?” the creature grinned, looking up at (Name). “We loves games, Precious, don’t we? Does it like games? Does it, does it?”

“Maybe,” the girl bluntly answered.

Gollum scuttled up to another boulder, then started to recite, “What has roots but nobody sees, is taller than trees. Up, up, up it goes, and yet, never grows.”

“Uhhh…” (Name) started. “A...really tall tree?”

Gollum snarled. “No, no, no, the Hobbitses got it wrong! Another one, do it again, no, do it againses - No! No more riddles! Finish it off, finish it off now!” The monster rushed at (Name), holding a sharp rock, but the girl held up her sword again.  _ I won’t die like this,  _ she thought desperately.

“No! No, no, nononono, I want to play,” she chuckled nervously. “Just - not riddles. Why don’t - why don’t we play a nice game of Tic Tac Toe?” Riddles she stood no chance with riddles - at least with Tic Tac Toe she had a chance. 

“Yes, yes, yes, just us,” Gollum whispered excitedly. 

“Yes, and if I win, you must show me the way out,” (Name) declared.

“And if it loses? What then?” Gollum asked itself. “Why, if it loses, Precious, we eats it whole!” It turned to (Name), then stated, “If Hobbitses loses, we eats it whole!”

(Name)’s face turned an ashen shade of gray, but nevertheless she nodded. “Deal.” Getting down on her knees, she scavenged for a patch of dirt or sand.  _ Playing Tic Tac Toe with my life on the line, I never thought I’d do something like this.  _ The thought was so ridiculous that she almost laughed out loud, but she held it in at the last minute. “Here,” she stated, finally finding a little bit of sand and etching out a three by three grid. 

“Ah, but who goes second?” Gollum asked. “Hobbitses or Gollumses? No, no, Gollumses should goes first.”

“Oh, but…” (Name) was desperate to go first, to get the center square of the grid. “..But youngest always goes first! How old are you?”

“Gollumses remembers how old it is,” Gollum stated. “Gollumses is older than the Earths.”

“Well, then, I go first, since I’m 17 years old,” (Name) sighed in relief. She lifted a finger and drew an X in the middle. 

Gollum contemplated the board for a moment, then leaped forwards to draw a circle in the top left square.

(Name) stopped to think for a minute, analyzing the board as if it was a game of chess. After all, one should really take their time in a life-or-death game of Tic Tac Toe. Finally, to prevent any tricky tactics, she decided on the top center square, reaching out with her left hand but drawing it back quickly when a bolt of pain shot through it. She quickly drew an X with her right hand. 

“Gollum, Gollum,” the creature murmured. “Draw a circles, a circles! No, shut up!” It reached out to draw in the middle left box. 

(Name) then proceeded to mark the lower left box to prevent Gollum from winning, and Gollum drew a circle in the top right corner. Only then did the girl notice that it was impossible for either of them to win. Her face, which had just returned to its regular color, turned gray again, but anyways scribbled in the lower right box. Gollum marked the right center box, then started to scowl. “No, no, no, no,” it muttered. “No, Hobbitses hasn’t win, but Gollum hasn’t win…” It looked up at (Name) with a hungry look in its eyes. “So Hobbitses loses, so we eats it whole!”

“No you don’t!” (Name) cried, picking up her sword and running for the nearest tunnel leading out of the cavern. Gollum followed with surprising speed and agility, using boulders and rocks to spring off of. The girl’s legs pumped at their fastest, finally stepping onto the smoother stone of a tunnel. Suddenly, a  _ tink  _ filled the air, causing (Name) to stop and wonder if she dropped a coin. Gollum was at the mouth of the tunnel, staring at the item that fell.

The ring.

“Lost, lost, lost,” Gollum repeated. “Hobbitses lost the game, Gollum lost the ring.” He crept slowly and silently forwards, and so did (Name). She knew she wanted the gold band - it tugged at her once again, causing her to point her sword at the creature. “It stole it, it stole it!” it cried. “Ahh! She STOLE IT!” Gollum darted towards the ring.

(Name) was quicker though, she shot forwards to grab the ring with her left hand, and then turned and ran for her life. As her boots pounded the rock, she slipped the ring onto her third finger. All of a sudden, the colors of her purplish hand faded into a dull light gray. Stopping in shock, she stared at it, moving it around to see if the color came back. The same applied to her other hand, and her tunic, her usually (h/c) tinted hair, and the brown boots she'd come to treasure. They had all turned monochrome, matching the dull stone that made up the walls, floor, and ceiling. 

“Where is the Hobbitses?” a growling murmur came from behind (Name). She whirled around, a little unsure why Gollum would say that when she was right in front of it. The little creature was stretching out its arms, as if searching for something that couldn't be seen. Then it looked straight into the girl’s (e/c), but now probably silver, eyes. She froze, but Gollum kept on looking around as if it hadn't seen anything.

_ I can still see my hands, so why can't it? _

_ Is this thing a magic ring? _

_ I probably shouldn't try taking it off right now…. _

(Name) took careful and large steps away from Gollum, who was still scavenging for its ring. Then it suddenly dashed past her, running to a boulder near a fork in the tunnel and searching its edges. She followed cautiously, noticing a light coming from the left branch of the tunnel. 

Startling (Name), Gandalf ran in from the right, followed by the rest of the dwarves, Thorin included. Exiting out the left, they probably didn't notice Gollum hiding behind a rock, nor her, being invisible and all. The girl was about to follow, but then she noticed Gollum had limped to the middle of the tunnel sadly, whimpering.  It almost looked human. (Name) shook her head, then stepped past it carefully. A sound from her boot attracted its attention, and its head whipped around. By then, though, (Name) was dashing out after the dwarves, ring on one hand and sword in the other.

“Curses!” Gollum yelled. “Thief Hobbitses!”

When (Name) burst out onto the mountainside, she took a moment to inhale the fresh air before she continued to run after the dwarves. Her bruises ached afresh now that the fear factor was gone, and she just wanted to curl up in her bed back and read a nice book. As she approached the dwarves, she heard bits of their conversation.

“...Nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen…” Gandalf counted. “But where's our burglar? Where's the hobbit?”

“That cursed halfling!” Dwalin sighed. 

“I thought you were with her,” Ori asked, pointing to Dori.

“I can't keep my eyes on her all the time!” Dori argued.

(Name) silently slid behind a nearby tree and listened.

“Well, where did we last see her?” Gandalf questioned.

“I saw her slipping away,” Nori pointed out, “when they first collared us.”

Gandalf walked forwards until he towered over the dwarf. “What happened? Tell me everything!” 

“I’ll tell you what happened,” Thorin’s rumbling voice interrupted. “(Name) saw her chance and she took it! She's thought of nothing but her soft bed and her warm hearth since first she stepped out of her door! We will not be seeing our Hobbit again. She is long gone.”

Thorin’s harsh words once again stung, and (Name) immediately was filled with an urge to prove him wrong. Realizing that the grass and sky were still colors of gray, she pulled the ring off her aching finger, watching the colors above her fade into oranges and pinks of the sunset. She dropped the ring into her pocket, then turned to face the dwarves.

“Actually, she isn't,” (Name) smirked, causing the Company to turn in shock in her direction. Balin was the first to let out a relieved chuckle. “(Name)!” he greeted her, extending an arm. “I had thought we’d once more lost our burglar!”

“(Name), we’d given you up!” Fili exclaimed.

“Yeah, how did you get past the goblins?” Kili asked.

“How indeed?” Dwalin wondered. “And what happened to your skin, it looks like you fell off a cliff!” He gestured to the girl's bruises.

“Yeah, um…” (Name) started, laughing nervously. “I sorta did, but it really doesn't matter how I got out-”

“Yes it does,” Thorin thundered. “Why did you come back? We all know you wish for the comforts of your home still-”

“I may still want to be next to my fireplace, with a book and food,” (Name) argued. “And I may miss my armchair, and my room, and my … parents … but then I just think about what it would be like to not belong to a place, like you! Everyone needs a place to feel safe and comfortable, everyone needs a home. I need to help you retake Erebor, so you can have a place to call home again. That's why I came.”

Kili whooped out a cheer, followed by his brother. Balin patted (Name) on the shoulder, and Thorin just turned away.

A howl suddenly filled the air, one that now (Name) was familiar with. Thorin's head snapped in the direction that it came from. “From the frying pan…” he muttered.

“Into the fire!” Gandalf yelled. “Run!”

The dwarves took off, the paws of a pack of Wargs pounding behind them. (Name) looked back before she sprinted off, a mistake. Many Wargs were right on their heels, and at the top of the mountain was a large orc riding an albino Warg.  _ The Pale Orc... _ she realized. 

When a Warg 15 feet away charged, (Name) took off, following the dwarves. It was faster, though, catching up with her quickly. The girl held her sword out, and thrust it forwards just as the beast snapped at her. With a  _ shhhhhk _ , it was impaled through the skull. (Name) quickly tried to pull her weapon out of the body, but it was stuck.

“Climb!” Gandalf ordered from behind her, near the edge of a cliff much higher than the one she had survived a fall from. Her sword finally came free, and she scrambled for the nearest tree trunk. With the dwarves’ help, she swung upwards just in time before the pack of Wargs reached the tree. They snapped and snarled at them, pushing the thin trunk with their massive bodies. 

“Azog,” Thorin murmured in surprise. The orc riding the white Warg approached the tree. It hissed a couple words in its language, and the leader of the dwarves shook his head in disbelief. “It can't be…”

After a bit more of Orc-Speak, the Pale Orc pointed at the tree and said in the common tongue, “Kill them,” turning the girl’s veins to ice. The Wargs instantly started to leap up the tree, claws digging into the bark but sliding back down. The weight pushed the tree further over until it finally started to fall. Like squirrels, (Name) and the company leapt to the next tree. Then the wolf-beasts started to swarm them again, and  _ again  _ did the thin tree begin to fall. (Name) pushed herself off the branch with a powerful spring and caught another with only her injured left hand. With a cry of pain, she reached with her right arm and pulled herself up, only for this tree to start to fall as well.

Her arms aching, she leaped for the tree closest to the edge of the cliff. There was no slope to catch them if they fell at the bottom, just a void of blackness. As she held onto the trunk, she spotted Gandalf holding a pinecone. As he whispered to it, it caught flame. The wizard tapped another pinecone to it, then tossed it to Kili. The dwarf grinned, then set yet another seed on fire. Handing one to his sibling, he then chucked it at the nearest Warg, who’s fur soon flickered with bright flames. The rest of the dwarves also hurled flaming pinecones, setting the other fallen trees on fire. Azog hissed, and the remaining Wargs pushed the one standing tree harder, causing  _ that  _ as  _ well to topple!  _ There was no tree to catch them, though, and they tried to crawl down to the base of the trunk. It was too late, though, the tree had fallen 90 degrees, causing the dwarves and (Name) to have to catch its branches to stay alive. She was lucky, she grabbed hold of a large and low branch, but Ori was only held by Dori, who was being supported by Gandalf. 

Thorin, who had taken hold of the trunk, got to his feet steadily. His boots walked the thin trunk slowly, and the company watched in awe. As soon as his feet found solid land, he lifted his sword. The king started to run, having picked up a large oaken branch from a partially lit tree to use as a shield. The Pale Orc just grinned omnisciently. Once Thorin got into range, the beast yelled a command, and his Warg struck with his front paw, sending the dwarf flying backwards as the Company looked on in horror.

As Thorin slowly got to his feet, (Name) spotted Ori and Dori slip a bit more, the latter only being suspended by the tip of Gandalf’s staff. She squeezed her eyes tightly closed, wondering if it was all a nightmare and she would wake up back in Rivendell, or better yet, back home. But no, Thorin was again charging Azog, this time being met with a mace to the face. “No!” Balin cried as he staggered backwards, then fell again. The Pale Orc roared in victory, then trotted up to where Thorin lay. He tried to get up, but the White Warg clamped its jaws around him, making him cry out in pain.

Desperately, (Name) pushed herself up from the tree. She managed to scoot her legs into a crawling position, then tentatively moved across the trunk closer to the edge of the cliff. It was just a little bit farther, but made difficult by her heavy clothes and sword. “(Name), go!” she heard Dwalin call once she finally hit solid ground. Resisting the urge to kiss the dirt, the girl sprinted towards where Thorin lay.

“ _ Biriz torag khobdudol!”  _ the Pale Orc cried. One of the other orcs approached the semi-conscious Thorin and lifted his blade. (Name) was just in time to deflect its strike with her own sword, then impale him. The girl stared in shock at the body sliding off her weapon, leaving dark bloodstains on it, as Azog snarled. “Kill her,” he ordered. (Name) gulped as five orcs started to surround her. They were each armed with spears and swords, and were obviously going to overwhelm her.

All her previous courage draining out of her, (Name) held her sword up shakily. The first strike was from the leftmost orc, who leapt with his spear. The girl just frantically swung and  _ somehow _ , her blade cut straight through the sturdy wood, separating the spearhead from the stick. She had no time to revel on this, as another blow came from another orc. She blocked it, waving her weapon around wildly.  _ If they can't reach me,  _ she desperately thought,  _ they can't hurt me- _

The spear she had “beheaded” came crashing down into (Name)’s skull, interrupting her thought. The blow echoed inside her cranium, rattling her brain. She staggered backwards, her hand instinctively going to the bruise. She managed to stay standing, and through her blurry and spiraling vision, she swiped at the orc that had hit her. It just sidestepped the swing, though, and retaliated with another attack in the exact same spot. The pain was twice as bad as the hobbit fell to her knees, all her other injuries masked by the throbbing of her skull.

Her vision was fading, but (Name) could make out the Pale Orc above her on the white Warg. She was sure she would die at that very moment, decapitated, then followed by all the other dwarves. But no! Kili, who had somehow gotten off the tree, was rushing in with his sword extended, yelling a battle cry. He was swiftly followed by Fili and Balin, then Dwalin. The orcs standing over (Name) immediately turned and leapt into battle.turned their attention to the charging dwarves, raising their weapons. As they fought, a yell came from the tree, a sign that someone had fallen. She tried to get up, but the rocket of pain shooting through her head sent her back down. 

Suddenly, a bird’s cry echoed through the night. (Name) heard the swoosh of wings next to her, and she turned to see two extremely large talons grabbing an orc next to her and flying away with it. Swooping out of the canyon that Ori and Dori had fallen into was a humongous eagle, carrying the two on its back. Another gently picked up the limp Thorin in its talons and flew off with him. His oaken branch dropped to the group, nearly hitting (Name) in the face. It didn’t register that another pair of talons was lowering on her until she was picked up and thrown in the air. Shrieking, she free fell into the valley, but then was caught by a feathery surface, streamlining through the air. Her sword was still tight in her grip, and she squeezed her eyes shut, clinging to the eagle’s back. She wasn’t sure where they were taking the company, or if they were friend or foe - she just hung tight. 

~

It seemed like ages of (Name) riding the eagle, over many landscapes, forests, mountains, and plains, but finally they approached a large rock structure. Her mind starting to recover, she got on her hands and knees, balancing on the bird’s back. Once she was a couple feet away from the ledge, she leapt off the eagle, somehow landing on her feet. Thorin was deposited a couple feet away, and Gandalf ran to him. “Thorin,” he called, “Thorin!” The dwarf didn’t respond. As the girl approached, the wizard got on his knees and placed his hand on Thorin’s forehead, muttering a spell. His eyes fluttered open and he gasped weakly. “The halfling?” he asked hoarsely. 

“It’s alright,” Gandalf told him, standing up. “(Name) is here, and quite safe.” The other dwarves were starting to gather, running to Thorin in concern. Getting to his feet, he shrugged off their efforts to help him and stormed towards (Name). She gulped, a little afraid of the expression on his face.

“You!” he yelled. “What were you doing? You nearly got yourself killed! Did I not say that you would be a burden? That you would not survive in the wild and that you had no place amongst us?”

(Name) was frozen, although she felt the need to snap back at the dwarf. Then a grin spread across his face, surprising her.

“I have never been so wrong in my life!” he smiled, taking the girl’s hand in his fondly. (Name) looked down at it, then back up, unsure of what she should do. She looked out at the company.  Fili whooped out a cheer, clapping loudly with his brother. Gandalf had let a tiny smile across his face, and the other dwarves looked on happily. 

“I am sorry I doubted you,” Thorin apologized, making (Name) turn back to him. She let out a tiny laugh. “Yeah, no, I would’ve doubted me too,” she stated honestly. Screeches came from the eagles, who were flying off into the sunrise. Thorin’s metallic eyes had found something behind the girl, letting his hand drop from hers. She turned as well to see a solitary, dark mountain peak sticking up from the horizon. “Is that...what I think it is?” she gasped.

“Erebor,” Gandalf echoed everyone’s thoughts. “The Lonely Mountain. The last of the great dwarf-kingdoms of Middle Earth.”

“Our home,” Thorin finished. A sudden birdsong filled the air, different from the sharp noises of the eagles, and a small animal flitted past the group.

“A raven!” Oin gasped. “The birds are returning to the mountain!”

“That, my dear Oin,” Gandalf informed him sarcastically, “is a thrush.”

“But we’ll take it as a sign, as a good omen,” Thorin stated.

“You’re right,” (Name) agreed. “I hope the worst is behind us.” 

The company watched the mountain in reverie as the sun sent its first rays of the day into the sky.

~~To Be Continued~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.wattpad.com/498656161-an-unexpected-hobbit-reader-insert-i-play-a-life  
> Enjoy your wannabe meat, vegans.   
> Since, y'know,  
> plant's know they're gonna be eaten.  
> Look it up.   
> I know shit, don't question me.


	5. I really don't like this Forest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UHMM  
> IM SORRY THIS IS LATE  
> I FORGOT TO POST IT  
> SORRY

(Name) (L/N) cautiously climbed down a large pile of rocks, to where the company of Thorin Oakenshield was waiting for her report.

“Well?” Dwalin demanded once she jumped to the ground, making her bruises ache. “How far is the pack?”

“Not very far,” (Name) answered worriedly, pushing her (h/l) (h/c) hair out of her face. “Maybe a couple leagues, but there’s more-”

“Have the Wargs picked up our scent?” the bald but heavily bearded dwarf interrupted. 

“Not yet,” the girl impatiently stated, “they probably will, but there’s another problem-” 

“Did they see you?” Gandalf tensely asked. “They saw you, didn’t they-”

“They didn’t see me!” (Name) sighed. The wizard turned to the company. “See? Excellent burglar material - quiet as a mouse.” Everyone shot him sarcastic looks - he was one of the longest to get used to (Name)’s presence. The hobbit’s expression turned to exasperation. “Will you listen to what I have to say?! There’s something- something else out there!”

Finally, the worried attention of the dwarves rested on her. “What form did it take?” Gandalf inquired, a strange question. “Was it a bear?”

“Ye...yes,” (Name) answered, casting the wizard a look. “It was, just much bigger than a normal one.”

“You knew about this beast?” Bofur asked Gandalf. He ignored the question, turning and taking a couple steps forwards. 

“I say we double back,” Bofur stated. 

“And be run down by a pack of orcs,” Thorin sarcastically added.

“There is a house, not far from here,” Gandalf interrupted, turning back to the group. “We can take refuge there.”

“Who’s house?” Thorin demanded. “Are they friend or foe?”

“Neither,” Gandalf answered simply. “He will either help us, or kill us.”

All the dwarves exchanged looks.

“What choice do we have?” Thorin queried.

A thunderous roar split the night from behind them.

“None,” Gandalf grimly replied.

~

(Name)’s legs pumped to keep up with the company. Her sword was in its sheath at her side, bouncing with every step, and her lungs strained to circulate any air. “Come on!” Gandalf yelled, somehow in the front of the group despite his long robes and staff. There was movement of the foliage around them, caused by orcs, or rabbits, or themselves - (Name) had no idea. She just followed as quickly as she could, nearly tripping on a large and gnarled tree root.

Another ear-splitting roar filled the darkened sky as they reached the edge of the forest, causing Bombur to stop a moment in fright. “Come on, Bombur!” Gandalf’s cry stirred him back into motion, running now across an open field to a barnhouse. Somehow, the red-bearded dwarf had outran all of the others, and reached the door first. (Name) spotted him try the handle, but it seemed locked, so he threw himself against the wood. It held steady, however, and he fell over. 

Once the others caught up, they also tried to break the door down. (Name), at the back of the crowd, eyed the woods timidly. Suddenly, the massive black bear she had spotted before burst out of the trees and pounded towards them. “Open the door, quickly!” Gandalf hollered. As he said that, the door burst open, and the dwarves slid inside just in time. (Name), being the last to get in, yelled in fear as she dived through the closing door, the bear right behind her. The company all pushed against the door, but its head had made it through, roaring and snarling wildly. “Come on, lads!” Dwalin shouted, and with one final effort, the door slammed shut and the bolt latched across it. (Name) let out a sigh of relief.

“What  _ is  _ that?” Ori wondered.

“That,” Gandalf stated matter-of-factly, “is our host.”

The dwarves and the hobbit turned to look at the wizard, bewildered.

“His name is Beorn, and he is a skin-changer,” Gandalf went on to say. “Sometimes he’s a huge black bear, sometimes he’s a great strong man. The bear is unpredictable, but the man can be reasoned with.” Just as everyone let themselves relax, Gandalf added, “However, he is not overfond of dwarves.”

Ori, who had peeked through a crack in the door, reported, “He’s leaving!” However, Dori pulled him back by the shoulder. “Come away from there!” he ordered his sibling. “It’s not natural, none of it. It’s obvious; he’s under some dark spell.”

“Don’t be a fool, he’s under no enchantment but his own,” Gandalf contradicted the dwarf. “Alright now, get some sleep, all of you. You’ll be safe here tonight.” The dwarves didn’t hesitate to start spreading out and lying down. (Name) was about to follow, but was close enough to the Gray wizard to hear him murmur to himself, “I hope.”

~

(Name) awoke to a bumblebee resting on her nose. With a start, she shooed it away, sitting up. A glance around the room told her that everyone had left without her, hopefully not too far away. Jumping up and pulling Kili’s borrowed cloak around her, she followed the noise of quiet conversation.

The girl entered a kitchen to find the company sitting around a table, along with the largest human she had ever seen. He was twice her height, probably even more, and he towered over even Gandalf. The giant grumbled.

“So you are the one they call Oakenshield. Tell me, why is Azog the Defiler hunting you?” His presence filled the entire room, and with his intimidating figure, he made quite a menacing individual. Even so, Thorin found it in himself, with plenty of help from his stubborn dwarvish qualities, to stand taller, combating the strongman’s ubiquity. (Name) shrunk back a bit, out of habit, as did the rest of the company. He spoke loud and clear, their personalities seeming to fight for the title of most intimidating.

“You know of Azog? How?” Thorin stared up at the man.

“My people were the first to live in the mountains, before the Orcs came down from the north. The Defiler killed most of my family, but some he enslaved.” (Name) spotted the remnants of scars on his wrists. Earned, obviously, by being bound with manacles. Her stomach dropped at the thought. Living in fear… she didn’t like that thought. E _ specially after all the stories I was told as a child about the Fell Winter…  _

“Not for work, you understand, but for sport. Caging skin-changers and torturing them seemed to amuse him.” (Name) winced. It brought back even more memories. The haunted eyes of older hobbits when she asked about the Winter. She had to say something. Anything! But of course, her curiosity held fast, just like when she was a child. 

“There are others like you?” she blurted out, attracting the attention of the company and Beorn.

“There were,” was the giant man’s answer. 

“How many are there now?” (Name) queried, spurred on by his use of a past tense verb.

“One,” he grunted. 

“Oh,” (Name) stared at her mud-encrusted boots. 

Beorn finally broke the silence that ensued. “You need to reach the mountains before the last days of autumn?”

“Before Durin’s Day falls, yes,” Gandalf answered solemnly, as (Name) silently slid into a seat. 

“You are running out of time,” the skin-changer commented.

“Which is why we must go through Mirkwood,” the wizard shot back. The term was new to (Name), and she listened closely.

“A darkness lies upon that forest. Fell things creep beneath those trees.” The hobbit gulped. “There is an alliance between the Orcs of Moria and the Necromancer in Dol Guldur. I would not venture there except in great need.”

“We will take the Elven Road,” Gandalf argued. “That path is still safe.”

“Safe?” Beorn scoffed. “The Wood-Elves of Mirkwood are not like their kin. They’re less wise and more dangerous. But it matters not.” Thorin leaned forwards in his seat.

“What do you mean?” he questioned.

“These lands are crawling with Orcs. Their numbers are growing, and you are on foot. You will never reach the forest alive.” (Name) gulped again.

Thorin’s face had turned stony and thunderous, and the company was looking between the two battling for authority. Beorn pushed his chair back and stood up, towering over everyone in the room. 

“I don’t like dwarves. They’re greedy and blind, blind to the lives of those they deem lesser than their own,” Beorn suddenly stated, picking up a tiny mouse that had been scampering across the counter by its tail.  _ Like hobbits,  _ (Name) couldn’t help the thought that zipped across her mind, despite Thorin’s random act of gratitude the day before. 

The king of dwarves had stood up as well, and he glared up at Beorn, waiting for his next statement. 

“But orcs I hate more,” he finished. “What do you need?”

(Name) let out a breath of relief.

~

The company was riding away from Beorn’s house on newly supplied ponies, watched by the skin changer in the distance. (Name) clung to the reins, jostled up and down. It was better than walking, she had to admit, but she was still not used to the sensation.

Quickly, they reached the edge of the field, stopping at a line of trees. The forest on this side seemed different from any other - as (Name) dismounted, she felt a sickly and dying aura being emitted by it. A stone arch covered in moss and vines stood in front of a dirt path, crumbling and somehow staying upright. Gandalf walked up to it and brushed it with his fingers. “The Elven Gate,” he murmured to himself, then turned and told the group, “Here lies our path through Mirkwood!”

“No sign of the orcs. We have luck on our side,” Dwalin declared. As he dismounted, the hobbit caught a flicker of motion in the corner of her vision, and she turned. A large figure on a distant cliff paced, a bear, then lumbered down the rocks. 

“Set the ponies loose! Let them run back to their master,” Gandalf ordered. The dwarves started to pull their things off the animals and let them gallop back across the open plains. In the meanwhile, the wizard walked a couple paces into the forest. (Name) watched him gasp suddenly, then turn back and nod to himself.

Nori was about to let Gandalf’s horse go, when the wizard yelled, “Not my horse! I need it.” The company glanced up, murmuring in surprise.

“You’re leaving us?” (Name) questioned, suddenly feeling afraid of the forest ahead. She suddenly felt the slight weight of her ring in her pocket, and a wave of guilt crashed over her for not telling anyone about the gold.

“I would not do this unless I had to,” was the answer, directed towards Thorin, whose expression had turned stony. 

Gandalf then turned to (Name). “You’ve changed, (Name) (L/N),” he told her. “You’re not the same hobbit who left Hobbiton.”

The girl looked down, then back up. “Gandalf, I need to tell you, I found something in the goblin caves,” she blurted out.

“Yes?” the wizard asked curiously.

(Name) was about to tell him about the ring, but then felt a sudden impulse to avoid that. Scrambling for an answer, she said, “I- my braveness. I mean courage. If braveness isn’t a word.”

“Well, that’s good,” Gandalf seemed like he was a bit amused. “You’ll need it.” He turned, and before mounting, he told Thorin, “I’ll be waiting for you at the overlook, before the slopes of Erebor. Keep the map and key safe. Do not enter that mountain without me.”

“This is not the Greenwood of old,” he continued ominously. “The very air of the forest is heavy with illusion. It will seek to enter your mind and lead you astray.”

“Lead us astray?” (Name) repeated.

“You must stay on the path; do not leave it. If you do, you will never find it again.” Gandalf mounted his horse right before the first drops of a drizzle started to hit the ground. “Whatever must come,” he called as he rode away, “stay on the path!”

After a moment of watching the wizard leave, Thorin turned back. “Come on,” he ordered as his boots followed the path. “We must reach the mountain before the sun sets on Durin’s Day.”

“Durin’s Day,” Dwalin repeated confidently. “Let’s go!”

“This is our one chance to find the hidden door,” Thorin went on.  _ What?  _ was all (Name)’s thoughts could register.  _ Was there a plan they never told me about? _

The dwarves filed onto the thin and rough path. It would be easy to lose it as they got deeper into the trees - everything was dark, and somehow foggy, despite the brightness they left behind a couple meters away. How and why the path should be followed, the hobbit had no idea. “The path goes this way,” she heard Thorin declare 12 dwarves ahead of her. Like usual, she was at the back of the line, but she continued to follow.

~

Thorin had been trying to keep track of time. It could’ve been half an hour, or maybe an hour, maybe even two, of walking. His eyes were glued on the path alternating between stones and dirt, making sure they stuck to it like glue. 

“Air,” Bofur gasped from behind him. “I need air.”

“My head, it’s spinning,” Oin murmured. 

Nori suddenly stopped in front of him, causing all the dwarves to run into each other. 

“What’s happened?” Oin asked, confused.

“Keep moving!” Thorin yelled. “Nori, why have we stopped?”

“The path,” the youngest dwarf stated, “has disappeared.”

“What’s going on?” Dwalin added to the confusion.

“We’ve lost the path!” Oin answered.

The line had stopped at a steep cliff, where there was nothing but a long fall underneath them. “Find it, all of you!” Thorin barked, keeping his own mental fog at bay. “Look for the path!”

They wandered for a bit more time, the aura of Mirkwood affecting them more and more. Thorin forced his drifting thoughts away - _Oh look, there are dwarves in this forest… And they look familiar, too…._

“I don’t remember this place,” Balin sighed worriedly.

“It’s got to be here,” Dwalin insisted.

“What hour is it?” Thorin inquired, his mental clock having gone haywire.

“I do not know,” Dwalin answered. “I don’t even know what day it is.”

“Is there no end to this accursed place?!” Thorin exclaimed, frustration overwhelming him. Then a girl’s voice interrupted their conversation.

“Has anyone seen my cousin?” (Name), from the back of the line, asked Bombur. He shrugged, sagging behind the other dwarves. Her voice sounded lighter and higher pitched, with a childish tone to it. It also sounded tensed, and worried. Thorin paused to look back at her running between the dwarves.

“Have you seen Jonah?” she asked Dori. “Have you seen my cousin?” With every word, she seemed more panicked. “Please, I need to know where Jonah is! Please!” she begged Fili, who looked cluelessly at her. “I don’t know where my cousin is!”

(Name) got to the front of the line, approaching Thorin. “Have you seen my cousin?” she breathlessly asked him. 

“I don’t know your cousin,” Thorin answered simply, unsure of what was going on. “We haven’t met your cousin.” This was obviously the wrong this to say, since the hobbit took a step back and slowly sank to her knees, trembling. All the dwarves had paused and were now staring at her.  _ Mirkwood must be taking a much worse toll on (Name), or maybe she’s hallucinating. _

“My cousin was taken,” she murmured to herself. The words were nothing, but they were weighted. “He was taken.” 

“Taken by what?” Kili questioned.

“I don’t know!” (Name) cried. “It was big, and black, and it grabbed him! And I tried to save him and now Mum’s going to blame _ me!”  _ The dwarves continued to watch the girl break down. Thorin stood awkwardly, unsure of what he was supposed to do to comfort her.

As she looked up, the long haired dwarf noticed a single tear rolling down her cheek, seemingly at something of her imagination. The awkwardness was turned up another 10 notches - none of the dwarves were sure what to do, and not all of them were paying attention, lost in their own crazed thoughts. 

(Name) stood, then turned in a full circle, her eyes wide. She asked the dwarves to believe her, to help her find her seemingly imaginary cousin. Her pleas seemed to pull Fili, then Kili from their own thoughts, and their attention was turned to her. Suddenly, she whipped around to face Thorin. 

He had been watching her for the last few minutes, scrambling around, most obviously having lost her mind. So it came as quite a shock when suddenly her gaze snapped to him. He suddenly felt very uncomfortable. Did she want him to console her? He didn’t even know what was happening, and he wasn’t exactly the most emotionally supportive dwarf out there. 

(Name) ran up to him, grabbing his sleeves and shaking him. Now, Thorin was already extremely confused as it was, and the surprisingly strong jostling didn’t help in the slightest. People, even Hobbits, were unexpectedly strong when it came down to it. He undoubtedly had a ridiculous look on his face, despite the serious occasion, which was confirmed by the tiny snort coming from the general direction of Fili and Kili. 

“Please!” (Name) cried. “Please help! Something took him!” She looked over at the company, and her grip on Thorin loosened (much to his relief). She cried again.

“Can’t you see? It attacked me! Don’t you see it?” She let go of Thorin completely, and he wobbled a little bit. Some of the other dwarves shuffled, not sure what to say. The girl pointed to her inner forearm. Her tears were hitting the ground, soundless. But not her crying. Her crying was shaking the dwarves to their very core. Surely, this was just an illusion for her? She couldn’t have actually felt this at one point? Their doubts crumbled when she pulled up her sleeve. It wasn’t the worst, but it most definitely wasn’t from some everyday kind of injury, and they all winced.

A line, around five inches long, and a finger’s width thick, ran along the inside of her forearm. It was a clean cut, obviously quick, but still deep. 

“It cut me when it took him! Do you believe me now? Please? Please!” The girl’s knees started to give out. “You have to help me!” (Name) clutched her arm as if the wound was still fresh, and silently cried.

After a moment of hesitation on everyone’s part, Kili broke through the line of dwarves, quickly followed by his brother. He wrapped an arm around (Name)’s shoulders and pulled her closer, causing her to look up in surprise. “It's alright,” he consoled her, patting her gently. Fili also joined in, hugging the hobbit tightly. Her tears had halted, like a tiny child who had just had a nightmare and was being comforted by her parents. 

Thorin also, after a minute, patted her shoulder in what he hoped was a gentle manner. She was calming down, and every dwarf started to relax. When she looked up over Fili’s shoulder, however, her eyes were constricted, her pupils just a tiny dot in a sea of (e/c).

“Not again…” she murmured helplessly, meeting the eight red eyes of the monster extending its legs out to the dwarves.

    ~

_ A small hobbit girl was throwing small rocks at a tree. The game that she had creatively made up was to get as many branches as possible knocked down in three minutes. Once time was up, she skipped over to the tree, humming a tune she couldn’t remember the origin of. She knelt down to count the sticks she had broken off, and stood back up with a huff. Whipping around, she faced a slightly older boy, with brown, curly hair, and blue eyes that sparkled with amusement. The girl startled, not expecting the boy to have sneaked up behind her.  _

_ “Jonaahhhhh!” she whined. “Don’t be mean!” She stomped her foot and puffed out her cheeks.  Jonah chuckled.  _

_ “Not my fault I’m sneaky. Also it isn't my fault you’re deaf! You couldn't hear a troll if it shouted in yer ear!”   _

_ Shooting the boy a glare, (Name) folded her arms and looked in the opposite direction, but soon dropped the stance when a rustle was heard from the bushes. Both the hobbits stared at the source of the noise until a little rabbit popped out of the leaves, twitching its nose and its whiskers trembling slightly. _

_ “Aah!” (Name) exclaimed. “It's adorable!” Scared by her shriek of joy, however, the animal retreated back into the forest. The girl instantly took off after it, but then stopped when she caught sight of Jonah’s hesitant face. “Joringel  _ Anguselmo  _ (L/N),” she teased him with his full name, “are you too scared to go into the forest?” _

_ Jonah’s face took on a look of defensiveness, but he replied, “I really don't know. It doesn't seem smart to me...I mean, there could be something dangerous that could hurt you!” _

_ (Name) playfully laughed, “Then I guess if you're my guard, you'll have to follow me!” And with that, she dashed off into the bushes. Without a single moment of hesitation, Jonah ran after her. _

_ The trees were thickly woven together, and (Name) had to slow down so she wasn't hit by a branch. She was aware of Jonah struggling to keep up with her, but she could see the rabbit in the middle of a clearing ahead of her. Finally, they burst out into the opening.  _

_ “(Name)!” Jonah yelled. The playful tone was gone from his voice, and replaced by a worrisome one. “We need to go back now - it's not safe!”  _

_ “Relax!” (Name) shot back. “What's there to be worried about? You're just being a scaredy-cat.” _

_ “It's not being a scaredy-cat if you know you're lost!” Jonah argued, looking nervously around the clearing. _

_ “Jonah, please!” The little hobbit girl’s energy was focused on his knitted face. “Loosen up! You're always no fun when we’re close to the forest!” _

_ “That's because the forest is dangerous! I'm going!” Jonah turned and acted like he was going to walk off. _

_ “Hah!” (Name) scoffed. “You're too scared to go on your own!” As the boy turned back, struggling to make up a retort, she noticed another rustling noise coming from behind him. Thinking it was another bunny, she perked up, but instantly shrank back when something long and black started sliding out of the trees. Another black  _ thing  _ followed it, followed by another, and another, until there were eight in total hovering over her cousin. _

_ “(Name), what's wrong?” Jonah asked, puzzled by the expression of terror on the young girl’s face. He started to turn in the direction of her gaze. The eight black - legs - shot towards him.  _

_ “Jonah!  _ No!”  _ (Name) ran to shove him out of the way. As she pushed him hard behind her, a black leg caught her arm, ripping into her soft, (s/c) skin. A flash of pain came with it, and she tumbled off her feet. “ _ Jonah!”  _ she screamed, as red leaked from the wound. _

_ “(Name)!” the seven year old boy yelled back desperately as the legs wrapped around his body and pulled him back. Despite the pain, (Name) got up and ran towards him, trying to pull him from the legs. One of them let go of Jonah’s body and struck her, sending her a couple steps backwards clutching her stomach and arm. As she looked up with tears making her vision blurry, her wet (e/c) tinted orbs met eight other red ones. They gleamed with a hunger.that chilled (Name) to her very bones. She watched helplessly as Jonah was dragged into the bushes. _

_ “ _ Help!”  _ she screamed in every direction. “Help!” _

_ “My cousin was taken!” _

 

~

(Name)’s consciousness suddenly returned with a nasty throb in her head, pounding and echoing through the wound where the orc had struck her - how many days ago? Two, three? She had lost track ever since they had entered … Mirkwood ….

The hobbit’s train of thought halted with a screech.  _ Oh, no, no nononono, I did something, I lost my mind, didn’t I, I did something…..  _ She tried to recall what it was, she knew it was bad, but she just couldn’t remember!  _ Am I like that fish from the stories, who’d always forget things? What was her name, Doly? Dopey? Donny? AGH, it doesn’t matter!  _ Freeing herself from her crazed thoughts, (Name) forced herself to get up, but soon found she was restrained by a sheet of white. She tried to kick her way out, but they were quickly entangled in the web. 

Web?

Oh. 

Oh  _ no.  _

Nonono. This was  _ not happening.  _ (Name) suddenly remembered what happened. No details, as she was taken by madness at the time, but she most definitely knew that she had talked about her cousin. How could she do that? She didn’t ever share that for a reason. And now she was stuck in the same predicament.

Squeezing her fists, she discovered that the creature that had wrapped her up had left her sword in her hand. Closing her eyes and muttering a quick prayer for luck, (Name) thrust upwards with the blade. When she reopened her eyes, she found that the threads holding her down had been sliced right through. (Name) gazed in amazement at her sword. “I thought spider silk was extremely strong,” she told it, “but wow. You are extremely sharp. And you deserve a name, so I’m going to call you Sharp. Wait, no, that’s a terrible name compared to Orcist. Blade? Shiny? Jack-?”

Her thoughts were interrupted by a hiss from behind her. Whirling around, she found two things at once. One: there was an extremely large arachnid waiting to stab her with its fangs. Two: she was not on solid ground. The surface she was suspended on was made of many strands of spider silk, which bounced with every move she made, putting the spiders on edge. 

She waved her sword -  _ maybe I’ll call it swing _ \- and the spiders hissed at her. She tried to lift her feet so she could run, but she was stuck. She pulled frantically, but to no avail. The eight-legged monstrosities seemed to notice her distress. They chattered, as well as spiders could chatter, and shuffled towards her. (Name) pulled harder, but her boots refused to be pried from the sticky coating. 

_ Screw it. I’ll risk a rib.  _ The hobbit cut the webs off her feet, and fell to the ground. She landed on her back, but no sound came from her chest, indicating her safety. It still hurt a crap ton, though. Hissing, somewhat like the arachnids trying to eat her, she got to her feet. (Name) looked up, and her stomach dropped. 

Dozens of shining red, black, and milky eyes stared down at her. They moved from side to side, up and down. Seeming to glow, they were the only things noticeable about the monsters, as their bodies hid in the shadows. It was like (Name) was in a dream - more of a nightmare, though - and they were monsters laughing at her silliness. How could she possibly escape? She couldn’t. Not with them looming over her, biding their time until they pounced. 

Suddenly (Name) was a little girl again. Lost in the woods, chased by monsters that were born from the dark. The eyes started swirling, engulfed but not lost in a whirlwind of shadows, hissing,  and laughter. She started shaking, and her tiny sword that could do no harm started slipping from her grip. The demonic creatures seemed happy with their effect on her. Their eyes flickered, as they descended downwards to finally end her misery. 

(Name) knew she was forgetting something. Surely she wasn’t here alone. She had brought someone. Someones? Who was she with before she was captured? 

The madness was starting to overtake her again, further plunging her into the nightmare. She looked around. Maybe she would see them. Who she had led into the woods. She  _ had  _ led someone in here right? That was a mistake. Why would she do that? If the girl survived, she would have learned her lesson. But it didn’t look like that now. She was probably going to die right here, right now-

_ “..the forest is dangerous!” _

(Name) shook her head to clear it of thoughts, then slowly bent down to grab her sword.

_ “..you know you’re lost!” _

Her chest ached, reminding her of all the injuries she had sustained, all for seemingly nothing.

_ “(Name)!” _

The spiders hissed more and crawled in even closer.

_ “What were you doing? You nearly got yourself killed!” _

_ What?  _ was all (Name) could think at this delusion. It was a different voice that was speaking now.

_ Did I not say that you would be a burden? That you would not survive in the wild and that you had no place amongst us? _

(Name) raised her sword, filled with determination once again.

_ I’ve never been more wrong in my life! _

“Come and  _ get me _ , web-shit!” (Name) yelled. As the spiders charged, their legs going  _ scritch scratch  _ against the foliage, the hobbit fished her ring from her pocket, which was thankfully still there, and stuck it on her finger. As soon as she did, the brown and gold leaves of the trees faded into grays and whites. The spiders’ eyes were dulled. But now she could hear their hisses more clearly. In fact, she could even make out what they were saying.

“ _ Kill it,  _ kiiiiill  _ it.”  _ They snarled at the spot that (Name) could last be seen. “ _ Feast, add to the feast! Dwarves and a hobbit, too….” _

Dwarves.

(Name) remembered.

It was silly that she had forgotten in the first place, but she remembered!

“No dwarves for dinner tonight!” she exclaimed, stabbing at the nearest spider. Her sword impaled its skull smoothly, and the spider sunk to the ground. 

“ _ Kill it!”  _ The snarls were more furious now. “ _ Feast! Feast!”  _ (Name) ignored the cries and slashed at another approaching arachnid. It tried to sink a venom-filled fang into her skin, but she dodged, and sliced at it again. “ _ Deaaaaath!”  _ it hissed as it convulsed disgustingly and died.

As (Name)’s sprained hand (which no one had actually noticed) brushed her side, she noticed that the weight of her ring on her hand was missing. She also noticed that the eyes of the monsters were now gleaming red again. Whipping around, she faced yet another spider. This one was toying with her ring, which was somehow still a bright gold. “No!!” she yelled furiously, determined to protect her treasure. “No, no no no!!” She struck again, but this time sliced into the belly of the monster over, and over, and over again, long after it was past dead. “Mine!” she shrieked at it when she was finished, holding up her ring. Then a shock of realization hit her, and she looked at the mess she had created. There was spider gore all over her blade, her cloak, and her pants. She had gutted out the creature in her anger. Taking a couple steps back, she gagged. “Oh...ew….ewewew…” she mumbled to herself, wide eyed at her actions.

(Name) spotted the ring, shining with glee at the gore, at the bottom of a puddle of translucent blood. She suddenly had the urge to dive after it, and she almost did. She took a step forward, about to lunge for the golden band, but she stopped herself. The girl started shaking. 

_ What’s wrong with me? _

She never should have picked up that ring. She had read so many books as a child, about cursed objects older than time itself. They could either kill the owner, destroy their lives, hurt those around them, or cause them to go mad with their need to keep it. Sometimes all four. 

_ But,  _ a voice in her urged,  _ you could just be rid of it after your quest! Who knows how helpful it could be in the future? In fact, you could use it to save your friends right now!  _

This was obviously the part of her that was entranced by the ring. Sadly, it was right. She needed the ring. At least for now. Reaching down, she carefully wrapped her fingers around it and picked it up. Still, despite all the gore that had just now coated it, it was brightly shining and perfectly clean. With a sigh, she slipped it on her finger, turning the world monochrome once again. 

~

The hobbit quietly and invisibly crept up to a large clearing. She ducked around a tree, then peeked out again, afraid of what she might see. A large, silver web was knotted between the trunks of the tightly knit trees surrounding the little field. It was about 20 feet up into the air, suspended with strong spider silk. On it and between the trees crawled many, many spiders, so many that (Name) couldn’t even count. A little gasp escaped her lips, and she clapped her hand to her mouth, worried one of them might’ve heard her. But no, the creatures were occupied with the 13 bulges hanging on the web.

“ _ Feast! Feast!” _ they hissed. “ _ Nice and juicy, the meat’s alive and kicking.”  _ This last one they commented when one of the lumps struck out at them desperately. Even though she was filled with fear, (Name) began to climb the tree she was behind. There were enough branches to use as handholds and footholds, but she was focused on being silent. Finally, she reached the web, and she carefully crept onto it from the tree, testing its weight. It seemed to hold her, so she kept going, slowly and steadily. The material seemed to glue her down with every step, but her boots, those trusty boots she had left Hobbiton with, ripped free of it.

Carefully, she made her way to the center of the web. There were many spiders here, and they were already a little suspicious, probably having felt her footsteps across the web. (Name) cautiously wove through them, glad she had decided to keep her ring. Her sword was up and at the ready. When she reached the 13 dwarves, she got to work, slowly cutting through threads binding them together. There were too many spiders, though, and they hissed, “ _ What is it? Who is there?”  _ Gritting her teeth, (Name) waited for the alarm to sound and for her to be eaten on the spot. The spiders went back to doing whatever they were doing, though. Suddenly feeling a little impression in her coat, the girl reached for the object, pulling out an acorn.  _ Where did I get this from? Oh, well… _

With all her might, she hurled it towards a tree trunk. A loud  _ thunk  _ noise emanated from the source, and all the spiders turned to it. “ _ What is there?”  _ one hissed. “ _ Who is there?”  _ They all scuttled away towards the source of the noise, somehow not trampling (Name). With a breath of relief, she sawed through the dwarves bindings faster. 

Bombur was the first to appear through the white cords. Ripping off her ring, (Name) put her finger to her lips. He nodded, and she continued to cut through the sticky silk. The sound of the arachnids started increasing as well, and she looked desperately at the 12 other dwarves she had to free. Getting an idea as the spiders snarled and hissed at her, approaching extremely quickly, (Name) started dragging her sword through the web around the dwarves. She had made a full circle, cutting the last threads, when the first spider lunged. Saluting it, she and the web began to fall.

(Name) landed with a  _ whump _ .  _ I am done with hard landings,  _ she thought to herself as she quickly stood up. The rest of the dwarves were breaking out of their cocoons, looking extremely grateful as they reached for their weapons. The spiders were not, however. The hobbit glanced upwards to see a monster freefalling towards them. With a yell of warning, she pushed the now-standing dwarves backwards. 

Thorin, who was standing nearby, charged into the lines of arachnids. The rest of the company followed, hacking into any bodies nearby. (Name) just held her sword up meekly and waited for a monster to approach her. She didn’t have to wait long - in fact, three spiders cornered her at the same time. “Hold on, now!” she yelled. “Take turns!” With a swipe, she tried to attack the nearest spider, but it dodged backwards and kept advancing. Another spider, then another, and another joined the attack, until (Name) was facing six. With a gulp, she backed up, her blade pointed at the creatures.

Her back hit a tree trunk, and that was when the hobbit knew she was in trouble. The spiders kept advancing, preparing to sink their fangs into her. The dwarves were busy with their own spiders, unable to help her. (Name) raised her sword, but with a sinking heart, she realized it wasn’t enough. The nearest spider lunged at her.

Cowering against the tree, (Name) expected to be fatally injured and envenomed. But no, she was perfectly alive a moment later. Looking up, she saw a long haired and tall figure shooting arrows at the spiders in quick succession. His hair was a light silver, his ears pointed, and his movements graceful, as he shot down spiders one after another.

(Name) watched in awe, too stunned to reach for her sword, which had slipped out of her hand. A glance to her right told her that the elves - they were elves, right?- had jumped into action for the dwarves as well. What was strange was that some of them had their bows pointing at the company, who looked furious. 

Tendrils of suspicion snaking their way across her mind, (Name) reached for her sword (she still hadn't come up with a name for it), only for a boot to rest on it. She tugged dumbly, then glanced up at the owner of the foot. Standing there was the same elf that had killed the spiders surrounding her. “Can't let you take that,” he stated simply. Her brow crinkled, (Name) kept a hand on the hilt. “It's mine,” she argued. 

The elf seemed to resist the urge to roll his eyes as he quickly nocked an arrow and aimed his bow at her. “Can't let you take that,” he repeated. (E/c) orbs wide, (Name) backed up a couple steps. She ran into the other dwarves, who had been corralled into a circle. Their faces were sullen and stony, but Thorin’s was impossible to read.  _ Oh, god…what’s going to happen now? _

“Search them,” the blond elf ordered. The other elves lowered their bows and stepped forwards to check the many pockets of the dwarves’ cloaks. A woman with a heart shaped face and bright orange hair stepped towards (Name). With a twitching mouth, she picked up the hobbit’s fallen sword. As she stood straight, the elf commented, “I would not expect to find a young hobbit in the midst of many old, traveling dwarves.” She turned, and her olive eyes met the girl’s wide (e/c) ones. “We will not hesitate to treat you the same as them.” (Name) gulped as she lifted her hands in surrender.

The elf, despite her words, didn't take much time in searching (Name). There wasn't anything to find, however, despite the many weapons being pulled from different hidden pockets in the other dwarves’ coats. She watched Kili sigh as the elf searching him pulled out dagger after dagger. After the redheaded elf finished her search, she bound (Name)’s hands together with rope behind her back, where she couldn't reach the ring in her pocket.

“Where did you get this?” the blond elf asked Thorin, holding Orcist in his hands. 

“It was given to me,” the dwarf king sullenly responded.

The elf scoffed. “Not just a thief, but a liar as well.”

The elves started forcing the dwarves to move forwards, and (Name) went along. It didn’t take much shoving to get her to move, but Fili had planted both feet in the dirt, and had to be pushed to take a single step. Finally, with a strong thrust, he tripped over his own boots, nearly landing on his face. Straightening up, his pride in pieces, he started to walk on his own. And (Name), with a sigh, followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE LINK IS IN ALL THE OTHER CHAPTERS  
> GET IT THERE


	6. Is it just me? Or is Kili really....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH  
> MY  
> GOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD  
> IM SORRY  
> IM LAZY AND FORGOT TO PUBLISH  
> BLUHH  
> DOUBLE OR TRIPLE UPLOAD TO MAKE UP FOR IT

The company had marched through the rest of the forest, through more clearings, and even across one treacherous tree that had fallen across a ravine. Finally, they approached an extremely large fort - castle? - (Name) wasn’t sure what to call it. The gates creaked open at the blond elf’s word, and the dwarves were ‘escorted’ inside. They were led across thin and narrow walkways, suspended in the air by something the hobbit couldn’t see. The design of the kingdom was naturally elegant, but dark, unlike Rivendell. 

_ Why am I comparing the place to Rivendell?  _ (Name) questioned herself as they were led into a dungeon.  _ These elves are locking us up!  _ And indeed, the elves were forcing each dwarf into their own cell, pulling a last dagger from Fili’s coat.

“This is not the end of it, you hear me?!” Dwalin protested.

“Let us out of here!”

“Get off me!”

(Name) didn’t argue as she was unbound and shoved into a small, gray cell of her own. Right outside was a small waterfall and river, making her wonder to where it led. The red headed elf was just locking Kili’s cell to her right when he asked, “Aren’t you going to search me? I could have anything down my trousers.”

“Or nothing,” the elf stiffly replied, seeming to be holding back a smile. (Name) lifted an eyebrow as she listened. The elves started leaving the dungeon, and the hobbit heard a bit of conversation from the end of the hall. Once everyone had left, the dwarves started to throw themselves against their cell doors.

“Enough!” Balin hollered. “Leave it! There’s no way out. This is no Orc dungeon; these are the halls of the Woodland Realm. No one leaves here but by the king’s consent.” Sinking to the floor of the cell, (Name) noticed that Thorin was not with the dwarves.

~

Thorin had returned a couple minutes later, but (Name) was already bored out of her mind.  _ Forget years of being in prison - An hour is enough! _

“Did he offer you a deal?” Balin inquired once he was locked up again.

“He did,” the dwarf king grumbled. “I said he could go  _ Ish kakhfê ai’d dur rugnu _ him and all of his kin!”

By the way all the dwarves groaned, (Name) could tell it wasn’t a very nice thing to say.

“Well...that’s it, then,” Balin gave up sadly. “A deal was our only hope.”

The company wallowed in silence for a minute until footsteps could be heard approaching. Thorin shot to his feet, and (Name) perked up warily. An elf dressed in pastel colors was passing the dwarves. He came to a stop in front of the girl’s cell and started to unlock her door. 

“What are you doing?” Thorin sharply demanded. The elf gave no response as (Name)’s cell door swung open. She stood up, taking a step backwards. 

“The Elvenking requires your presence,” the elf simply said. Giving no argument, (Name) let her hands be bound once again, and led out of the dungeon. She could feel the stares of the dwarves on her back, but she couldn’t do anything about the summons.

They followed the path exiting the dungeon, to a walkway that joined with the one they had come from. The hall led up to a grand throne, and on it sat the Elvenking. He had flowing, white hair, a sword sheathed at his side, and seemed to have an impatient expression on his face.

As (Name) walked up the hall, she felt afraid to meet his piercing stare. There were only a few other elves, including the blond one from earlier. All of their eyes were on her, causing her to gulp worriedly.

“How old are you?” was the first question from the king. He had a low voice, one that commanded authority.

“17,” (Name) responded immediately.

“Name?”

“(Name) (L/N).”

The king thought for a moment. “Why is it that such a young hobbit is traveling with … dwarves?” he inquired.

Unsure of what to say, the girl kept her head down. She didn’t want to reveal any information of the company’s when Thorin so obviously seemed to have refused….

“I-I’m not at liberty to say,” (Name) stated creatively.

She could hear one of the other elves scoff quietly at this. “(Name), was it?” the Elvenking drawled. “Well, you are probably aware that my meeting with Thorin didn’t go so well, and now I am simply irritated. You can give me the information we need to know, or you can force me to do this a much harder and, simply, time-taking way.”

If only (Name) could reach her ring, still tucked away in her front pocket! She hadn’t thought to take it out and keep it in a pocket that could be accessible whether her hands were tied or not. “Uh…” she started. “It’s really, not my information to give…” After a moment of hesitation, she added ‘ _ sir’. _

As Thranduil stood up, and unsheathed his sword, (Name) could hear the alarm bells start to wail. The king started to storm down the hall towards her.  _ Oh no, oh no oh noohnoohno…. _

Glancing desperately between the elves watching, who just watched, (Name)’s mind raced. “Wait!” she cried out as the Elvenking pointed his sword at her. “Wawawawait - one moment -”

Clearing her throat and gathering her dignity, (Name) started again, “The dwarves told me that you had betrayed them - that you didn’t help them, when Smaug took Erebor.” The king lifted an eyebrow. “Why?”

“I warned Thror of what would occur if he continued to hoard his gold,” Thranduil answered calmly. “He was too foolish and stubborn to listen - like all dwarves.”

Sighing, the king sheathed his sword again, and (Name) let out a breath. “ _ Tyii heyn al,”  _ he told the elf that had brought her in. “And (Name), do consider leaving the dwarves,” he mentioned to the girl as an afterthought. “Do know that they won’t hesitate to leave you behind as dead weight.”

(Name) couldn’t think about anything else as she was brought back to the dungeon.

“(Name)!” Fili exclaimed once she came into sight. “Are you okay? What did he ask?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she mumbled an answer, distracted as her cell door slammed shut. She sunk to the floor and didn’t answer anyone else’s questions.

~

(Name) was sure that everyone else but her was asleep. She wasn’t sure what time it was, but she wasn’t tired. Her thoughts raced, the only entertainment for her. Footsteps from the entrance told her there was an elf checking on the company, so she quickly faked sleep.

“The stone in your hand, what is it?” the voice of the orange haired dwarf came from the cell next to (Name). She was puzzled of whom she was speaking to, until Kili replied.

“It is a talisman. A powerful spell lies upon it. If any but a dwarf reads the runes on this stone, they will be forever cursed.” The elf took a step back, then turned and started to walk off.

“Or not,” Kili contradicted himself, letting a playful tone enter his voice, “depending on whether you believe in that kind of thing. It’s a token.”

(Name) couldn’t see what Kili was doing, but from the elf’s smile, she determined that he had grinned at her. “A runestone. My mother gave it to me so I’d remember my promise.”

“What promise?” the woman asked.

“That I will come back to her.”

A sad silence hung over them, and the elf dropped her gaze.

“She worries. She thinks I’m reckless,” Kili noted to lighten the mood.

“Are you?”

“Nah,” the dwarf responded confidently. Soon after that came the sound of a small object hitting the ground, and (Name) could see it rolling across the ground. Before it could fall off the walkway, though, the elf stopped it with her boot. She heard Kili stand up and take a step towards the bars of his cell.

“Sounds like quite a party you’re having,” he commented. (Name) strained her ears, noticing the sounds of cheering and music coming from above. 

“It is Merith-en-Gilith, the Feast of Starlight. All light is sacred to the Eldar, but Wood Elves love best the light of the stars.”

“I always thought it is a cold light, remote and far away.” (Name) couldn’t help but agree with Kili’s words.

“It is memory, precious and pure,” the elf argued softly. After a moment, she added, “Like your promise.” She reached down and picked up Kili’s stone, then handed it back to him gently. “I have walked there sometimes, beyond the forest and up into the night. I have seen the world fall away and the white light forever fill the air,” she told the dwarf. Her words were filled with mystery, but the hobbit couldn’t figure out how. 

“I saw a fire moon once. It rose over the pass near Dunland, huge; red and gold it was, filled the sky,” Kili started. “We were an escort for some merchants from Ered Luin, they were trading in Silverbuck for furs. We took the Greenway south, keeping the mountain to our left, and then, this huge fire moon, right in our path. I wish I could show you…”

The two continued to talk, their voices filled with something (Name) could not place. Longing? Happiness? Still unsure, she turned quietly and forced her gaze away from the beautiful elf. Instead, her eyes met the blue-gray ones of the light blond elf, who was watching the scene from another platform.

~

(Name) woke at an unearthly hour, probably startled by a loud noise from the festivities going on above her. She sat up, her bruises aching in protest. The stone floor was hard and cold, not at all comfortable, and the rushing river underneath her warbled. 

_ How long will I have to stay like this?  _ The thought suddenly crossed her mind. Thorin had informed everyone that the Elvenking was willing to keep them locked up for a hundred years, but she was sure it was an exaggeration. At least, she hoped. 

_ Why don’t we escape?  _ the devilish side of her mind prodded.

_ It’ll get someone hurt, or make enemies with the elves,  _ the angelic side responded matter-of-factly.

_ The dwarves already hate the elves, a little more won’t do anything. _

_ But what about someone getting hurt? _

_ It’s a risk we’ll have to take. See, escaping here will be eeeeeasy peasy. _

_ Give me an example! _

_ We have the ring, and there’s a river right there to escape from. See? Easy peasy lemon squeezy mac n cheesy- _

_ Hold on a second!  _ (Name) told both the voices. An idea was starting to develop in her head. The river...it probably led out of the elven kingdom. And seeing no one in her locked cell would definitely raise an alarm…

A grin spread across the girl’s face. Her idea was ready and (hopefully) foolproof. All she had to do was wait for the dwarves to wake up as well. With a sigh, she leaned back, knowing that it would take a couple hours.

Wait. 

What was Mac n’ cheese?

~

    When the first waking noises came from (Name)’s right, she leapt to her feet. “Kili? You awake?”

     “Mm” the sleepy response was.

     “Can you wake up the others?”

     “Mmhmm,” the short haired dwarf mumbled. The sound of someone turning over emanated from his cell. 

      “Fili...get up…” he muttered. An  _ mm  _ came from the cell next to him. (Name) rolled her eyes.  _ At least they’re being quiet. _

       Finally, everyone was awake and cognizant. “Ok, everyone,” (Name) started, “I have a plan to get out of here.” Instantly, someone (probably Bombur) yelled, “Thank the gods!” 

      (Name) instantly shushed him, worried that someone might check on them before she could explain. “Ok, ok, first part! Stay in the left, back corner of your cell, so you won’t be seen, and stay absolutely  _ quiet. _ ”

      “Why?” Thorin questioned. “What will you do?”

      (Name) didn’t answer, just continuing, “Now we wait for the guard. They seem to check on us hourly-“

      “Why wait?” Fili’s voice playfully suggested. (Name) instantly understood what he meant. “Oh, nonononono-“ she started.

      “Hey, elf-scuuum!” Fili yelled at the ceiling. “Come check on us! You have no idea what we’re doing!”

      Fast footsteps guaranteed that their request was accepted. 

      Keeping her laugh contained, (Name) said, “Ok, now! Against the wall of your cell!” She slipped on her ring and waited, the blue waterfall in front of her turning gray.

      The sound of boots against rock came from the entrance to the dungeon. (Name) crossed her fingers and hoped her plan would work. 

      An elf quickly came into view. What the girl didn’t expect was that it would be the blond elf from yesterday, since she had assumed he was royalty of some sort. 

      “What are you doing in here?” he scoffed, barely glancing at the cells as he stormed down the walkway. The young hobbit noticed the jangle if keys from his belt. “You think yelling at the ceiling will hel-“

      (Name) held her breath as he paused in front of her cell, which would appear empty to him. The elf picked the keys from his belt and used one to unlock the cell, checking all the walls, even the ceiling, for her.

     Stepping back, he yelled towards the exit, “Raise the alarm! The hobbit has escaped!” What he didn’t notice was (Name) slipping out of her cell, invisible, and gently picked the ring of keys off the elf’s belt. He stormed away, not even glancing at the dwarves.

     Pulling off her ring and stuffing it in her pocket, (Name) lifted the keys and jangled them in front of the dwarves. They silently cheered as she unlocked each of their cells. Once they were all gathered outside the row of prisons, (Name) stood to face them all. 

_ That was really too easy, _ a voice in her head piped. 

_ Not with the voices again… _ (Name) mentally groaned. 

     “What now?” Balin’s voice made the hobbit refocus. 

      “Now,” she started, glancing confidently at the river, “we…” She looked at the river again.  _ Oops.  _ In all her excitement, she had forgotten a crucial fact when creating her plan.

      “What is it?” the same dwarf inquired. (Name) looked up again. “Can you all swim?” she hesitantly asked. General nods and assent resonated from the group, and she sighed in relief.

“Thank goodness,” she started, “since I can’t.”

       Fili and Kili seemed to instantly get her idea, since a mischievous grin spread across their faces. “What does that matter?” Fili questioned. He took a couple steps back, then made a running leap into the river flowing underneath them. Kili followed, dragging (Name) along with him.

       “Nononowait!!” she cried. “Are you deaf?! I can’t swim!” Nonetheless, Kili jumped off the edge, pulling (Name) down with him. The fall was shorter than she expected, but she hit the cold water face first, spluttering and coughing as bubbles streamed around her. Kicking furiously, she managed to resurface, thrashing her arms and legs to stay afloat.

       “Five minute swimming lesson!” Fili started cheerfully, surfacing near (Name) and guiding her arm to the elf-made bank of the river so she didn’t drown herself.

       “Lesson one - staying afloat!” At this time, the other dwarves were cannonballing into the water, sending splashes everywhere. “You just need to make slow circles with your feet like you’re pedaling one of those new-fashioned bicycle things!” 

_ What’s a bicycle?  _ (Name) wondered, trying to mimic Fili’s leg motions. She let go of the bank to try it, but instantly clutched it again out of fear. She noticed Thorin had followed the company into the water, and was now expertly and quickly stroking in the direction the river was flowing. 

       “Or,” Kili interrupted the ‘lesson’. “You could just try to stay afloat and try to not drown.”

       “Sounds good to me,” (Name) sarcastically stated, tentatively letting go of the bank again and, this time, somehow staying afloat. Fili and Kili began to start to swim forwards, and the hobbit tried to keep up, mimicking the arches they were making with their arms. She splashed noisily, but somehow managed to move forwards.

After a few minutes, it became to hard to manage swimming that way. The hobbit was becoming extremely tired, and had a hard time swimming in a way that kept her mouth close to the water. (Name) decided to keep both her arms under the water, and started to paddle furiously to keep herself afloat. 

_ This is still exhausting,  _ she thought while her arms and legs swished back and forth under the water,  _ but at least my head isn’t as close to the water.  _

As they traversed the underground river, they came upon a cavern. Ahead, the water seemed to start rushing, white foam forming as it oo hit jagged rocks. The company swam to the side of the space, and held on to crags and stalagmites. They all stared at the image before them. Fili was the first to speak up.

“So,” he started, “I don’t suppose anyone brought a foldable boat?” The dwarves all shook their head, taking the question seriously. 

“Well… we can’t just swim through it. We’d be bashed on the rocks in half a second,” muttered Balin. Then, at the far end of the cabin and close to the wall the company was clinging to, a clattering sounded. 

A cluster of barrels came crashing down, dowsing the dwarves and hobbit with the splash. They swirled around, bumping and catching on stalagmites as the followed the current. 

“Oh.” Fili said. “That works, I guess.”

~

“ _ No no no no no no no no no no no! _ ” (Name) cried as she clutched an empty barrel, tossed between the rapids. Somewhere, she heard Kili and Fili laughing.  _ Aren’t we supposed to be quiet?  _ The thought crossed her mind, but she realized that the dwarves were having too much fun riding the barrels to be silent.

A light could be seen from not too far away in front of her, and (Name) realized, gratefully, that the currents were slowing down. The river led through a main courtyard and past a gate, which was wide open. 

“We’re going to be out in the open soon!” she whisper-yelled to the company, her words somehow heard over the rushing water. Thorin heard her and nodded, then ordered, “In your barrels!”

What it would’ve looked like to any passing elf was about a dozen empty barrels floating their way down the river, but in each one hid a dwarf, and one a hobbit. (Name) clung to the sides of hers, hoping and praying it wouldn’t topple over and plunge her into the water again. After a couple of minutes of this, the girl found herself wondering how far they had gone, and she tentatively peeked out of her barrel. When her eyes found ink black ones, she knew she had made a mistake.

Many orcs burst out of the tree line a couple yards away. The dwarves somehow stood in their barrels, yelling out warnings to each other. (Name) tried as well, but her barrel tipped, and she scrambled to get it upright again. Then, adding to the situation, a group of elves burst out of the kingdom.  _ Aaggh!  _ (Name) mentally slapped herself.  _ This is where all those easy wins backfire! _

“ _ Holo i nonnon!”  _ a heavily armored elf yelled to another stationed on top of a guard post. He pulled a large lever, and the gates that they had hoped to escape through started creaking closed. “No!” Thorin exclaimed, trying to paddle to go further.

Orcs started climbing up onto the guard post, shooting multitudinous arrows at the elves and the dwarves. “Watch out!” Balin warned as an arrow came whizzing by (Name). She stumbled, and her barrel tipped again, sending into the deep water. 

This time, (Name) tried to stay under for as long as possible so she couldn’t be targeted, but eventually she ran out of air. Lungs straining, she paddled up to the surface and caught a quick breath. In that moment, she noticed Fili had climbed out of his barrel and was racing towards the lever that opened the gate. 

“Fili!” she heard Dwalin yell, and a sword flew over her head. The blond dwarf caught it and continued to fight his way up the stairs. (Name) would’ve kept watching, but a wave washed over her, and she was sent under again. 

The hobbit forced her eyes open, though the water stung them, and tried to stroke forwards.  The iron bars were blurry, but (Name) could see them. She pushed at them, kicked them, to no use. Resurfacing for a breath, she was about to dive back under when the gates creaked open again. The current caught her and she was pulled out. She spotted Fili from the guard post above fall into an empty barrel, but she could tell something wasn’t right by the way his face was contorted in pain.  _ Was he hurt? _

(Name) had no more time to contemplate, since she had to quickly push herself out of the way to avoid a rock. Arrows were still raining down into the water, but only black ones. It wasn’t safe to stay underwater with so many rocks and all the arrows, so the girl tried to find her barrel again. She kicked forwards, but suddenly, something caught her from behind. Tugging, she tried to swim upwards, but whatever or whoever it was held her tunic fast. (Name) turned to see an arrow had caught the back of her shirt. She tried to rip it off, but her strength was draining quickly with no air. 

Leaving the arrow, (Name) paddled upwards to the surface for air. It was inches away from her face, and no matter how much she strained or stretched, she wasn’t able to reach it. Her lungs burned for oxygen, but she kept her mouth tightly closed, resisting the urge to try to breathe. Eventually, however, she choked in some water, then coughed it back out in a vicious cycle. Her head was pounding, her lungs screaming for air, black and red spots dancing in her vision. Another breath, and she wasn’t coughing it out anymore. Slowly, her vision faded to black. The last thing she felt was the arrow being pulled out of the river bank and arms carrying her up to the surface. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there person.  
> Check out the exact same godamn fic on Wattpad here: Oh wait its in the first four chapters go there you lazy


	7. Oh Hey a Gigantic Fire-Breathing Dragon that wants me dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Le double update

(Name) slowly opened her eyes, and (e/c) met cloudy gray skies. Her clothes were wet for some reason, and her throat hurt and felt rough. She had a thin wool blanket over her, doing practically nothing to ward off the cold. 

Immediately after she recognized it was cold, the girl started shivering. She curled up into a ball, and her teeth started chattering. Pulling the blanket closer to her, as little as it helped, she tried to gather her thoughts. What happened? 

(Name) puzzled over this for a few minutes, and remembered that they had been captured and held captive by Thranduil. She shot up immediately, her head swiveling around, checking if she was still in her cell. 

When she saw her surroundings, she was extremely puzzled for a minute. Then she felt extremely stupid. 

_ We escaped. I led the dwarves out… how did I forget that? Silly hobbit.  _ Shaking her head at herself, she took note of where she was. 

A small fishing boat, swaying gently with sails flapping, carried the small girl across a very… long lake (A/N. Haha). Looking ahead, she spotted what was probably their destination. 

Warm, flickering lights flared from paned window sills. A cluster of small, squat houses sat upon wood pillars jutting from the lake. As cozy as it would have looked, it had a sad air.

“You’re awake,” an unfamiliar voice noted. (Name) shot to a standing position, turning towards the source. Her eyes traveled up a tall figure - a human? - with short brownish blackish hair and a small mustache. His cloud-colored eyes were focused on the hobbit.

“Er...yeah?” (Name) hesitantly. “Unless I’m just dreaming and we didn’t really…”

She was interrupted by the sound of Kili yelling, “(Name)’s awake!”

“Nevermind,” the girl told the man. 

As Kili came up to her, he had a grin seemingly plastered on his face.

“Is something wrong?” (Name) asked him, lifting an eyebrow at his expression.

“Uh, well, we have to pay our ferryman, Bard, here, and we’re 10 coins short,” Kili admitted. (Name) just gave him a look.

_ Bard? Well, now, I’m totally not thinking he sings when he’s drunk. Nope. Not at all.  _

“And…” he continued, “Fili was hit by an arrow.” Seeing (Name)’s face turn to horror, he added, “But he’s all right now!” (Name) sighed in relief.

“Good,” she murmured. “And also, I don’t have any coins.”

“Damn it, and Bofur won’t give up what he has…” Kili cursed, the end of his sentence drifting off as his eyes caught a magnificent sight. (Name) followed his gaze to a humongous, sole mountaintop closer than she had ever seen it. 

“Bless my soul,” Bofur, from nearby, gasped. “Erebor!” Suddenly, he fished inside his coat, pulled out a clinking pouch, and shoved the entire thing into Kili’s hands. 

“That’ll do, I think so, yes,” the dwarf murmured absentmindedly as he waddled to the edge of the boat. 

(Name) had to admit, the sight was breathtaking.  _ It must be even more so for the dwarves,  _ she realized.  _ This is their home, the one that they’ve been separated from for most their lives.  _

The girl looked up at the mountain again. She couldn’t even see up to the top. Its summit was shrouded in clouds, and the rest was made blurry by mist and fog. The basic shape was still there, though, and it was still awe-inspiring with its size.

(Name) felt a tap on her shoulder, and turned around to see Thorin. He stared at Erebor for a moment, then looked down at the hobbit. He had a strange look in his face, somewhat awkward. Since she had been in the company for a while, she could recognize that the king was asking if she was alright. 

“I’m fine.” The girl reassured him. The dwarf nodded, and headed over to the side of the fishing boat, obviously in a bit of a hurry to look upon his kingdom again. 

She could sense someone coming up behind her, and she turned slightly to see Bard also staring at the peak. He was clearly amazed as well, and he shook his head to rid it of his entrancement. Turning to Kili, he ordered, “The money, give it to me, quick.”

“We’ll pay you when we get our provisions, not before,” Thorin argued.

“If you value your freedom, you’ll do as I say,” Bard calmly countered. “There are guards ahead.” (Name) turned to see the battered roofs and gloom of the town ahead.

~

The smell was everywhere, and (Name) couldn’t stand it. On her clothes, on the barrel, in her nose - but that obviously made sense, since she was squished in a cask that had once carried wine. It was toxicating, and she couldn’t stand it.

“(Name), what’s he doing?” Dwalin, from the next barrel, asked in a whisper. The girl squinted through a crack.

“He’s...talking to another man,” she reported. “And, pointing straight at us!” All of the dwarves were hidden in the barrels to conceal them. “They’re shaking hands now…”

“What?” Thorin muttered from (Name)’s left. 

“That villain!” Dwalin hissed. “He’s selling us out!”

Suddenly, mounds of dead fish came pouring down onto (Name)’s head. She spluttered in surprise, the smell of alcohol soon being overtaken by the scent of fish. When she was decently covered, the torrent stopped, and she could hear the other dwarves shifting around and cursing. 

The boat started to move again, slowly and steadily. Through the crack, (Name) could see an approaching building, and a gate restricting the boat’s passage.

“Oh, god,” Dwalin sighed somewhat loudly.

“Quiet!” Bard muttered. “We’re approaching the toll gate.”

As they moved further forwards, a loud voice yelled, “Halt! Goods inspection, papers please. Oh, it’s you, Bard.”

“Morning, Percy,” Bard could be heard greeting the tollman. 

“Anything to declare?”

“Nothing, but that I am tired and hungry, and I wish to go home.”

The shuffle of papers could be heard. (Name)’s ears strained to pick up every last bit of conversation.

“You and me both,” Percy grumbled. A couple footsteps receded but shortly came back, and (Name) spotted the papers being passed back to Bard. “Here we are, all in order.”

“Not so fast!” an unfamiliar voice interrupted, grabbing the papers. It sounded nasal and whiny, and (Name) was instantly suspicious. She watched the new man skim through the papers.

“Consignment of empty barrels from the Woodland Realm,” he read. “Only, they’re not empty, are they, Bard?” The hobbit’s breath stuck in her throat. “If I recall correctly, you’re a bargeman, not a fisherman.” The man picked up a fish from a random barrel.

“That’s none of your business,” Bard defended. 

“Wrong!” the man countered. “It’s the Master’s business, which makes it my business.”

“Oh, come on, Alfrid,” the bargeman argued. “Have a heart! People need to eat!”

“These fish are illegal,” Alfrid finished. “Empty the barrels over the sides.”

And with that, many footsteps could be heard thumping onto the desk. (Name) felt hands grab her barrel and start to tip it over. She held a hand over her mouth to keep herself from yelling as the fish fell out into the river below. Bracing herself against the sides of the barrel, she tried her best to stay in.

“Folk in this town are struggling. Times are hard. Food is scarce!” Bard started to raise his voice.

“That’s not my problem.”

“ And when the people hear the Master is dumping fish back in the lake, when the rioting starts, will it be your problem then?”

There was a pause in their conversation, and then (Name)’s barrel was set upright again, just a couple fish covering her. She let out a breath she had no idea she was holding.

“Ever the people’s champion, eh, Bard?” Alfrid scoffed. “Protector of the common folk? You might have their favor now, bargeman, but it won’t last.”

“Raise the gate!” Percy ordered.

After a moment, Bard started to pole the boat forwards once more. “It’s a small town, Alfrid,” he yelled back, “everyone knows where everyone lives.” 

After a couple minutes, the boat slowly came to a stop at a dock. Bard came around to the barrel to (Name)’s right and started to pull the fish out of it, trying to help Dwalin up.

“Get your hands off me,” he growled, standing up in the barrel. (Name) followed suit and pushed the fish off her, crawling out of the small container. Kili’s borrowed clothes had gotten all greasy from the fish, and the only thing she could smell was a salty stench. 

Bard flipped a coin to a man that stared on in shock. “You didn’t see them, they were never here,” he muttered to him. “The fish you can have for nothing.”

Turning back to the company, the bargeman ordered, “Follow me.”

They crept only in alleyways and under the houses, which was easy, since many of them seemed to be on stilts. (Name) was (once again) at the back of the group, and she tried to stay unseen. However, she met the gray eyes of a woman, whose jaw dropped at the short figures.

A boy, probably younger than the girl, ran up to Bard. “Dad!” he whisper-yelled. “Our house, it’s being watched.” The bargeman looked down at Thorin, and as their eyes met, a lightbulb seemed to go off in his eyes. (Name) gulped.

~

(Name) had never, ever thought that she would be climbing out of someone’s toilet.

 

And yet, here she was. 

.

The hobbit reached upwards, taking the sides of the toilet and pulling herself up. The boy from earlier grabbed her hand and helped her up, out of the lavatory. He wordlessly pointed up the stairs, at Dwalin’s grumbling figure, and she nodded. As she walked up the staircase, two girls that resembled Bard stared on.

“Dad, why are there dwarves climbing out of our toilet?” the taller girl asked.

“Will they bring us luck?” the little one childishly questioned.

Soon, the dwarves were sitting around a fire, their wet things drying. (Name) thanked Bard’s younger daughter as she gave her a warm blanket, quickly wrapping herself in it.

“A dwarvish wind-lance,” Thorin’s shocked voice drew (Name)’s attention, and she turned to follow his gaze. Outside the window, she could see a wooden tower. On top of it lay a humongous crossbow, only with four arms instead of two. 

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” (Name) commented. Indeed, Thorin’s eyes were wide at the sight of the weapon.

“He has,” Balin murmured. “The last time we saw such a weapon, a city was on fire. It was the day the dragon came.”

And he plunged into a story. “The day that Smaug destroyed Dale. Girion, the Lord of the city, rallied his bowman to fire upon the beast,” the old dwarf described. “But a dragon’s hide is tough, tougher than the strongest armor. Only a black arrow, fired from a wind-lance, could have pierced the dragon’s hide, and few of those arrows were ever made.”

“His store was running low when Girion made his last stand. But alas, the very last arrow simply bounced off Smaug’s hide, just like all the others.”

“Had the aim of Men been true that day, it would’ve been very different,” Thorin muttered bitterly. Bard took a step forwards toward the king. “You speak as if you were there,” he pointed out.

“All dwarves know the tale,” was the sullen response.

“Then you would know that Girion hit the dragon. He loosened a scale under the left wing. One more shot and he would have killed the beast.”

Dwalin chuckled sarcastically. “That’s a fairy story, lad, nothing more,” he told the bargeman.

Thorin, standing up, faced Bard. “You took our money,” he demanded. “Where are the weapons?”

“Wait here,” Bard ordered, turning and going downstairs. (Name) watched until she couldn’t see him anymore, then turned to Thorin, Balin, Kili, and Fili’s conversation.  _ Fili!  _ she realized. She would’ve asked if he was okay, but the topic of their conversation was unfamiliar, and so she listened.

“Tomorrow begins the last days of autumn,” Thorin said under his breath.

“Durin’s Day falls morn after next,” Balin added, “and we must reach the mountain before then.” 

“And if we do not? If we fail to reach the hidden door before that time?” Kili questioned hushedly.

“Okay, what’s all this about a hidden door and Durin’s Day-?” (Name) tried to ask, but she was interrupted.

“Then this quest has been for nothing,” Fili answered, either not hearing or ignoring the girl. She really did hope it was the former of the two.

Just then, Bard came back into the house. He set a small package down on the table and opened it for the dwarves to see its contents. As the company crowded around it, their faces had the same expression - disgust. (Name) leaned forwards to see. 

“What is this?” Thorin demanded, picking up a strange, seemingly pointy stick.

“Pike-hook. Made from an old harpoon.”

“And this?” Kili asked, holding up another weird contraption.

“A crowbill, we call it, fashioned from a smithy’s hammer,” Bard explained. “It’s heavy in hand, I grant, but in defense of your life, these will serve you better than none.”

“We paid you for weapons,” Gloin scoffed. “Iron forged swords and axes!”

“It’s a joke!” Bofur ungratefully declared.

Bard, as the dwarves threw the ‘weapons’ back onto the pile, calmly said, “You won’t find any better weapons outside of the city armory. All iron-forged weapons are kept there under lock and key.”

(Name) was a little frightened by the look passed between Thorin and Dwalin.

“Thorin,” Balin called the king. “Why not take what’s been offered and go? I’ve made do with less; so have you. I say we leave now.”

“You’re not going anywhere,” Bard ordered. Everyone’s heads snapped to him in suspicion.

“What did you say?!” Dwalin demanded, taking a step forwards.

“There’s spies watching this house and probably every dock and wharf in the town. You must wait till nightfall.”

Hearing this, the company settled back down, making themselves comfortable on the floor. (Name) spotted Fili in the corner of the room, wincing in pain. He glanced up, making sure no one was looking, then touched the bandages on his leg tenderly. The hobbit’s brow wrinkled in concern, but she turned away to listen to Thorin and Dwalin.

“We will go for the armory,” Dwalin stated. “Take the weapons and leave.”

Thorin nodded, his eyes sparking with yet another plan.

_ Oh, no…. _

~

It was pitch black, and the company was seemingly the only moving thing in all of Laketown. At least, until two watchmen with lanterns marched nearby, and (Name) had to press herself against a wall to remain unseen. “Shh!” Dwalin shushed them, “keep it down!”

“As soon as we have the weapons, we make straight for the mountain,” Thorin ordered. “Go, go!”

The dwarves started to form a pyramid against what was the armory wall, and (Name) watched as Nori took a couple steps back. Taking a running start, he had enough speed to climb up the pyramid, and reached the second story window. As he dove through, Thorin pointed at the girl. “Next.”

With a gulp, (Name) also started running toward the dwarves. Fighting against the temptation to close her eyes, she sprinted up the pyramid, using their shoulders as support to climb up. Finally, she reached the window, where Nori helped her in.

(Name) was almost blinded by the amount of shiny, steel weapons that was kept in the armory. She reached for a short sword that resembled the one she had lost in the Elven kingdom and picked it up out of its supports. Kili had now jumped into the room, followed by Fili, who stumbled on impact. (Name) and his brother quickly rushed to help him, but he waved them off. 

Finally, Thorin had dived into the armory, and he quickly got up to start pulling axes and swords off the walls. (Name) soon found herself loaded with 20 pounds of weaponry. It really wasn’t that heavy, but she spotted Fili struggling with about the same weight.

“You all right?” Thorin asked him.

“I can manage,” the dark-haired dwarf grinned. “Lets just get out of here.” The king nodded and placed another sword onto the pile his niece held. Fili followed his brother down the stairs, and (Name) also started in the same direction. As the dwarf took a couple steps down, though, his injured leg gave way and he tripped, sending the multiple weapons he had flying. They landed with a terrible clanging. In the distance, the cries of watchmen could be heard.

“Run!” Dori yelled out the window to the waiting company. (Name) also tried to escape through a different door, but guards rushed into the room, pointing pikes at her and the others. One of them had Fili held with a dagger to his throat. His expression was guilty and pained, and he looked up at Thorin sadly.

One of the guards started dragging (Name) down and outside, where it had started to snow. She fought, trying to reach her new sword, but could not. The rest of the company had also been confronted, and now they were all heading towards the largest building in all of the little town. 

“Get off of me!” Dwalin yelled at the guard pushing him roughly forwards. Crowds of people had started to form as the company reached the building. The doors of it were opened by yet more guards, and out stormed a plump, redheaded man. 

“What is the meaning of this?” he exclaimed, still pulling on his coat.

“We caught ‘em stealing weapons, sire,” the black haired man from before, Alfrid, explained.

“Ah, enemies of the state, then,” the redhead, probably an important figure, assumed.

“This is a bunch of mercenaries if there ever was, sire,” Alfrid declared.

“Hold your tongue. You do not know to whom you speak,” Dwalin boomed. “This is no common criminal; this is Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror!” He gestured to Thorin, who stepped forwards. The crowd murmured in excitement.

“We are the dwarves of Erebor,” Thorin declared. “ We have come to reclaim our homeland. I remember this town and the great days of old. Fleets of boats lay at harbor, filled with silks and fine gems. This was no forsaken town on a lake! This was the center of all trade in the North.

“ I would see those days return,” Thorin earnestly went on. “I would relight the great forges of the dwarves and send wealth and riches flowing once more from the halls of Erebor!”

The people of Laketown cheered, nodding and clapping. Suddenly, a black haired man pushed his way through the crowd hurriedly, and as he got closer, (Name) recognized him as Bard.

“ Death!” he exclaimed. “That is what you will bring upon us. Dragon-fire and ruin. If you awaken that beast, it will destroy us all.”

“You can listen to this naysayer,” Thorin contradicted him, “but I promise you this; If we succeed, all will share in the wealth of the mountain. You will have enough gold to rebuild Esgaroth ten times over!”

The people applauded, shouting in excitement. The redheaded leader of them was nodding and smiling. 

“All of you! Listen to me!” Bard yelled. “You must listen! Have you forgotten what happened to Dale?!”

There were people sadly dropping their gazes and shaking their heads, (Name) noticed with sinking hopes.

“Have you forgotten those who died in the firestorm?!”

There was a general ‘no’ from the crowd.

“And for what purpose? The blind ambition of a mountain-king so riven by greed, he could not see beyond his own desire!”

At this point, Thorin stepped up to Bard and stared up at him, challenging him. The crowd behind them was getting louder and louder, until the leader, the Master, stepped forth. 

“Now, now, we must not, any of us, be too quick to lay blame,” he consoled them. “Let us not forget that it was Girion, Lord of Dale, your ancestor, who failed to kill the beast!”

He pointed at Bard, whose face flushed as he looked at the ground. Thorin looked at him in shock, and anger, (Name) didn’t fail to notice.

“It’s true, sire. We all know the story: arrow after arrow he shot, each one missing its mark.” Alfrid called. Bard’s head snapped up. Glaring at Thorin, he stomped over until the two were faced to face. He pointed to the east. 

“You have no right, no right to enter that mountain!” 

“I have the only right.” Thorin turned to face the master. 

“I speak to the Master of the men of the Lake. Will you see the prophecy fulfilled? Will you share in the great wealth of our people?” The people quietly watched in anticipation, along with (Name) and the rest of the company. 

“What say you?” Thorin challenged the Master. He remained quiet for several seconds, then smiled and pointed his finger at Thorin.

“I say unto you...welcome! Welcome and thrice welcome,  King under the Mountain! ” 

The Master opened his arms in welcome, and the crowd erupted in cheers. Bard looked on silently. (Name) jumped up and down, clapping in excitement.

Thorin climbed up a few steps and turns to face the audience; the people hugged each other in excitement and joy. Thorin and Bard simply stared at each other.

~

In the morning, the villagers were crowded along the sides of the main channel as it was loaded with supplies. (Name) stood awkwardly to the side, her arms stocked with weapons and packages of food.

“Hey, uh, guys?” she asked hesitantly. “Where’s Bofur?”

“If he’s not here,” Thorin responded, dumping another load of supplies onto the boat, “we leave him behind.”

“ We have to, if we’re to find the door before nightfall. We can risk no more delays,” Balin added. (Name)’s brow scrunched up at yet another mention of the ‘door’.

“Balin,” she called. “Please, what’s the door? What’s Durin’s Day?”

The white bearded dwarf turned. “Ah, I keep forgetting you weren’t there,” he stated. “In Rivendell, Lord Elrond deciphered the runes on Thorin’s map.  _ Stand by the gray stone when the thrush knocks, and the setting sun with the last light of Durin’s Day will shine upon the keyhole _ . Then the hidden door to Erebor will open.”

(Name) thought about that for a moment.  _ Gray stone? Rocks, caves, boulders? And a thrush is a bird. Birds don’t have fists. They can’t knock. Unless they repeatedly bang their heads into the wall, but that’s just stupid.  _

They marched along the pier and the dwarves begin to board the boat. They were fully decked out in armor and regal clothing. Thorin stopped Fili before he could get in the boat.

“Not you. We must travel with speed, you will slow us down.” Fili smiled, obviously thinking Thorin was joking. 

“What are you talking about? I’m coming with you.” Thorin remained still, his face unmoving. 

“No.” (Name) turned to look at Thorin, confused.

Fili, who was already in the boat, turned to look at Thorin and Kili. 

“I’m going to be there when that door is opened, when we first look upon the halls of our fathers, Thorin.” Fili protested, seeming a bit desperate now. 

“Fili, stay here. Rest. Join us when you’re healed.” Thorin patted his hand on Kili’s shoulder, though it did nothing to console him. The young dwarf still looked shocked and betrayed. 

Thorin continued onward, headed towards the boat. His nephew turned away, unable to even look at the little boat leaving without him. 

Oin sighed. He climbed off the boat, taking one of his packs with him. 

“I’ll stay with the lad. My duty lies with the wounded.” (Name) watched helplessly.  _ Would I stay here for Fili, after all the adventures we’ve gone through just to get to Erebor? _

“Uncle, we grew up on tales of the mountain. Tales you told us!” Kili argued, a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “You can’t take that away from him!”

“Kili,” Thorin started, but was interrupted.

“I will carry him if I must!” the dwarf declared. In the meanwhile, (Name) noticed Fili trying to pull away from Oin, who was examining the bandage on his leg.

“One day you will be second in command, and you will understand.” Thorin did not let up in his argument. “I cannot risk the fate of this quest for the sake of one dwarf, not even my own kin.”

(Name)’s attention was pulled back to Thorin as he spoke. She tried to make sense of his words.  _ I cannot risk the fate of this quest… for one dwarf….  _ That really wasn’t like the king she knew.

At this, Kili stepped out of the boat, taking his pack with him. Thorin reached out, trying to stop him.

“Kili, don’t be a fool,” he….asked? Pleaded? Demanded? (Name) wasn’t sure. “You’re well enough to stay with the company.”

“I’m well enough to be with my brother,” Kili declared, unmoving. Thorin dropped his gaze and stepped back onto the boat, moving another box of supplies. (Name) stayed in the same spot, still unsure of whether she should stay or go. “Fili,” she settled for asking, “are you going to be okay?”

“Of course!” Fili smiled, a grin that was obviously forced. “You go chase away Smaug for us and bring back the treasure!”

(Name) nodded, still hesitant.The musicians of Laketown started to play their instruments, causing a loud cacophony, as they were obviously not well practiced. The Master climbed up to a raised platform, from where he waved, and the people cheered and clapped. He started to speak, but the hobbit wasn’t listening, since Thorin had just tossed a rope to her that she barely caught. “Pull it in!” he called. 

(Name) did so, and the knot holding the boat to the port loosened and fell. The dwarves started to row down the canal. As she collected the rest of the rope, she waved back at Fili, Kili, Oin, and Bofur, who had just joined them. 

“Goodbye!” Dori yelled at the cheering crowds. (Name) kept her eyes on the four dwarves as long as she could. It soon became difficult to identify them in the mass of people, but she squinted to make them out. Suddenly, was it Fili? started to collapse, and the other dwarves rushed to help. (Name) ran to the edge of the boat, trying to see better.

“What is it?” Dwalin asked her.

“Fili,” she responded breathlessly, “I think there’s something wrong.”

But, she knew, it was too late to turn back.

~

(Name) stood at the edge of a valley, her toes hanging off the edge of the rocky slope. The air was crisp and cold, and a chilly breeze rushed past her, brightening her nose to a pink and making her pull Kili’s coat further around her. It still smelled of fish, but she was grateful for the barrier against the cold.

Below the company, (Name) could see the ruins of a large city. “What is this place?” she murmured, her breath forming a little cloud in front of her face.

“It was once the city of Dale,” Balin answered. “Now it’s just ruins. The desolation of Smaug.”

“The sun will soon reach midday,” Thorin observed, glancing at the sky. “Let’s find the hidden door into the mountain before it sets. This way!” He started walking towards a steep mountain slope, but (Name) hesitated.

“Isn’t this the overlook?” she questioned. “Didn’t Gandalf say to wait here-?”

“Do you see him?” Thorin thundered, interrupting her. “We have no time to wait upon the wizard. We’re on our own. Come.” He continued to make his way across the slope, and (Name) glanced back at the city, conflicted.

After a while of searching, the company found steep and treacherous stairs leading up a huge statue of a dwarf. (Name) had to focus on her feet and not the intricate stonework, or she would’ve fallen. Finally, they reached a little clearing that they could safely stand on. Thorin ran into it, turning to look at the walls surrounding it.

“This must be it,” he declared breathlessly. “The hidden door.” He held up a small key, and the dwarves cheered and yelled. “Let all those who doubted us rue this day!” Thorin declared to the sky.

“ Right. We have our key, which means that somewhere, there is a keyhole,” Dwalin let his sentence drift off as he stepped towards a wall and started exploring it with his fingers. (Name) also joined him, along with the rest of the company. They spread out, searching for a tiny keyhole. Thorin walked to the edge of the clearing and looked out at the orange sky and setting sun.

“The last light of Durin’s Day will shine upon the keyhole,” he muttered. He turned back, seeming to calculate what the statement meant. The sun was sinking lower and lower, and the darkness of night crept across the sky. (Name) ran from place to place quicker. Everyone was now frantic.

“Nori!” Thorin yelled. The dwarf, who the hobbit knew as a thief, ran to a wall and began tapping it with a spoon while holding his ear to a cup held against the wall. (Name) turned to see Dwalin straining to push the rock.

“We’re losing the light!” Thorin yelled. (Name) faltered when she noticed the sweat and desperation knitted into his forehead.

“Come on!” Dwalin ordered. He kicked the wall impatiently with his boot.

“Be quiet! I can’t hear when you’re thumping!” Nori muttered.

“I can’t find it...it’s not here!” Dwalin huffed.

(Name) turned back to gaze at the horizon. The sun was just a sliver now, sending its last yellow and pink rays across the universe. It seemed too late. “Break it down!” Thorin snapped.

Dwalin, Gloin, and Bifur started to hack and smash the stone surface with their weapons, to no avail. “Come on!” Thorin yelled again.

“It’s no good!” Balin interjected. “The door’s sealed. It can’t be opened by force. Powerful magic on it.”

The sun disappeared behind distant mountains, and the dwarves started to drop their weapons, disappointed. (Name) could feel a pit in her stomach.  _ After all the efforts...after everything we did…. _

Thorin stumbled forwards, the old map in his hands. “The last light of Durin’s Day will shine upon the keyhole. That’s what it says!” He looked up desperately. “What did we miss?” The king approached Balin. “What did we miss, Balin?” he asked, his voice cracking.

“We’ve lost the light,” the old dwarf admitted. “There’s no more to be done. We had but one chance.” The company started picking up their weapons and heading back down the staircase. “Come away. It’s...it’s over.” Balin gestured for (Name) to follow.

“Wait- wait a minute!” (Name) cried, trying to get the dwarves’ attention. They paid her no mind, like usual. A wave of anger surged over her, and she stormed up to where Thorin stood.

“You can’t give up now!” she yelled at him. “You made me come all this way, and I risked my life for this moment!  _ You  _ risked your lives for this moment! You simply can’t give up now!” 

Without saying anything, Thorin shoved the map at (Name), then dropped the key to the ground. It clattered, and the girl’s eyes were fixed on it until it stopped clattering. By then, it was dark, and if she tried to follow them down, she would certainly fall and break her skull. “Right!” she yelled. “Leave me up here in the dark! Again!” She wasn’t sure what she meant by  _ again _ , but it didn’t matter.

(Name) spun on the ball of her foot and stormed back to the wall. She glanced at the map, then looked up to the navy skies, her (e/c) orbs squinted in desperation.

“Stand by the gray stone,” she repeated to herself.  _ Check. _

“When the thrush knocks.” Looking around, she couldn’t find a thrush anywhere.  _ Hold that thought. _

“The setting sun...and the last light of Durin’s Day will shine.” (Name)’s brain hurt. “Last light, last light! It’s too late, the light is gone....”  _ Think, (Name)! _

In frustration, the girl banged her forehead against the wall. The  _ thud  _ was satisfying, but even when she lifted her head, the noise continued.  _ Tk. Tk. Tk.  _ Looking to her right, (Name) found a small bird - a thrush? - thwacking a snail against a rock. Her heart leaped, and her eyes sparked once more. Glancing back, she noticed that the stone she had hit her head against was now illuminated.  _ The last light…. _ (Name) looked at the sky.  _ The last light! _

The hobbit gasped a little as a small keyhole could be seen. It was the size of the key...but where had the key gone? Thorin had thrown it, but now she couldn’t find it.

“Come back!” (Name) yelled down at where she hoped the dwarves were. She didn’t see them, though. “Come back! It’s the light of the moon! The last light of autumn! But the key - oh, where’s the key?” She crouched down and started reaching out carefully for the key. The last thing she wanted was to go tumbling down the cliff because she didn’t see the edge. Suddenly, with a  _ clink _ , her boot touched the metal piece, sending it flying. “Oh, shit,” she cursed.

Another boot, however, stepped on the string attached to the key, stopping it from falling off the clearing. As (Name) stood up, she faced the dwarves, who were all smiling in relief at her. She beamed herself as Thorin picked up the key and examined it, also grinning.

The King Under the Mountain stepped forwards, facing the keyhole. Gently, he inserted the key into the hole, then turned it. Mechanisms were heard clicking and turning behind the rock, and (Name) leaned forwards excitedly. With a push, Thorin opened the door.

“Erebor,” he murmured, ice-blue eyes wide. He stood in the threshold of a tunnel leading into the mountain. The dwarves looked on in awe.

“Thorin…” Balin started, his voice choked. He sentimentally rested a hand on Thorin’s shoulder, and they stepped together into the tunnel.

“I know these walls…these walls, this stone,” Thorin breathed. “You remember it, Balin. Chambers filled with golden light.”

“I remember,” Balin agreed.

Slowly, (Name) filed into the tunnel as well. Her heart was pounding. She could feel the power of the kingdom, the dormant state pulsing as if alive. She ran a (s/c) hand against the smooth and cold wall.

Nori pointed at a carving in the wall above the door they just entered. It appeared to be a throne, with a circle above it, sending rays of light out in all directions.

“Herein lies the seventh kingdom of Durin’s Folk,” Gloin read. “May the heart of the mountain unite all dwarves in defense of this home.”

“The throne of the king,” Balin explained, noticing (Name)’s curious expression.

“And what’s above it?” she asked.

“The Arkenstone.”

“What’s that?” 

“That, (Name),” Thorin answered, “is why you are here.”

His look of determination instantly filled (Name) with the same emotion, and she squared her shoulders, ready for whatever might come.

~

Balin led (Name) down a tunnel, into the interior of the mountain.

“You want me to find a gem?” (Name) clarified.

“A large white gem, yes,” Balin answered.

“Well, wouldn’t there be many of them down there?” the hobbit questioned, confused.

“There is only one Arkenstone. You’ll know it when you see it,” the dwarf said vaguely.

“A-Alright,” (Name) finished, looking down the tunnel. They started to walk again, but Balin paused.

“In truth, lass, I do not know what you will find down there,” Balin earnestly told her. “You needn’t go if you don’t want to, there’s no dishonor in turning back.”

Sure enough, the urge was there. There was a pull in her gut, screaming that this was dangerous and she might die. But another voice told her that it was wrong to turn back.

“Balin, I signed up for this.” She placed a hand on the dwarf’s shoulder. “It is what I came for, as the burglar, and I really have to try.” Balin started to chuckle appreciatively.

“It never ceases to amaze me,” he started, “the courage of hobbits. Go now, with as much luck as you can muster.” (Name) nodded, and started further down the tunnel. 

“Oh, and (Name)...” Balin called, making her pause and look back. “If there is a live dragon down there, don’t waken it.”

(Name) nodded, walked a couple more steps, then stopped and turned back. Balin was gone.  _ Way to give me second thoughts,  _ she thought sarcastically, trying to muffle her own fear. Finally, after a deep breath, the hobbit tiptoed towards Smaug’s lair.

(Name) silently walked through a large doorway. She was making slow progress forwards, but then again, it was worth not waking up a large and fire breathing dragon. Pressing herself against a wall, she turned a corner and found herself on an elevated walkway leading to a staircase. Suddenly, she stopped. Her jaw dropped, and her eyes went cloudy, blinded by the brightness of what was ahead.

_ Gold. _

_ Lots, and lots. _

_ Of gold. _

Coins, jewels, weapons, cups, and all sorts of treasure, piled up like sand dunes. Everything gleamed like sunlight.

“Ohh…” she let the sigh escape her lips, then quickly tightened her mouth again, worried that Smaug would hear her. Carefully, with quick little steps, she darted down the stairs, standing in front of the gold. With a deep breath and a prayer, she reached out and stepped atop the treasure.

The noise was loud, louder than she had hoped. Another step guaranteed that her hobbit skills were useless here. “A large...white jewel…” she murmured to herself. “Very helpful.” In the sea of treasure, there must’ve been hundreds of large white jewels.

_ Could that be it?  _ (Name) picked up a shiny gem. It looked like an oversized pearl and didn’t seem to emit any power. She deemed it useless and threw it over her shoulder, wincing when it clattered and sent gold flying.

“Shhh,” she breathed, “shhh.” After everything fell silent again, (Name) continued to make her way up a large mountain of gold. “Arkenstone...Arkenstone….” she muttered. She picked up another jewel, causing a large avalanche of gold coins. The hobbit froze in place as they uncovered a red mass. It seemed to slowly rise, then sink again, as if breathing. 

_ Smaug. _

It seemed like he was still asleep, and (Name) was about to tiptoe away when he snorted, causing more gold to fall off him. The girl could now see his snout, the burning scarlet scales that were infamous in seemingly all of Middle Earth. As his body shifted, the gold on which (Name) stood moved, and it appeared to her that she was standing on him. Quickly, she scurried down the pile. Ducking behind a pile of gold, she watched as Smaug raised his snout, and opened his eyes.

They were yellow and glowing, with only an obsidian vertical line as a pupil. (Name) could feel their burning gaze as they swept the mounds of gold. Remembering the ring in her pocket, she fished it out. After a moment of hesitation, she slid it onto her third finger, and then everything went monochrome.

“Well, thief,” a growling and rumbling voice thundered. Smaug sounded like two boulders scraping together, but like honey at the same time, in a way that made (Name) more frightened than ever before. “I smell you. I hear your breath. I feel your air. Where are you?”

Panicking, the hobbit dashed down the mounds of treasure. She knew the dragon could see her footsteps and the dislodged gold, but her mind was clouded with terror. Smaug followed her faster than she would’ve expected. His claws latched onto pillars for support, causing his wings to expand. (Name) ducked behind a stone outcropping as he continued searching.

“Come now, don’t be shy,” Smaug hissed. “Step into the light. There is something about you, something you carry. Something made of gold, but far more... _ PRECIOUSSSSS.” _

The last word reverberated in (Name)’s head again and again, echoing loudly. Biting her tongue to keep herself from crying out, she clapped her hands over her ears. Even though her eyes were squeezed closed against the mental pain, flames burst into her vision, forming an eye. Finally, she yanked the ring off and looked up, meeting the gaze of Smaug.

“There you are, thief in the shadows,” Smaug snarled. His eyes glinted at the sight of the small girl.

“I am not a thief...O Smaug the Amazingly Wealthy...sir!” (Name) tried to cover smoothly. “I...I merely wanted to see your amazingness….to see if you really were as great as the tales say.” Hearing this, Smaug stomped backwards a bit and drew himself up so that all of him was visible to (Name). He stretched out his massive bat-like wings, his tail flicking and eyes focused on the hobbit. “And am I?!” he thundered.

“Truly, the tales and songs fall utterly short of your enormity, O Smaug the Stupendous.” (Name) reassured. 

“Do you think flattery will keep you alive?”

“No- no, no.” The girl stuttered. This was bad. This was  _ very, very bad.  _

“No, indeed. You seem familiar with my name, but I don’t remember smelling your kind before. Who are you, and where do you come from, may I ask?” Smaug snaked his head closer to (Name) as he asked this. She opened her mouth to speak, but suddenly, she spotted something off to the side. A small, white gem glowing with an unnatural light, buried under one layer of coins.

“I- I come from under a hill.” The hobbit called, stalling for time. 

“Underhill?” (Name) nodded, sneaking a peek at the stone, silent. 

“And from under a hill to over hills I travel, unseen.” The dragon shifted his weight. 

“Impressive. What else do you claim to be?” Smaug nudged his head forward, until his teeth were inches from the girl’s face. Smaug exhaled, and (Name) grimaced at the smell of his breath.

_ That smells like hundreds of years of loneliness. What in all hell does he eat? Oh, right. Me. Dwarves. People in general.  _

“I am...luck-wearer. Sword-namer.” She kept stalling, frantically looking for a way out of this situation.

“Lovely titles; go on.”

“Tic-tac-toe-champion. Barrel-rider.” The dragon cocked his head. 

“Tic-tac-toe? And barrels? Now that is interesting. And what about your little dwarf friends? Where are they hiding?” (Name) panicked. 

“Dw- Dwarves? No, no, no dwarves here. You’ve got that all wrong.” She was near frantic now, her head swiveling from side to side. 

“Oh, I don’t think so,  _ tic-tac-toe-champion _ . They sent you in here to do their dirty work while they skulk about outside.” 

“I believe you’re mistaken, O Smaug the...Wonderfully Humongous,” the hobbit rambled. 

“You have nice manners...for a thief and a liar! I know the smell and taste of dwarf. No one better. It is the gold! They are drawn to treasure like flies to dead flesh.”

Smaug stomped about, claws clinking against thousands of priceless treasures. They also knocked the stone from where it had been, making (Name) stifle her gasp. It bounced down hills of gold, and the girl ran after it. Surely she had to, since it was almost definitely the Arkenstone the company had spoken of.

“Did you think I did not know this day would come, when a pack of canting dwarves would come crawling back to the mountain?!” Smaug roared. 

(Name) tripped and slid down the mounds of coins. Smaug followed after her, knocking over a massive stone pillar in his rage. When the pillar hit the ground, it sent a crash and the sound of jumping and clattering coins throughout the throneroom, shaking dust from the ceiling.

“The king under the mountain is dead! I took his throne! Do you dare so much as try and take it from me?!” Smaug searched for (Name), while she burst out of a pile of gold beneath the fire drake’s claw. The girl ran down a staircase, and leapt off the side as Smaug’s head swung at her. Her heart pounded and her mind raced, every instinct on overdrive.

“I ate his people like a wolf among sheep!” As the Arkenstone bounced rapidly down the mountain of gold, the hobbit burglar slid rapidly after it with Smaug in pursuit.  _ Why am I chasing after a stone? My life is danger! Oh yeah, and it’ll still be when Thorin finds out I don’t have the Arkenstone.  _ This realization came with a sad pang.

“I kill where I wish, when I wish! My armor is iron!” The Arkenstone and (Name) tumbled under a covered stone structure; Smaug stretched his wings to their full span and glided down to land atop the girl’s protection with a  _ thump.  _

“No blade can pierce me!” he roared, shaking (Name) down to her bones, and making her ears seem like they were about to bleed. He dived down, hitting the fields of treasure with the sound of metal meeting iron scales. But not before calling out;

“YOU ARE BUT PREY!” His holler shook the entire mountainside, and (Name)’s cry of fear was swept away by its ferocity. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Syke you thought there was a funny note here


	8. Oh no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A la triple update!

The dwarves, left in a clearing on the mountain, were put off balance by the sudden rumbling under their feet. They could see an orange glow coming through the door.

“What about (Name)?” Ori called worriedly, regaining his footing. 

“Give her more time.” Thorin ordered, also using his sword for support. 

“Trying to do what? To be killed?” Balin protested, stumbling to his feet. 

“You’re afraid.” This brought a moment of silence to the company. The only sound being the rumbles and roars coming from deep in the mountain. Balin then stepped up to Thorin.

“Yes, I’m afraid. I fear for  _ you _ . A sickness lies upon that treasure hoard, a sickness that drove your grandfather mad.” Thorin glared down at him. 

“I am not my grandfather.” 

“You’re not yourself. The Thorin I know would not hesitate to go in there-”

“I will not risk this quest for the life of one burglar.” Thorin interrupted. 

Balin looked at Thorin disgustedly.

“(Name). Her name is (Name).” He stomped away, past the rest of the company. He sat next to the entrance, out of the way of fire, but able to see if anyone came through the tunnel. 

Thorin stared contemplatively out into the night.

 

~

 

Smaug was searching for (Name), who was hiding under the stone structure.

“It’s Oakenshield. That filthy dwarvish usurper! He sent you in here for the Arkenstone, didn’t he?” The drake circled the structure; (Name), hiding beneath it, sees the Arkenstone at the other end of the structure.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” (Name) lied. The girl started to sneak over to the Arkenstone, but was forced to hide behind a pillar when Smaug searched for her beneath the structure. 

“Don’t bother denying it. I guessed his foul purpose some time ago. But it matters not. Oakenshield’s quest will fail. The darkness is coming, it will spread to every corner of the land.” (Name) was hiding behind a pillar, listening to every sound she could to try and track the monster’s movements. He started to laugh, a menacing and spine chilling sound.

“You have been used, thief in the shadows. You were only ever a means to an end. The coward Oakenshield has weighed the value of your life and found it worth nothing.” This caught her attention. 

“No! That’s not- no, you’re lying!”

_ They said I was only a burden. _

_ Stop,  _ she told her thoughts.

_ They didn’t pay attention to my injuries. _

_ Stop now! _

_ I am always last. _

_ I am nothing but the burglar. _

_ Thorin thinks I’m nothing but the burglar. _

Stop it!

_ Even Thranduil figured it out - he warned me too! _

(Name) tried to shake her thoughts away.

“What did he promise you? A share of the treasure? As if it was his to give. I will not part with a single coin. Not one piece of it.” (Name), hearing Smaug on top of the structure, focused on the Arkenstone lying a few feet away from the structure. While she made a break for it, Smaug saw her and whipped his tail, sending (Name), the Arkenstone, and gold flying. The hobbit tumbled and landed against a pillar. Smaug bellowed. 

“My teeth are swords! My claws are spears! My wings are a hurricane!”  _ And you’re also a stuck up braggy flame thrower,  _ (Name) couldn’t help thinking. The beast spread his wings wide, expanding them all across the throneroom. It left his chest bare, though, and the girl noticed a scale missing on the left side of Smaug’s chest.

“The weak spot,” she whispered.  _ There’s hope! _

“What did you say?” Smaug hissed. 

“Uh, I was just saying your reputation is really not as amazing as you, O Smaug the Tyrannical. Truly, you have no equal on Middle Earth.” As the girl spoke, she slowly backed up. She stood in a bare, open spot, and Smaug turned to face her.

Finished speaking, (Name) looked down and saw the Arkenstone lying just a few feet from her. She kept it in the corner of her sight, and looked up towards the dragon. 

“I am almost tempted to let you take it, if only to see Oakenshield suffer, watch it destroy him, watch it corrupt his heart and drive him mad.” The dragon and the hobbit stared each other down. (Name) was panting and out of breath.  _ What does he mean?  _ Smaug let out a huff, and reared his head. 

“But I think not. I our little game ends here. So tell me, thief, how do you choose to die?” Smaug’s chest began to glow with a warm light, illuminating the edges of his scales. His head streaked forward, eyes wide with hunger and jaws open, to eat the girl. Desperately, (Name) slipped her ring on her finger, and Smaug’s jaws snapped at air.  _ No hobbit for dinner tonight!! _ Swiftly, she began to sprint towards the Arkenstone, sweeping it up in her fist and holding it tight. It pulsed with a power, like the ring, but instead, warmer and friendlier. She would’ve paused to admire it if she wasn’t about to be burnt to a crisp.

Angrily, he raised his head again, the glow from his chest traveling up his neck. Roaring, Smaug bellowed out a massive wall of flames over the area in which the hobbit had been standing.

Unseen by him, coins on the ground move as the invisible Hobbit ran away and up the closest and most intact set of stairs. The fire licked her back, and the edge of her pants caught fire. Reaching a hallway, (Name) exhaustedly yanked off the Ring and continued to sprint, unable to stop the flames. Even though she was probably far enough, she kept going, bearing the burn of her ankle’s skin. Once she got a safe distance away, she tucked the Arkenstone into her coat and used her hands to swat and rip away the flaming pieces of cloth. She winced as she touched the red and inflamed skin.  _ That was stupid, I should’ve patted it out earlier.  _ Smaug could be heard raging about, blowing fire and destroying pillars. His roars echoed and bounced off the walls, and (Name) could see him loosening  dust and debris.

Footsteps came from the girl’s right, and she stood quickly, in time to see Thorin rushing down towards her. “You’re alive!” he exclaimed relievedly. 

“Well, not for long,” (Name) coughed sarcastically.

“Did you find the Arkenstone?” Thorin asked.

For a moment, the girl stared up at the dwarf. She was a little shocked that he would ask for a simple shiny rock when she was currently being chased by a dragon.

“Thorin, there is a  _ dragon  _ coming!” (Name) kept her tone low as she spoke.

“The Arkenstone!” Thorin demanded. Again, there was a pause.  _ Smaug said it would corrupt his heart, and destroy him,  _ (Name) remembered sadly.  _ But do I trust a dragon? Or am I loyal to the leader of the company?  _

“Did you find it?”

“N-No,” (Name) finally stuttered out the lie. “We have to get out.” She wouldn’t meet Thorin’s eyes. As she tried to take a step forwards, she was met with the blade of Thorin’s sword. (E/c) eyes wide, the hobbit stumbled backwards, the sword still touching her. The point was focused on her heart as she looked up.

“Thorin!” she cried in fear. “Stop!” The King Under The Mountain just stepped forwards, forcing (Name) back. His face was blank and stony, and his usually sky colored eyes seemed clouded. Suddenly, a deafening roar came from the hall behind them, and they both turned. Smaug was approaching over the mountain of treasure, snarling at Thorin. He lowered his blade.

The remaining dwarves rushed out of the tunnel, noticing an alive and well (Name) in relief. The expressions didn’t last long, as Smaug rushed at the company, his chest and neck burning an orange. “You will BURN!” he bellowed, a wall of fire nearly frying all of them. Just in time, they leapt off the staircase, landing in the mounds of treasure. Yet another tunnel led out of the room near them, and they dashed into it.

“Come on, (Name)!” Dori yelled at the girl, who was at the end of the line.  _ Again,  _ she thought, her thoughts full of potential betrayal.

Angrily, Smaug sent even more fire after them. As the dwarves filed into a door, (Name) was pushed forwards by the flames. She ducked into the room and, with a yell of surprise, threw her flaming coat to the ground. The Arkenstone tucked into it made a  _ thud  _ as it hit the ground, but no one noticed. She hastily stomped the fires out and picked the cloak up again carefully.  _ Sorry, Kili,  _ she thought as she slipped it on.

“Come on,” Thorin ordered. The roars of Smaug echoing behind them, the company dashed further into the mountain.

The company made their way to a stone bridge that spanned across a large chasm. Thorin lifted his hand to quiet the group. “Shh,” he ordered. Carefully, he peered around the edges of the tunnel, looking for signs of Smaug.

“We’ve given him the slip,” Dori muttered.

“No, he’s too cunning for that,” Dwalin argued.

“So where now?” (Name) questioned.

“The western guardroom,” Thorin responded. “There may be a way out.”

“It’s too high,” Balin protested. “There’s no chance that way.”

“It’s our only chance. We have to try.”

Quietly, they tiptoed across the bridge, looking back and forth cautiously. They all were caught off guard when a gold coin fell to the floor right in front of (Name) with a  _ tink.  _ Starting, she looked up, stifling her gasp. There was the underbelly of Smaug, just above the dwarves, searching. Another coin fell, probably embedded after years of him sleeping on them. Thorin motioned for them to keep moving. (Name), with a deep breath and closed eyes, followed.

~

Kili used a long strip of clean cloth to carefully bind Fili’s leg. He lay on Bard’s table with his head resting in a basket of walnuts. Tauriel was boiling water in the kitchen, and Oin mindlessly watched. 

“I’ve heard tell of the wonders of elvish medicine,” he sighed. “That was a privilege to witness.” Kili just shot him a look, and he shrugged. When he felt his brother move, his attention snapped right back. “Fili?” he asked carefully.

“(Name).”

As Fili tried to get up, Kili just murmured, “Lie still.” He was sure he heard his brother wrong.

“You cannot be her.”

Confused, Kili blinked as he looked up. 

“She is- she is far away,” Fili said to himself. His eyes were full of wonder, and who knew who he thought he was talking to? “She is far, far away from me. She battles dragons and restores kingdoms courageously in another world.” After a pause, he continued. “It was only a dream, but I feel it is more.”

Slowly, Fili looked up at Kili, and they locked eyes. 

“Do you think- she could have loved me?” His voice was only a whisper.

Kili just glanced away, not sure of the answer.

~

“Stay close,” Thorin ordered as he pushed open a door. “We’re at the western guardroom.” He started to walk in, but abruptly stopped. (Name) peeked over his shoulder, and her breath stuck in her throat.

Corpses. Rotten, dusty, cobweb-laden corpses. And so many of them - all belonging to the dwarves’ kin.

“That’s it, then,” Dwalin sighed. “There’s no way out.” Whatever exit previously existed here was covered by rocks, trapping the dwarves to die.

“The last of our kin,” murmured Balin. “They must have come here, hoping beyond hope. We could try to reach the Mines. We might last a few days.” Thorin took a defiant step forwards.

“No. I will not die like this. Cowering, clawing for breath. We make for the forges.”

“He’ll see us, sure as death,” Dwalin argued.

“Not if we split up.”

“Thorin, we’ll never make it,” Balin interjected.

“Some of us might. Lead him to the forges. We kill the dragon. If this is to end in fire, then we will all burn together.”

Thorin’s words chilled (Name) to the bones.

Soon, she was running out onto the bridge from earlier with Thorin and Balin. “This way!” the king yelled, not even bothering to be quiet. As (Name) ran, many emotions pulsed through her blood. Fear, definitely, accompanied by worry, betrayal, and hints of….could it be, excitement?

“Flee, flee!” a familiar, booming drawl came from their right. “Run for your lives! There is nowhere to hide.” Smaug’s claw crashed down onto a pillar holding the bridge up, and (Name) ducked as a piece of stone flew past her. 

“Behind you!” Dori’s voice echoed through the hall, causing the fire dragon to turn. He, Ori, and Bombur were dashing across another bridge, just like they planned. The hobbit grinned when she saw that the plan was working.

As Smaug lunged at the second group, (Name) sprinted forwards again, right behind Thorin. She kept an eye on the dragon, and she waited for the next group. Sure enough, as Smaug got a bit too close, Dwalin and Nori raced out onto another bridge.

“Hey, you!” Dwalin hollered. “Here!” In confusion, the fire dragon spun around and jumped at them, clawing the very spot they stood at just a couple seconds ago. That was all (Name) saw before she dashed into a tunnel. She followed Thorin forwards, with Balin on her heels. When she didn’t hear the oldest dwarf’s footsteps behind her, though, she stopped in confusion.

“It’s this way!” Balin called from a side tunnel. “This way! Come on!”

Turning, (Name) looked back at Thorin, who was still dashing down the main tunnel. “Thorin!” she called. The dwarf glanced over his shoulder, slowing down, then stopped suddenly, eyes focused on something at the end of the hallway. (Name) looked to to find Smaug snarling at them.

“Follow Balin!” Thorin yelled. Nodding, the hobbit took a step back hesitantly, her eyes focused on the expanding orange glow in Smaug’s neck. “Come on!” Balin urged her. She dashed out of the way just in time, fire exploding throughout the hallway. 

(Name) slammed into the wall, grunting. She looked up, only to see Thorin running the other way, then jumping into a deep pit. Startled, the girl was about to call his name, but he caught a chain with a  bucket at the end of it. 

Immediately, the clinking sounds of metal links rushing past pulley and levers rushed past (Name)’s ears. Though they were quickly drowned out by Smaug, who bellowed and shook the caverns. He dived after Thorin, who was descending rapidly towards the cavern floors, while snapping at the rattling chain.

They passed out of the girl’s line of sight, and Dwalin rushed to the mouth of the pit. He stared down, joined by Balin. He slammed his fist into the ground, growling. The brothers stood, Dwalin rushing down a nearby cave, while Balin ran to (Name). 

“We have to go.” He stated. Grabbing her wrist, the hobbit didn’t have much room to argue as she was pulled down dusty halls filled with memories. 

~

(Name) stared up at a series large, metal dwarf furnaces. Next to her stood Balin, along with ten other dwarves.

“The plan’s not going to work,” Dwalin muttered. “These furnaces are stone cold.”  _ What plan?  _ she mentally questioned, before bitterly realizing that it was probably no mistake she didn’t know.

“He’s right,” Balin added. “There’s no fire hot enough to set them ablaze.”

“Have we not?” a familiar voice came from the shadows. Thorin. “I did not look to see you so easily outwitted!” He wasn’t talking to the dwarves, (Name) realized after a moment. He was walking backwards, Nori behind him. A large claw crashed down on the edge of a pit, and a scaled leg followed it. 

“You have grown slow and fat in your dotage,” Thorin taunted the dragon further. Smaug’s snout emerged, and his mouth was twisted into a snarl.

“ _ Slug _ ,” Thorin hissed at him, clearly having a plan behind pissing off the creature. Smaug roared, advancing with heavy footsteps. Thorin turned and dashed behind a large pillar, calling for the others to do the same.

“Take cover! Go!” he ordered. (Name) didn’t hesitate before sprinting towards an unoccupied pillar, and she was just in time. 

A rush of flames shot past the company, and (Name) couldn’t help but cry out at the intense heat singing her sides. It seemed like the fires would never stop and they would be swallowed by a torrent of heat, but eventually the stream stopped. As it paused, new fires leapt up, and (Name) was worried for a moment the forges would melt away from the heat of it. Obviously, they didn’t; instead, they were lit, burning a warm orange.

Smaug paused and growled in confusion. He stepped back, and for a very naive moment the girl thought he was retreating. But the dragon was far from leaving them there. He slammed headfirst into the pillars separating them. They seemed immensely strong, though, made with latticeworks of metal, but they began to bend under the monster’s tremendous strength. 

“Bombur! Get those bellows working. Go!” Thorin called. Bombur nodded. With a couple steps backwards, he took an impressive running leap at a chain next to a forge. (Name) watched as his weight pulled the iron links down, and he landed on the handle of the largest bellows she had ever seen. They compressed, blasting air into the furnace, which turned the flames so hot they appeared blue. The hobbit noticed a large chunk of raw gold, just starting to melt. 

(Name) turned to see Smaug, still battering himself against the columns repeatedly. The sound rang throughout the caverns, and the girl could barely hear anything else. What little she could hear, though, was Thorin giving her orders. 

“(Name)! Up there, on my mark, pull that lever.” The girl followed his pointing finger to a large lever on a platform up on the forges. “How do I-“ she started to cry, glancing back, but Thorin had disappeared.

With a flash of determination, (Name) dashed towards the structure, her eyes seeking out little hand and foot holds to climb up. Her fingers cramped not a minute after she pulled herself upwards, but she bore the pain. A couple meters off the ground, there was a small platform that she pulled herself onto.

A hiss alerted (Name) to Smaug’s attention. She turned to find him snarling at her, making his way closer to the forges. A blossom of panic exploding in her lungs, the hobbit scrambled for another hand hold, ignoring the screaming in her arms from lack of practice. The dragon was getting closer, flames rising in his chest once again. With a heave, (Name) pulled herself up onto another platform.

The lever was on the highest platform, which was just about a meter away from where (Name) stood. It would be quite a jump, though, thanks to the slightly higher elevation of it. Closing her eyes and muttering a prayer, she took a step back, then made a running leap. Her feet sturdily planted themselves on the metal, and her arms swung to keep her balance, but she had made it. Just in time too, since Smaug’s mouth was opening in preparation for a blast of fire. 

Suddenly, his gaze turned, attracted by Thorin’s figure. The dragon snarled again. “Now!” Thorin yelled to (Name). She placed her hands on the lever, and with a deep breath, tugged it with all her might. With a _clank_ _clunk_ , it moved. Machinery seemed to click underneath her. She stepped back, waiting for a reaction.

Huge jets of water burst out of the wall behind (Name) soaring past her and slamming into Smaug, who stumbled back into the side of a furnace. Roaring in rage, he flapped into the air, thrashing wildly. The fire that was rising in his neck had been extinguished. 

The hobbit noticed a watermill beginning to turn, making a series of gears start to turn and causing a couple conveyor belts to begin operating. Heavy chunks of ores were piled in them. Bombur was still pumping the bellows up and down, making the fire blaze so hot that the impure gold started to glow and melt.

(Name)’s eyes noticed motion from Smaug, and she turned to find him creeping towards Thorin again. Desperately, she picked up a rock, and was about to throw it when a flash of blue light exploded on the side of the dragon’s head. Balin, Ori, and Dori were hurling flash-flame bombs at Smaug, who seemed unfazed, still continuing towards Thorin. 

A conveyor belt filled with large rocks fell on Smaug, making him fall to the ground, roaring. (Name) glances up to find Gloin waving an axe at the beast. On the ground, Thorin ran over to a furnace and pulled on a chain, opening a hatch from which molten gold poured from. The liquid started to flow into troughs built into the ground.

Smaug, who was tangled in the ropes of the conveyor belt, thrashed around and smacks the rope of the belt Gloin and Bofur were in, breaking it and sending them tumbling to the floor. Somehow they landed unharmed.

“Lead him to the Gallery of the Kings!” Thorin ordered, running towards a trough of gold. The fire dragon continued to shake, and one of the buckets from a conveyor belt went flying towards (Name). She instinctively ducked, and it smashed into the stone wall behind her, taking large chunks out of it. Almost immediately after she stood up, Smaug’s tail crashed into the metal structure. The platform she stood on shook, and she grabbed the lever for support, but it stayed upright.

The girl looked up to see Thorin grabbing a wheelbarrow and throw it into a channel. He stepped back, then ran and jumped in it, nearly losing his balance. The makeshift craft floated lazily along the river of gold, bobbing with the heavy current. Smaug roared, whipping his head around to rid himself of the ropes and buckets, making a clattering of sounds, almost reminiscent of drums. 

The dragon stomped towards Thorin, but then (Name)’s attention was stolen by a creak underneath her. The little structure began to collapse, sending her flailing towards the ground. She hit the side of the mound, and tumbled down, letting out multiple  _ oofs _ and a string of curses  that the authors shouldn’t write because they were very colorful. 

Smaug was marching towards Thorin, when he spotted the small hobbit curled up at the bottom of a mound. He recognized her, and growled. He redirected his course. Instead of chasing Thorin, he decided to swoop down for the girl who had proved so troublesome. 

“Go, (Name)! Run!” Thorin yelled, causing the hobbit to spring up and start sprinting away towards the hallway he had pointed to. Smaug was right behind her. As soon as her feet touched the slick ground of the hallway, she started to slide, falling on her behind. She couldn’t say she was too surprised, her adventures giving her some experience. What did surprise her, though, was Smaug sliding right after her.

Sliding down the dark tunnel, (Name) could see decorative pillars carved intricately with designs. Smaug’s wings knocked into them, making them topple over and crack into pieces. The girl winced at every  _ wham  _ caused by a pillar smashing into the ground. 

(Name), not looking where she was going exactly, ran as fast as her legs could take her. She looked behind her, a mistake on her part, to see the dragon raging in his pursuit. The girl whipped her head back around to see a gigantic open doorway looming in front of her. It was the only place she could go, and she might find a place to hide in there, so she willed her body to go even faster. 

When she passed the archway, she found herself in a massive hall adorned with banners of all colors, and hundreds of feet tall and wide. She didn’t have time to admire them though, as Smaug crashed through the doorway. Tons of rubble ricocheted hundreds of feet in the air, and came bearing down on the girl. 

(Name) ran as fast as she could to escape the flying rocks, but found herself in the path of a falling banner. It’s cloth draped over her, colored with the hues of metals and gems found in the mountain. It trapped her underneath it, hiding her just in time from Smaug’s gaze. 

The dragon had leapt onto the floor. His claws clanked and scraped against the ancient stone floors. His tail swept tons of rubble to the side, turning them into missiles that embedded themselves in the walls and were buried in banners. He roared at the ceiling, tiny stones trembling at the terrific sound. His gaze lowered to scope out the ground, looking for the hobbit.  

“You think you could deceive me, Barrel-rider?” He growled. (Name) peeked out from the edge of the banner hiding her. 

“You have come from Laketown. There is- is some sort of scheme hatched between these filthy dwarves and those miserable cup-trading Lakemen. Those sniveling cowards with their longbows and black arrows!” Smaug’s voice cracked with rage when he mentioned the arrows, but (Name) heard fear in his voice as well. 

A moment passed, filled with the slowly fading mutterings of the dragon. He paused.

“Perhaps it is time I paid them a visit.” (Name)’s stomach dropped. Smaug turned to leave, and the girl gasped. 

“Oh, no.” She murmured. Scrambling out from under the banner, the young hobbit called out to the dragon.

“This isn’t their fault! Wait! You cannot go to Laketown.” She cried desperately. 

Hearing this, the dragon paused for a moment. He turned toward (Name), who was scrambling over piles of rubble to get to the dragon. He let out a low chuckle that made the girl pause in fear. 

“You  _ care _ about them, do you? Good. Then you can watch them die.”

Smaug turned and strode off down the hall. Suddenly, (Name) heard a voice, seemingly emanating from a massive stone structure resembling a dwarf. At first she thought the statue was talking, but then she spotted Thorin standing on its shoulder. 

“Here, you witless worm!” he yelled at the dragon, who did not appreciate being called a worm. He turned towards the dwarf. “ _ You _ ,” he snarled.

“I am taking back what you stole!” Thorin declared. Smaug slowly continued to stalk towards him, slowly and carefully.

“You would take nothing from me, dwarf,” he hissed. “I laid low your warriors of old. I instilled terror in the hearts of men. I am King Under the Mountain.”

The beast’s head was level with Thorin, and (Name) watched as best she could, squinting to make out what he was doing.

“This is not your kingdom,” Thorin thundered. “These are dwarf lands, this is dwarf gold, and we will have our revenge.” (Name) stepped forwards when she noticed flames creeping up Smaug’s throat. Just as the dragon opened his mouth, Thorin yelled a command in Khuzdul.

The dwarf yanked on a rope, and a pin behind the stone statue fell out. (Name) could make out the other dwarves yanking chains of their own, releasing more pins and wooden bands holding the stone together. The two rock halves making up the statue started to fall, unveiling a shiny gold material underneath.

A solid gold statue of a dwarf king, perfectly made thanks to the mold. Thorin swung away on his rope to avoid the falling rock, but Smaug’s slitted pupils were focused on the statue. His mouth widened in greed and longing.

Suddenly, the eyes of the dwarf seemed to warp, changing right in front of them. They exploded into burning liquid, the whole statue collapsing in front of (Name)’s eyes. She only realized she was standing in the path of a huge tidal wave of gold a moment later, and started to scramble out of the way. It hit Smaug, who roared in anger and fell over into the liquid. The hobbit sprang up to higher ground, but the gold hit her boots, which sizzled from the heat of it. 

Desperately, she kicked off her right boot, then pulled off her left once she was safe on the stone ground. She sighed when she examined the gold already hardening on it. Hobbits didn’t usually wear shoes, but these had been a special pair, one that had taken her across Middle Earth, and now they were ruined. 

But that didn’t matter now. (Name) got to her (bare) feet, scanning the gold for any sign of Smaug. He seemed to have drowned in the gold. She couldn’t help the grin spreading across her face, and the dwarves started to cheer. However, the surface of the golden lake exploded again as Smaug leapt out. He was drenched in gold, and screamed in anger and pain.

“Revenge?!” he shrieked. “Revenge! I will show you  _ REVENGE _ !” With that, he took off down the hallway and flapped out, leaving the dwarves and (Name) staring on in shock. The girl started to run after him, and spotted him break through the stone wall, smashing through the mountainside and entering the clear, cool sky.

She kept going, running out of the destroyed gates of Erebor and watching the flying Smaug shake off the gold and hurl towards Laketown helplessly.

“What have we done?” (Name) despairingly panted to herself.

 

~To Be Continued~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! End of the second movie. Enjoy while you can people. S'boutta get ugly


	9. Thorin's being a jerk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nOT DEAD  
> I JUST FORGOT THIS EXISTED  
> V STRESSFUL MONTH  
> *YEAR  
> *LIFE  
> *CENTURY  
> ENJOY A DOUBLE UPDATE HAHAHAHA

Flames flickered in (Name) (L/N)’s eyes as she stared out towards Laketown. A large, winged figure was circling the buildings and shooting jets of fire haphazardly. And it was because of her. Well, because of the whole company, but mostly because of her.

Eight dwarves stood to (Name)’s right, all grimacing and wincing and shaking their heads at the burning structures and screams that could be heard all the way from the mountains. Ideally, there should’ve been thirteen, but Bofur, Oin, Kili, and Fili had been left behind in Laketown, and Thorin….

The hobbit glanced back at Thorin. Instead of gazing at the destruction happening where his comrades - his relatives  - were, his clouded eyes were focused on the walls of Erebor. He had seemed strangely  _ obsessed _ with the mountain ever since they had driven Smaug away. And to be honest, it freaked (Name) out. 

She wasn’t sure how long she stood there when  _ boom  _ was heard, and the ground began to shake. The girl was sure of what she saw.

“What was that?” Gloin questioned. “What happened?”

“He fell,” (Name) responded. “I saw it. Smaug...is dead!” The dwarves squinted out towards the little town, looking for the dragon that was just hovering above it. No dragon was to be seen, though, causing the dwarves to start smiling and cheering. (Name) glanced towards Thorin, hoping for a normal reaction, but he was still staring at Erebor, now with a little twisted grin across his face. 

“By my beard! I think she’s right!” Bombur exclaimed. “Look there! The ravens of Erebor are returning to the mountain!” A caw echoed in the air, proving him right.

“Aye, word will spread,” Gloin agreed. “Before long, every soul in Middle Earth will know - The dragon is dead!” As the dwarves laughed in glee, (Name) just watched Thorin hurry down from the lookout point, heading towards the gates of Erebor. 

~

As soon as (Name) heard the echoing, familiar voices, she ran down a tunnel, approaching the main hall of Erebor. “Hello?” she heard Bofur call out. “Bifur? Bombur?  _ Anybody?”  _

“Wait!” (Name) cried out desperately, running to the four dwarfs. “Wait! You can’t go in there, you have to leave!”

“(Name), you’re alive!” Fili exclaimed. He wasn’t limping anymore, and he had just a simple wrap on his leg.

“We just only got here,” Bofur protested. 

“Thorin, Thorin’s gone mad…” the hobbit panted. “It’s like a sickness, and he won’t listen to reason!”

“What do you mean?” Oin asked.

“He doesn’t eat, he just stands there, admiring all his gold,” she rambled. “He doesn’t even sleep!”

“You don’t look like you’ve slept much either,” Fili pointed out. (Name) blinked at him for a moment. “Thorin’s been making us search for the Arkenstone for hours and hours,” she finally responded, guiltily. She had the one thing that Thorin was so persistently looking for. 

When was the last time she slept? She vaguely recalled searching for the Arkenstone in a corner of the hall, eventually drifting off, curled up in the gold. Next thing she knew, Thorin was staring disapprovingly down at her, making her scramble up and continue sifting through the gold.

Bofur frowned. “Well, never mind that!” he declared, pushing past the girl. She sighed as the dwarves passed her, walking quickly towards the hall of gold. Then, with a shake of her head, she ran after them.

(Name) found them staring slack-jawed at the piles and piles of gold filling the room. As they stared, her (e/c) tinted eyes found Thorin, dressed in fancy robes and covered in jewelry. He glanced up at the five of them, and he began to speak softly, almost to himself.

“Gold,” the so-called king began. “Gold beyond measure. Gold beyond sorrow and grief.”

A blood red blur suddenly came speeding towards the dwarves, thrown by Thorin. Kili caught it, and (Name) noticed it was a jewel.

“Behold, the great treasure hoard of Thror. Welcome, my sister’s sons, to  _ EREBOR. _ ”

(Name) looked away.

~

“Any sign of it?” Thorin yelled to the twelve dwarves (and one hobbit) combing the mountains of treasure. 

“Nothing yet!” Dwalin called back.

“Nothing here!” Nori also answered.

“Keep searching!” Thorin demanded, pacing back and forth on a balcony overseeing the hall.

“That jewel could be anywhere!” Oin argued.

“The Arkenstone is in these halls!” Thorin bellowed. “ _ Find it! _ ”

“You heard him, keep searching,” Dwalin grumbled.

“No one rests until it is found!” The King under the Mountain proclaimed.

(Name) couldn’t help the shame spreading across her face, and she glanced down, at the treasure that meant nothing.

~

Standing in front of a large throne, (Name) watched Thorin stare at an indention where the Arkenstone would’ve been placed. Balin and Dwalin stood on either side of her.

“It is here in these halls, I know it,” Thorin murmured, almost to himself.

“We have searched and searched-” Dwalin started to argue.

“Not well enough!” Thorin interrupted.

“Thorin, we would all see the stone returned-”

“And yet,” he thundered. “It still isn’t  _ FOUND!” _

“Do you doubt the loyalty of anyone here?” Balin challenged Thorin, who turned slowly, approaching the three. “The Arkenstone is the birthright of our people,” Balin continued.

“It is the  _ King’s  _ Jewel!” Thorin said. “ _ AM I NOT THE KING?!”  _ (Name) flinched at his shouting, looking uneasy. He turned away again.

“Know this,” he started, at a regular volume again. “If anyone should find it and keep it from me, I shall be avenged.” As he walked away, (Name) put a hand over the pocket in her cloak that concealed the warm stone.

Later, she found Balin in a corner, appearing to be crying. Startled by this, the girl rushed over. The old dwarf looked up, his face dry, but taking deep breaths. 

“Dragon-sickness - I’ve seen it before,” he started to explain. “That look. That terrible need. It is a fierce and jealous love, (Name). It sent his grandfather mad.”

“Balin, if Thorin h-had the Arkenstone…” (Name) hesitated. “Would it help?”

“That stone crowns all. It is the summit of this great wealth, bestowing power upon he who bears it. Will it stay his madness? No, lassie; I fear it would make it worse. Perhaps it is best that it remains lost.” 

~

(Name) looked left, then right, then left again. She sat on a bench in an empty hallway, and she decided to glance right again, before reaching into her cloak and pulling out the Arkenstone. It was the same bluish-clearish as before, seeming to emit light and warmth.  _ How could such a small thing be driving a person mad? _

“What is that?!” Thorin’s voice came from the end of the hallway. He strode quickly towards where (Name) sat, and she got to her feet, stashing the stone in her coat again though she knew it was useless. “In your hand!” he added.

“It-it’s nothing,” (Name) stuttered, face to face with the dwarf. 

“Show me,” he demanded. 

“I…” (Name) started helplessly. She slowly reached for the stone and took it out. Upon seeing it, Thorin’s face seemed to lighten and darken simultaneously.

“The Arkenstone,” he said stonily, reaching out for it. (Name)’s mind raced to come up with an excuse.

“Ah- no, Thorin,” she started hastily. “I’m-I’m sorry, but this isn’t the Arkenstone.”

“Then what is it?” the dwarf demanded darkly.

“It’s another crystal I found that- that I thought might serve as a good … decoy?” 

It seemed like centuries of Thorin staring at the jewel, inspecting every aspect of it to see if (Name) was telling the truth. She was sure it was a stupid explanation, and any moment now she’d be banished from Erebor - or worse.

“A decoy,” Thorin finally repeated, nodding his head slightly. His expression remained stony, and (Name) couldn’t tell whether he was convinced or not. Then he straightened up, and to the girl’s surprise, smiled fondly at her. 

“That could be very convincing when we need it most,” Thorin commented. (Name) was too shocked to respond, her mouth opening and closing like a fish gasping for water. “I trust you. Keep it safe.”

Nodding wordlessly, the hobbit tucked the Arkenstone back into her cloak.  _ I’ve betrayed him,  _ was all she could think.  _ I’ve betrayed everyone.  _ “Th-Thorin, I..” she started hesitantly, when Dwalin came up to the two.

“Thorin, survivors from Laketown,” he reported. “They are streaming into Dale. There’s hundreds of them.” Thorin’s smile faded into a stern gaze. “Call everyone to the gate,” he ordered. As he strode off, he shouted, “ _ TO THE GATE! NOW!” _

Soon enough, everyone was gathered near the entrance that Smaug had broken through. (Name) was running back and forth with variously sized boulders in her arms, piling them up against the damaged gates. Some dwarves were doing the same, and others were using pulleys to swing big rocks into position.

“I want this fortress made safe by sunup!” Thorin demanded. “This mountain was hard won - I will not see it taken again!”  _ Yes, because I had no role in the capture of Erebor,  _ (Name) couldn’t help the thought.  _ No, don’t think like that! You’ve caused enough trouble! Just do as he says and you’ll come up with something! _

“The people of Laketown have nothing,” Kili argued. “They came to us in need. They have lost everything.”

“Do not tell me what  _ they  _ have lost!” Thorin whipped around. “I know well enough their hardship. Those who have lived through dragonfire should  _ rejoice.  _ They have much to be grateful for.”

He looked out at the city of Dale, and (Name) followed his gaze, another heavy boulder in her arms. Many fires could be seen, lit by the desperate people. She hoped for a positive reaction, but instead, Thorin just shouted, “More stone!  _ Bring more stone to the gate!” _

Finally, a stable wall was built to block off the gate. (Name) wiped her brow. Hoping that she would finally get a chance to sleep, she started to head towards the hallway, but Thorin’s call stopped her. “Come on!”

She turned to find all the dwarves making their way up a rocky staircase that they created, up to a platform at the top of the gate. With a sigh, she followed, touching her belt to make sure her sword was still there and her pocket for the Arkenstone.

When she reached the platform, (Name) could see the walls of Dale not only filled with men, but with rows of elf soldiers as well.  _ Oh dear. _ A man she recognized as Bard rode up the path to the gate on a horse, stopping when he caught sight of Thorin.

“Hail Thorin, son of Thrain!” he called. “We are glad to find you alive beyond hope.”

“Why do you come to the gates of the King under the Mountain armed for war?” Thorin challenged.

“Why does the King under the Mountain fence himself in?” Bard shot right back. “Like a robber in his hole.”

“Perhaps it is because I am expecting to be robbed,” Thorin scowled.

“My lord, we have not come to rob you, but to seek fair settlement. Will you not speak with me?” After a moment, Thorin nodded, stepping away from the platform and heading down the stairs. (Name) watched Bard dismount his horse and walk up to the blockade. She turned and looked down, off the platform, where Thorin stood on the ground, eye to a hole.

“I’m listening,” he said. 

(Name) couldn’t fully hear what Bard was saying, just a couple words. “...Laketown….pledge….share of the treasure…”

“I will not treat with any man while an armed host lies before my door.” Thorin was unmoving.

“....armed host….attack….come to terms…”

“Your threats do not sway me.” Balin looked like he was on the verge of rolling his eyes.

“What of your conscience?!” Bard’s exclamation could be clearly heard. “Does it not tell  you our cause is just? My people offered you help. And in return you brought upon them only ruin and death!”

“When did the men of Laketown come to our aid,” Thorin boomed, “but for the promise of rich reward?!” (Name)’s jaw dropped, along with the others’.

“A bargain was struck!” Bard exclaimed, probably just as shocked as the company.

“A bargain? What choice did we have but to barter our birthright for blankets and food? To ransom our future in exchange for our freedom? You call that a fair trade? Tell me, Bard the Dragonslayer…”

(Name) could see Bard look up in surprise.

“...Why should I honor such terms?”

“Because you gave us your word. Does that mean nothing?” 

(Name)’s gaze was ping-ponging back and forth between the two, and she glanced down to see Thorin turn away from the hole, leaning against the blockade. His hundreds of years seemed to show on his face all of a sudden, looking tired and weary. Then he caught sight of the dwarves and the hobbit, who were all watching him. With renewed vigor, he turned back and shouted to Bard.

“Be gone, ere arrow fly!” Bard, with an angry look, remounted his horse and started to ride back to Dale. 

“What-what are you doing?!” (Name) questioned Thorin, hurrying down the staircase. “We- you can’t go to war against them!”

“This does not concern you,” was his calm response.

“Doesn’t- excuse me?!” (Name) was done with following his deranged orders, even though she was the main cause of them. “In case you haven’t noticed, there is an army of elves out there and probably one very pissed elf king. And several hundred pissed fishermen. We are outnumbered.” And at this outburst, Thorin simply grinned.

“Not for much longer,” he pointed out. 

“What does that mean?” (Name) demanded.

“It means, Miss (Name), you should never underestimate dwarves.”

He turned to the whole company, who had all come down the stairs.

“We have reclaimed Erebor - Now we defend it!” he yelled triumphantly. 

As he turned and walked away, Balin and (Name) looked at each other, distressed.

~

(Name) walked by an armory, where fires burnt and the dwarves were suiting up for battle. She paused for a moment, watching the light of the flames dance and the shadows of the dwarves move on the walls. That minute was enough for Thorin to notice her and call out, “(Name), come here!”

Turning, she spotted the king decked in shiny armor and jewelry. His belt held a decorative sheath and sword. What caught (Name)’s eye, though, was the tunic of white mail he held out.

“You are going to need this,” he said, not unkindly. “Put it on.” After a bit of hesitation, (Name) pulled off her cloak, careful to keep the Arkenstone and the ring inside its folds.

“This vest is made of silver steel,” Thorin informed. “ _ Mithril _ , it was called by my forebears.” He held it up, and carefully placing her coat on the floor, she slid into it.

“No blade can pierce it,” he told her as she pulled it over her cloth tunic. Looking at herself, she glanced up, noticing the gazes of the other dwarves on her.

“I- Thank you, but I’m no warrior. I’m just a hobbit.”

“It is a gift,” Thorin smiled kindly. “A token of our friendship. True friends are hard to come by.”  _ True friends….a 17 year old hobbit and a 300 year old dwarf, who would’ve known?  _ Although there was a grin on his face, as soon as he glanced towards the other dwarves, Thorin’s expression morphed into a frown. He grabbed (Name) by the shoulder and pulled her a couple steps away, where the other dwarves couldn’t hear them.

“I have been blind,” he started, muttering the words softly. “Now I begin to see. I am betrayed.”

“B-Betrayed?” (Name) replied dumbly. A wave of fear crashed into the shoreline of her mind.

“The Arkenstone,” Thorin went on. He leaned forwards, moving closer to (Name), who looked extremely uncomfortable and worried. 

“One of them has taken it,” the King under the Mountain whispered to her. “One of them is false.” Although the hobbit was relieved, her brow was still tensed. 

“Thorin, we’ve already gotten so far,” she started. “You’ve got Erebor...Is-Is that not enough?”

“Betrayed by my own kin,” Thorin went on, seeming to ignore (Name)’s words.

“No, Thorin…” she tried again. “You promised the people of Laketown. You gave your word. Is your honor not worth as much as the treasure? No,  _ our  _ honor. You weren’t the only one who gave your word, we did as well.”

“For that I’m grateful,” Thorin admitted, still whispering. “It was nobly done. But the treasure in this mountain does not belong to the  _ people of Laketown! _ This gold … is ours … and ours alone. By my life, I will not part with a single coin! Not one piece of it!”

As he spoke, Thorin’s voice was growing deeper and deeper, more and more like Smaug’s, until the very last words were just an echo of what the dragon had said to (Name). Her eyes were wide at how affected he seemed, and she looked at him in shock as the rest of the company, fully dressed for armor, strode by.

~

Everything was dark in Erebor, and (Name) ached for sleep. But no, her mind raced with guilt, making it impossible to drift off.  _ What do I do?  _ she kept asking herself.  _ What do I do, what do I do? _

With a deep breath to herself, (Name) tried to get her thoughts in order.  _ All right - what can I do?  _ Could she try convincing Thorin not to fight? And not to suspect his kin?  _ Yeah, right, just as possible as just handing over the Arkenstone to him.  _ Wait. Could that be an option?  _ ‘Hey, Thorin, I sorta lied to you and this is the real Arkenstone, and I was keeping it cuz, you know, you were going insane and still are, so things are good, no?’ _

_ Yeah, that’s not going to work,  _ she shook her head at her sleep-deprived thoughts.  _ What else? _ What could she use the Arkenstone for?  _ ‘Hey Thorin, I’m not giving you the Arkenstone until you stop this war!’ Definitely going to work.  _

Why not give the Arkenstone to the other side?  _ ‘Hey, Bard, here’s the Arkenstone. Bribe Thorin with it as much as you want and lets hope I don’t die for it….’  _

Wait.

That could actually work.

(Name) sat up as she started to calculate it. If she snuck out now with the Arkenstone and talked to Bard, he could then use it against Thorin. Of course, the consequences would be harsh, and she didn’t even know what they would be, but it was the best idea she could come up with. 

Soon, (Name) was throwing a rope over the makeshift wall. With closed eyes and a muttered prayer as to not fall to her death, she started to use it to jump down. Her hands and fingers burned, but she propped her feet up on the wall and continued to scale down. When she touched the ground, she resisted the urge to kiss it and dashed off towards Dale.

As she approached the edges of the town, she noticed guards stationed outside, probably defending against some kind of midnight attack. (Name) realized she had her ring with her, and she could use it, but what she had heard and seen last time had scared her. Would she risk it? What would happen? The question that scared her the most was  _ Will I go as mad as Thorin, or maybe even Gollum? _

With a deep breath, she put it on. Effortlessly, she snuck past the guards, then started checking the multitudinous tents for Bard. Most of them held sleeping men and women, and even children. Finally, she came to one where the voice rumbling inside it sounded familiar. Pausing in her search, she listened. It didn’t sound like Bard, but she knew it well.

“You, Bowman!” the man spoke. “Do you agree with this? Is gold so important to you? Would you buy it with the blood of dwarves?!”

“It will not come to that,” another voice, definitely Bard, responded. “This is a fight they cannot win.” Yanking off the ring and stashing it in her pocket, (Name) stepped into the tent and addressed both of them.

“That won’t stop them. The dwarves will not surrender - they will fight to the death to defend their treasures.” (Name)’s eyes found Bard’s, then glanced to the other person in the room.

“(Name) (L/N)!” Gandalf exclaimed happily. The hobbit smiled at the wizard.

“To stop them, we must speak with the Elvenking,” Bard went on, ignoring the greetings. (Name) gulped.  _ That wasn’t what I planned...but okay….  _

Soon enough, she was presented before Thranduil, who looked at her expressionlessly. “If I’m not mistaken,” he stated, “this is the halfling who refused to answer any of my questions about the dwarves when I interrogated her, who somehow escaped and stole the keys to my dungeons from under the nose of my guards, and led the escape out of the Elven kingdom.”

Uncomfortably, (Name) gave him a half smile. “Yes, that’s me….sorry about that…”

After a moment of silence, she stepped forwards. “I came to give you this,” she said quietly, reaching into her cloak and taking out the Arkenstone. Thranduil instantly rose in surprise.

“The heart of the mountain,” he noted. “The King’s Jewel.”

Gandalf and Bard stepped forwards to admire it.

“And worth a king’s ransom,” the bowman lifted an eyebrow. “How is this yours to give?”

“I..uh….” (Name) hadn’t thought about this. “I took it as my fourteenth share, of the treasure,” she blurted out.

For some reason, Gandalf seemed amused.

“Why would you do this?” Bard demanded. “You owe us no loyalty.”

“I’m not doing this for you,” (Name) admitted. “I’m fully aware that dwarves can be difficult, and stubborn, and pigheaded and suspicious and secretive at times, along with the  _ worst  _ manners you could imagine. But along with that, they are brave, and kind….and loyal…. I’ve really grown fond of them, and I would save them with no hesitation.”

(Name) paused before continuing. “Thorin values this stone above anything else. If you offer it to him, I believe he will give you what you are owed. There should be no need for bloodshed.”

Gandalf, Bard, and Thranduil exchanged glances.

~

Gandalf led (Name) through Dale hurriedly. “Rest up tonight,” he told her. “You must leave on tomorrow.”

“What?” (Name) confusedly questioned.

“Get as far away from here as possible,” Gandalf detailed.

“I can’t leave now,” the hobbit argued. “I am the fourteenth member of the company. I’m not going to leave.”

“There is no company,” Gandalf solemnly stated, “not anymore. And I don’t like to think what Thorin will do when he finds out what you’ve done.

“I’m not afraid of Thorin.” The statement was not completely true, but she squared her shoulders and tried her best to believe it was.

“But you should be! Don’t underestimate the evil of gold. Gold over which a serpent has long brooded. Dragon-sickness seeps into the hearts of all who come near this mountain.” Gandalf looked at (Name) for a moment. “Almost all.” The girl glanced up at him, but his gaze was on another familiar looking man.

“You there! Find this hobbit a bed, and fill her belly with hot food. She has earned it.”  _ Alfrid _ , (Name) recognized the black haired man. Grudgingly,  he came over and began to lead the girl away. Before he could go, Gandalf grabbed his arm and whispered something to him. (Name) raised an eyebrow but did not say anything.

When he was done, Alfrid marched forwards, cursing as a group of people walked in front of him. He pushed his way between them, muttering foul language. “Move it! Stupid…” followed by a series of colorful curses. (Name) followed him hesitantly.

They eventually came to yet another tent, but this one was empty. “All right, hobbit, make yourself cozy,” Alfrid drawled sarcastically. “Nighty night. Do you need someone to tuck you in?”

(Name) shot the man an extremely nasty look that made him flinch and back off out of the tent.

She really had no intention of sleeping, although the blankets tempted her. She had to get right back to Erebor and hope that she wouldn’t be caught sneaking back in. Gandalf’s offers to send her back to Hobbiton were just slightly tempting, but (Name)’s pride and honor was on the line. She’d rather face the consequences of something good that she did than run away from them.  _ Unless it’s death. Which it won’t be. Right? _

Fighting the urge to close her heavy eyelids and fall asleep, (Name) waited for it to grow even darker. She could see the shadow of someone waiting outside her tent. Was that what Gandalf had told Alfrid? To tell him if he saw her leave?

_ Good thing he won’t, then,  _ (Name) thought while slipping on her ring.

~

The next morning, (Name) acted like she had gotten a good night of rest. The dwarves were all making their way up to the platform, and she followed, leaving her cloak behind. On second thought, she dashed back, pulled out the ring, and stashed it in her pants’ pocket.  _ Better safe than sorry,  _ she thought. 

From the platform, she could see the elves and men armed and ready for battle. They weren’t the only ones, though; the dwarves were fully geared and prepared to fight. With her solution, though, she hoped they wouldn’t need to. 

Thranduil and Bard came riding together to the front of the armies, approaching the entrance to Erebor. Thorin, in one fluid moment, drew an arrow back in his golden bow and released it. It stuck in the ground directly in front of the two, who immediately halted in surprise.

“I will put the next one between your eyes!” Thorin bellowed. He drew his bow again, and the dwarves next to him cheered and shook their weapons. (Name) watched Thranduil gaze at Thorin with masked anger in his eyes. He then slightly tilted his head. Instantly, all the elves pulled out their bows, nocked their arrows, and aimed at the dwarves, making everyone abruptly stop their cheering and duck behind the ramparts. Everyone except Thorin, who kept his bow aimed steadily at the Elvenking. After a couple tense moments, the dwarves next to him stood, and so did (Name), seeing that the elves had put down their bows.

“We’ve come to tell you,” Thranduil started. “Payment of your debt has been offered, and accepted.”

“What payment! I gave you nothing! You have nothing!” Thorin yelled. 

“We have this,” Bard calmly stated. He reached into his robe and pulled out the Arkenstone, holding it up. (Name) could clearly see the shock written on Thorin’s face as he lowered his bow.  

“They have the Arkenstone? Thieves!” Kili exclaimed. “How came you by the heirloom of our house? That stone belongs to the king?” (Name) despite the urge, kept her gaze up and steady.

“And the king may have it - in our good will,” Bard said, tucking the jewel back into his robe. “But first he must honor his word.”

Thorin was staring at the spot in his robe where Bard had put the Arkenstone. “They are taking us for fools, “ he muttered to himself. “This is a ruse, a filthy lie.” Then, raising his voice, he thundered, “ _ THE ARKENSTONE IS IN THIS MOUNTAIN!  _ It is a trick! It is a …. decoy ….” (Name)’s blood froze as she heard the word. She glanced up to see his stony gaze resting on her.

“It’s not,” she said quietly. She stepped forwards, not lowering her gaze. “The stone is real. I gave it to them.” As she spoke, she could see Thorin’s expression changing to an intense mixture of sorrow, betrayal … and anger. The other dwarves were looking at (Name) in shock, surprised she would do such a thing.

“You…” Thorin started, his brow furrowed. “You would steal from me?”

“I- no, I didn’t steal,” (Name) countered him, although it probably would’ve been wiser to sprint out of there, since now he looked furious. “It was my fourteenth share.”  _ Oops,  _ she thought as, somehow, he looked even angrier. “I may be a burglar, but I’d rather be an honest one,” she continued to ramble. “I’m willing to let it stand against my claim.”

“Against your claim?!” Thorin snapped. “Your claim! You have no  _ claim  _ over me, you miserable  _ rat!! _ ”  _ Ouch _ . (Name) took a step backwards as Thorin threw down his bow and began walking towards her. “I really was going to give it to you!” she desperately stated. “I wanted to, many times, but…”

“But what,  _ thief?!” _ Thorin snarled, making (Name) put up her hands to defend herself. 

“You’ve changed!” said the hobbit earnestly. “The Thorin I knew before would never have gone back on his word! He would have never doubted the loyalty of his kin!”

“Do not speak to me of  _ loyalty! _ ” Thorin lashed out. Turning to the other dwarves, he yelled, “ _ Throw her from the rampart!” _

They didn’t move. Instead, they stepped away from (Name) in confusion. Her gaze flicked to each of their faces, which displayed varying levels of sorrow, anger, betrayal, and … hunger? Or was that just Bombur?

“ _ DO YOU HEAR ME?!”  _ Thorin bellowed. He suddenly grabbed Fili’s arm, pulling him towards (Name), who stumbled backwards. The blond dwarf just shook him away. 

“I will do it myself!” declared the King under the Mountain. He lunged forwards towards (Name) and grabbed her, shouting. “ _ CURSE YOU!” _

The girl struggled to get out of his grip, pushing him away and trying to step on his feet, since she couldn’t do much else. The other dwarves leapt forwards, shouting and trying to pull Thorin away. 

“No!” she heard Kili yell out as Thorin managed to grab her again and shove her over the rampart. Her whole torso was hanging out in mid-air, and her arms scrambled to grab onto the ledge, a pillar, anything that would keep her from falling. “Cursed be the circumstances that forced you on this company!” he shouted. 

“Stop!” Bard yelled up at them. “She’s just a lass!” (Name) would’ve been irritated if she wasn’t about to die.  _ Where’s Gandalf when you need him?! _

Seeming to answer (Name)’s mental call, Gandalf appeared, striding through the armies. “ _ IF YOU DON’T LIKE YOUR BURGLAR,”  _ he started, his voice magically amplified to incredibly deep and powerful tones. It was enough to stop Thorin for a moment. “Then please don’t damage her. Return her to me!” His voice had returned to normal. “You’re not making a very splendid figure as King under the Mountain, are you, Thorin, son of Thrain?”

Slowly, (Name) could feel Thorin letting her up. The other dwarves rushed to help her up, and she pushed herself away from the ledge. Balin gently pushed her towards the rope she had hung the night before. “Go,” he told her. Instead of doing so, however, (Name) stayed. She met Thorin’s eyes. They were still clouded, seemingly more than before. A wave of anger crashed into her. She had done a good thing for them, and this is how she was thanked?

Before she knew it, she had pulled the impenetrable tunic off and thrown it to the floor. The white chains landed with a  _ shnnnnk _ on the stone platform. “True friends are  _ truly  _ hard to find,” she shot at Thorin, before dashing towards the rope and starting to climb her way down.

“Never again will I have dealings with  _ Shire-rats, _ ” Thorin snapped, loud enough for (Name) to hear him on the way down. Her eyes were wet, but she refused to cry.  _ I will not cry. This was a good thing to do. I have no reason to be ashamed.  _ But she couldn’t help the overwhelming feelings of betrayal.

“Are we resolved? The return of the Arkenstone is what was promised.” Called Bard, as Gandalf hurried (Name) into the cover of the crowd. Thorin seemed to be panting heavily, gazing out into the distance, as if expecting something. Bard frowned. 

“Give us your answer! Will you have peace or war?” A moment of silence ensued. Then a bird swooped down to land in front of Thorin. The dwarf looked up, and he and the raven stared at each other. He broke his gaze after a long moment, and locked eyes with (Name).

“I will have war.” He turned away, and disappeared behind the walls. In the distance, a rumbling was heard. Both elves and men alike turned their heads towards the horizon.

“Ironfoot.” Gandalf grumbled. He slammed his staff on the ground and strided over towards Thranduil. The pair began to speak in hushed tones.

(Name) broke her gaze from the ramparts, and looked towards the rising sun. There, casting a grand shadow, was a dwarven army raising their spears into the red sky.  _ I failed. There will be war. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo wassup this is fuckface back at it again with the angst


	10. Well that went well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi im co-author here hosting the 'try not to cry challenge'  
> i bet you'll pass  
> because this fic ate your soul   
> same thing it did to me  
> enjoy

The tenseness was pierced by the cheering of the dwarves of Erebor as they saw their backup arriving.

     “ _ Ribo i thangail!”  _ Thranduil ordered his people. He mounted his horse and rode through his army as the elves and Lakepeople began marching towards the dwarves. Gandalf followed, with (Name) rushing to keep up. She had gained her composure once again, and calmly questioned, “Who is that, leading the other army?”

     “It is Dain, lord of the Iron Hills,” Gandalf answered. “Thorin’s cousin.”

     “Are they...alike?”

     Gandalf stopped and turned to face (Name). “I always found Thorin the more reasonable of the two.”

     The two armies halted, facing each other, and Dain rode a large pig onto an overlook to address the elves and men.

**“** Good morning! How are we all?” he chirped cheerfully. “I have a wee proposition, if you wouldn’t mind giving me a few moments of your time. Would you consider...just sodding off!”

      (Name) resisted the urge to snort, despite all the solemnities that had just passed. The elves immediately pulled out their swords and stepped forwards in unison, while the townspeople shied backwards.

      “All of you - right now!” Dain went on to holler.

      “Stand fast!” Bard ordered his people. (Name) watched as Gandalf left his position next to her and strode forwards.

     “Come on now, lord Dain!” he exclaimed.

     “Gandalf the Grey,” Dain sarcastically marveled. “Tell this rabble to leave, or I’ll water the ground with their blood!”

“There is no need for war between dwarves, men and elves!” Gandalf argued. “A legion of orcs march on the mountain. Stand your army down!”

       “I will not stand down before any elf! Not least this faithless woodland sprite!” Dain gestured towards Thranduil, whose expression was stony.

      “He wishes nothing but I’ll upon my people!” Dain continued to roar. “If he chooses to stand between me and my kin, I’ll split his pretty head open! See if he’s still smirking then!”

      Thranduil smirked aggressively. “He’s clearly mad,” he commented calmly, with masked emotion. “Just like his cousin.”  _ Ouch. _

__ Dain circled back to his army. “You hear that, lads?!” he bellowed, riding towards the rows of dwarves. “Come on! Let’s give these bastards a good hammering!”

    A dwarf yelled out a command, and the army raised their weapons and cheered. The elven army next to (Name) started to perform a complicated maneuver to bring their shield and spear beaters to the front. (Name) herself backed out of the way.

    Suddenly, a rumbling filled the air. It seemed to come from all around them, even from underground. Actually, mostly from underground. “Wereworms!” Gandalf whispered to himself.

     At the base of the mountain where the rumbling seemed to be emanating from, massive worms broke through the rock. Their mouths were grotesque drills, meant to crush any boulders in their way. (Name), along with Gandalf and the human, elven, and dwarf armies, looked on in shock. “Oh, come on!” Dain yelled.

The worms suddenly retreated back into the tunnels they’d made. The mist started to clear, and the armies were left in silence. There were a couple tense moments, where (Name) glanced at both sides of the battle repetitively, waiting for an order. It was broken by a long battle horn’s sound, at which legions of orcs began pouring out of the tunnels. It was like a nightmare - each army was outnumbered by the numbers of orcs.

“The hordes of hell are upon us!” Dain thundered. “To battle! To battle, sons of Durin!” The crowd of dwarves raised their weapons, and with a battle cry that shook (Name) to her boots, they charged the bloodthirsty orcs. 

~

The company watched as the events unfolded beneath them. Finally, Fili pounded his fist into the wall, and turned to face the dwarves.

“I’m going over the wall! Who’s coming with me?” he called, already unsheathing his sword. The other dwarves cheered, drawing their weapons and preparing to climb down to the ground. 

“Stand down!” The dwarves turned around in confusion. 

“What?” questioned Balin.  

“Are we to do nothing?” Fili challenged.

“I said  _ STAND DOWN!”  _ Thorin shouted, silencing the rest of the dwarves. As he stormed away, the others looked on in shock and surprise.

~

(Name) watched as the dwarves sprinted towards the incoming orcs, while the elves stayed where they were. They were clearly outnumbered on their own, but with the elves, they would stand a chance.

“Why aren’t the elves fighting?” she asked Gandalf, having to shout over the ruckus that the dwarves were making. 

“Thranduil! This is madness!” the Gray wizard yelled to the Elvenking, who was calmly watching the army as they suddenly halted. Then they started to crouch down and hold up their shields, making a wall. The elves started to run forwards, confusing (Name), who had no experience in battle strategies. As they leapt over the wall of dwarves gracefully, plunging into the crowds of orcs, (Name) sighed, clapping her hands together at the brilliant strategy.

As the Elves pressed forward, the dwarvish shield wall raised as the dwarves rushed forward, cutting down the monsters with their spears. Dain rode furiously through the Orcs, smashing them left and right with his hammer.

As the remaining elves marched into battle, Gandalf and (Name) stayed behind. The girl tugged at the wizard’s robe to get his attention. 

“Gandalf, are you sure this is an okay place to stand?” Gandalf drummed his fingers on his staff, and looked down at her, but provided no answer. His attention was attracted to a clifftop, and (Name) followed his gaze to a large wooden device. A couple orcs stood next to it, and she froze as she identified the largest one to be Azog. He hissed an order to those next to him, and they started turning the device. At the signal, even more orcs came streaming out of the tunnels, followed by massive trolls and other creatures. 

Thranduil shouted an order to his troops, who halted and pulled out their bows. A horn rang out again, and yet another legion of orcs turned and marched towards Dale.

“Azog,” Gandalf panted. “He’s trying to cut us off!” 

“All of you, fall back to Dale! Now!” Bard ordered. Hesitating, (Name) stepped backwards. “To the city, (Name)!” Gandalf called. “This way!” The hobbit turned and ran after the wizard.

~

The King under the Mountain sat on the throne of Erebor, so lost in thought he barely noticed Dwalin approaching him. The bald dwarf’s expression was angry, and even disappointed. Why was he disappointed? He wasn’t the one betrayed by the one person he thought was trustworthy. Now Thorin could not trust anyone - but himself.

“Since when do we forsake our own people?” Dwalin pleaded, unlike his nature. “Thorin, they are dying out there.”

“There are halls beneath halls within this mountain - places we can fortify,” the King under the Mountain murmured to himself, not listening. All that mattered was his treasure. He had earned it, and he would protect it. “Shore up. Make safe. Yes...that is it. We must move the gold further underground, to safety!” He jumped off the throne and began to walk away, towards his  _ precious  _ treasures, but the dwarf called out angrily to him.

“Did you not hear me?! Dain is surrounded! They’re being slaughtered, Thorin!” The King sighed, turning back to him.  _ Fool. _

“Many die in war. Life is cheap.” And that was the truth, yet it seemed to frustrate the dwarf further. “But a treasure such as this cannot be counted in lives lost. It is worth all the blood we can spend!”

“You sit here in these vast halls, with a crown upon your head, and yet you are lesser now that you have ever been,” the dwarf spat. This angered the King, and he raised his chin. “Do not speak to me as if I was some lowly dwarf lord,” he hissed. “As- As if I were still... _ Thorin Oakenshield.”  _ How quaint. A quaint name for a quaint dwarf. But the King under the Mountain felt more than that.

“ _ I AM YOUR KING!”  _ he roared, unsheathing his sword. He did not notice that he was so unbalanced he almost fell over, or that his vision seemed to be spinning. He just felt anger at being treated like just a mere subject.

“You were always my king. You used to know that once.” The dwarf’s words were blurring away, unimportant. “You cannot see what you have become.” 

“ _ Go!”  _ the King yelled. “ _ Get out!  _ Before I kill you!” The words came so easily, but they felt weighted, like there was something about the dwarf that he had forgotten.  _ What is the life of some common dwarf against mine? I am the King under the Mountain.  _ He did not notice the dwarf leave.

With closed eyes and a deep breath, he made his way to the hall where he had tried to drown Smaug in gold. The whole floor was covered in solid gold a few feet deep. His ears started ringing, suddenly. In confusion, he stepped backwards, but then a torrent of voices hit him.

“You sit here with a crown upon your head … you are lesser now than you have ever been….” The voice of the dwarf he had just spoken to - no, his name was Dwalin - came back.

“...but a treasure such as this cannot be counted in lives lost….” His response was cold and hardened, and he could see now how foolish it was.

“...a sickness lies upon that treasure….” It was Balin’s rumbling tone this time. The voices were coming quicker and quicker.

“...the blind ambition of a mountain-king….”

“... _ AM I NOT THE KING….”  _ Thorin winced at how harsh his own voice sounded.

“This gold is ours….and ours alone….”

“...treasure….”

“I will not part with a single coin….”

“....he could not see beyond his own desire….”

“...as if I was some lowly dwarf lord….”

“...Oakenshield….”

“...a sickness that drove your grandfather mad….”

The gold floor was curving up around him. He was sinking. But the voices kept coming.

“...Oakenshield…”

“This is Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror…”

“...I am not my grandfather...my grandfather….”

He was sinking. He was drowning. He would drown, like Smaug was supposed to.

“You are the heir to the throne of Durin…”

“They are dying out there…”

“...take back...take back Erebor….”

“Dain is surrounded...is surrounded…is surrounded...is surrounded…” The words bounced around his skull, sending a splitting pain through his spine every time they were repeated.

“...take back your homeland….” The gold was going to swallow him. It would swallow him, and then he’d be gone.

But then he saw the boot.

Half submerged, half not, stuck in the solid gold. It was a dark, dark brown, blackened where it met the precious metal. Too small to belong to a dwarf - too big to belong to men or elves. But he knew whose it was. 

“...you’ve changed, Thorin….” Her voice sounded in his head.

“...I am not my grandfather….”

“...you can’t go to war against them…!”

“...I am not my grandfather….”

“...True friends are  _ truly  _ hard to find....”

“I am not my grandfather.”     

The gold stopped twisting around him, returning back to being the floor. Staring at the boot, he yanked off his crown and threw it to the floor. Gold crashed against gold with a  _ cink.  _

_ I am no king. I am Thorin Oakenshield. _

~

(Name) was with Gandalf in Dain, sword ready in her grip. Her gaze was swept between the chaos in front of them, where orcs and men and elves fought. Every now and then, an orc would rush the hobbit and wizard, and Gandalf would cut them down before (Name) could even lift her weapon. 

Another orc horn sounded, but this was followed by an unfamiliar trumpet. The girl looked up, searching for the source of the noise, and found Bombur standing on top the gates of Erebor. Everyone stopped in confusion, just in time to watch a golden statue smash through the barricade of rocks patching up the gates of the mountain. Thirteen distant figures immediately ran out of the dust, led by…

“Thorin!” (Name) exclaimed. The company sprinted out towards the ranks of Dain’s army. Distant shouts could be heard, and Thorin and his cousin led the way through the orc ranks, smashing and slicing, like a well-oiled battle machine.ing

“The dwarves are rallying!” (Name) gasped.

“They are rallying to their king,” stated Gandalf, with a proud little smile on his face.

(Name) kept her eyes on the company’s leader, as he embraced his cousin in a brief respite in the battle. A massive troll stormed nearby, getting closer and closer, but she barely glanced its way. Spearmen and archers surrounded it and attacked it repetitively. Her attention was stolen for a moment as it let out a roar, but was immediately grabbed again when four figures could be seen riding up a mountain in the direction that Azog was.

“Gandalf!” she called. “ _ Gandalf!” _ The wizard decapitated an orc, then hurried to where (Name) stood. She pointed at the four dwarves. 

“Thorin, Fili, Kili, and Dwalin…” Gandalf observed. “He’s taking his best warriors!”

“To do what?”

“To cut the head off the snake.”

(Name)’s gaze was again pulled from them as two familiar looking elves rode to Gandalf. 

“Gandalf!” the blond one exclaimed.  _ Wait...he’s the one I stole the keys from…. _

“Legolas, Legolas Greenleaf!” Gandalf greeted him.

“There is a second army! Bolg leads a force of Gundabad orcs. They are almost upon us!” (Name) noticed the second elf was the red-head who had chatted with Kili in the night.

“Gundabad…” Gandalf thought deeply. “This was their plan all along. Azog engages our forces, then Bolg seeps in from the north.”

“The north- what do you mean, exactly?” (Name) questioned. Legolas seemed to notice her presence for the first time. Recognizing her, he shot her a look.

“Ravenhill,” Gandalf answered simply.

Following the wizard’s gaze, she found the mountain the dwarves were almost to. “Ravenhill….Thorin, and Fili and Kili, they’re all up there!” 

Gandalf started making his way towards Thranduil, who was walking slowly through the city. “My lord,” he started, “dispatch this force to Ravenhill! The dwarves are about to be overrun. Thorin must be warned.”

“By all means, warn him,” Thranduil replied haughtily. “I have spent enough Elvish blood in defense of this accursed land - No more!” And with that, he turned and walked away. “Thranduil?!” Gandalf called after the Elvenking.

“I’ll go!” (Name) blurted out.

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Gandalf instantly replied. “You’ll never make it!”

“I will,” (Name) argued, already walking backwards.

“They will see you coming, and they will kill you!”

“They won’t see me,” (Name) assured him, making Gandalf look at her peculiarly.

“I won’t allow it-!” Gandalf started.

“I’m not asking you to allow it!” interrupted (Name). She smiled reassuringly at Gandalf, who nodded, and then turned and dashed away. Once she turned a corner, she pulled out her ring and put it on without hesitation. Instantly, all the blood spilled and smeared on the ground turned dark gray, and when she looked up, the dwarves were just four black dots on a gray peak.

~

It was the fastest (Name) had ever ran, no doubt. Her feet seemed to never touch the ground as she wove through the city, then the battleground, then, finally, Ravenhill. She climbed up into a clearing, finding two figures staring up at a cliff. _Dwalin and Thorin,_ (Name) recognized as she got closer. Pulling off her ring, she began running to them. For whatever reason, though,  they didn’t turn. 

(Name) squinted up in the direction of their stares as she slowed down. What she saw made her heart stop for a moment in terror. 

At the top of a ruin, Fili was being held over the hole in the side, his feet kicking and swinging. His hands were scrabbling at the mottled hand holding him up, trying to escape. A rasping voice focused (Name)’s terror on another object. 

Azog stood there, holding Fili high off the ground by his collar. 

“This one dies first. Then the brother.” He grinned, showing off black and rotting teeth. 

“Then you, Oakenshield!” He cackled. “You will die last!” The orc shook with laughter, his grip slipping on the young dwarf he was holding. Fili yelped, grabbing Azog’s arm in fear for his life. He shook his head, and called out to the dwarves below. 

“No. Run-” He stopped short, and (Name) wished she could avert her eyes from what she was seeing. But no, her (e/c) orbs were glued with a sick horror to Fili’s impaled body. Azog pulled out the blade, and the dwarf started falling to the ground.

“No!” Thorin yelled, starting to dash to where his motionless cousin landed. (Name) grabbed his left arm, and Dwalin grabbed his other, restraining him. The hobbit then noticed Kili standing in a doorway of the ruins, staring at his lifeless brother. He then dashed furiously up the ruin steps. “KILI!” Thorin hollered, straining against Dwalin and (Name).

“Thorin!” Dwalin shook the King under the Mountain a little. Thorin twisted out of his grip and clambered up the steps after Azog. Dropping his arm, the bald dwarf turned and walked away. (Name), however, was glued to the spot. There were no tears in her eyes - she was too numb to cry. Just as she shook herself out of her daze and was about to turn, a noise could be heard, one of many wings flapping. 

(Name) turned back. There flew a huge pack of bat-like creatures, all swooping towards her head. She quickly dropped to the earth, feeling the monsters’ wings barely skim the top of her head. The wind whipped her (h/l) (h/c) colored locks around her face, and until it died down, she didn’t stand again.

Finally, as she got to her shaky feet, the little hobbit found herself facing a whole army of orcs.  _ When did they get here?!  _ The apparent leader snarled when he spotted her, starting to charge. With a wave of furiosity, (Name) unsheathed her sword, letting out a cry before sprinting towards the army.

Suddenly, she found Dwalin beside her. “Lassie, you’re getting more and more foolish every day,” he stated jokingly. “Save that for us dwarves.” (Name) smiled, despite what had just passed. She then proceeded to impale the first orc she could reach. 

Dwalin and (Name) hacked and slashed their way through the crowds of orcs. They still seemed to be in a mournful haze. At one point, (Name) found her mind dangerously wandering off to the time she first realized Fili would be friendly. It was the first night on the adventure. He and Kili had been joking about orcs, provoking the anger of Thorin.  

_ “O-Orcs?” (Name) repeated, confused and terrified at the same time. _

_ “Throat-cutters,” another dwarf with blond locks and similar looks to the first continued.  _ Fili and Kili _ , the teen recalled from stray conversation she had overheard.  _ Wait, concentrate on the throat cutting part! _ “There'll be dozens of them out there. The lowlands will be crawling with them.” _

_ “Will they h...hurt us?” (Name) faltered. _

_ “Aye,” Kili grinned. “They strike in the wee small hours, when everyone’s asleep. Quick and quiet! No screams, just a whole lot of blood.” The girl’s face turned a ghostly white, and the siblings chuckled. “Ready to go home now, girl?” Fili said, a challenge on his face. _

(Name) was about to sob in sadness when a streak of pain across her right arm captured her attention. Her gaze whipped to where a mean-looking orc had cut through the sleeve of her tunic, creating a deep cut and drawing blood. In response, the girl stabbed him right back. “See how you like that!” she hissed. At this point, her sword was coated in black liquid. She herself was probably also splattered, but she didn’t care.

The hobbit wasn’t sure how long she’d been stabbing, but her arms seemed to weigh five pounds more each, and her movements were slower. Her stamina, which had been low in the first place, was fading. The orc she was currently battling (was it orc 42? Or 45? (Name) had lost the motivation to count) was swiftly gaining ground. 

In the corners of her eyes, (Name) could see that the army of orcs was starting to surround her and the dwarf. Her cut was starting to throb now that she was getting exhausted. Eventually, she ended up in the center of a circle with Dwalin, surrounded by orcs. The two kept their swords up, despite the fact they were horribly outnumbered. (Name) started to feel afraid.  _ What will they do?  _ She couldn’t help thinking.  _ Will I die like Fili? _

The leader of the army came forward. His expression was twisted into a snarl, causing (Name) to lift her sword higher in defense. There was a moment of tenseness, where she stared the orc down intensely. Then Dwalin, from behind her, lashed out with his battle axe, opening a large slash in the orc’s arm. 

Hoping that the injury would slow him, (Name) followed with a stab. It didn’t, however, and her attack was blocked swiftly. Returning the slice, the leader hissed a command. All the orcs stepped back in unison, leaving him and (Name) in the center. “ _ Jiak liwo drepa avhe weaklaumn.”  _ The hobbit pointed the tip of her sword at the orc, noticing her hands were shaking and trying to steady them.

“Don’t even-!” Dwalin started to say, marching forwards. (Name) had forgotten that the dwarves could understand the orc language, and was now wary. Before Dwalin could attack again, though, he was swarmed by a group of orcs. Then suddenly (Name)’s sword was blocking the orc’s spear, which would’ve impaled her if her reflexes hadn’t kicked in.

_ Thanks for the sparring lessons, Fili.  _ She pushed the spear to the side, tears prickling a bit at her eyes. She stood taller, and looked the leader straight in the eye. She shifted her feet, and was about to take a deep breath when the orc’s spear came at her again. 

_ “Remember,”  _ Fili used to say.  _ “Always keep your attention on two things; your opponent, and your surroundings.”  _ (Name) glanced at Dwalin, who was busy fighting off swarming orcs. She brought her attention back to the orc facing her. 

_ “Pay attention to the little things. How far can their weapon reach? Where are the weak spots in their armor? Tiny details like that are really important.”  _ The hobbit sized up her opponent. He had a gap in his armor on his neck. She could go for that. But how could she get close?

“Cabbage head,” (Name) spat.  _ What was that? Stupid Uncle Rildon. His curses caught on. _

Apparently the girl took too much time thinking, as a spear was being jabbed far too close to her stomach for her liking. 

She dodged to the left, and for whatever reason, sliced off the head of the spear. The metal tip clattered when it hit the rocky ground.  _ Haha! No impaling me today! _

The orc stood there for a moment, and before (Name) could react, he swung the shaft of his broken spear straight towards her head. It hit her temple, making her stumble backwards. The spot where the wood hit her skull rocketed with waves of pain. Her eyesight was blurry and doubled and nonexistent all at the same time, and her thoughts seemed to all turn sluggish. 

When she hit the earth, her vision was swimming with black dots and dancing squiggly lines of all colors. 

Then the black around the edges of her sight crept in, until it was all-consuming. 

_ Damn it.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy that double update people aint happening again

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.wattpad.com/489856452-an-unexpected-hobbit-reader-insert-my-neighbor-is  
> Here you go children. Enjoy. Eat your vegetables. 
> 
>  
> 
> GUYS WAIT.  
> WHATS A HOMESTUCK SKIN  
> WHATS AN UNDERTALE WORK SKIN  
> WHAT  
> Wait i think i have an idea  
> tell me anyways in the comments, pretty please with cram on top!


End file.
